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Know loads of girls but don't fancy any of them? Watch

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    Due to circumstances beyond my control, at university my circle of friends is about 80% girls. I know lots of them very well, I'm truly good friends with them, and there's lots of different personality types within them.

    The thing is, the other day a flatmate asked me if there was any girl I was interested in which got me thinking that there isn't. In fact out of all the girls I know there isn't a single one which I'd really want to date or have any sort of connection beyond friends with. Some of them are extremely good looking but beyond liking them for their looks I don't really see myself having a relationship with them.

    The obvious answer would be that I'm gay, but I've honestly thought about that before and I've never been attracted to other guys in any way beyond friendship. Whereas I had a girlfriend when I was 15 (I'm 20 currently) for a few months, and another that lasted less than a fortnight earlier this year (it was a big mistake!). I would actually like to go out with a girl but don't have the urge to with any that I know.

    Random info about me: I'm still a virgin, massively sociable, can get on with almost anyone, not very physically attractive, 2nd year university.

    So I don't know what to think. Is it that I haven't met the girl yet and I'm looking into it too much? Am I so inexperienced with relationships I just don't know the signs? Maybe I've become too used to female company?

    Any advice to help me figure out what's going on is much appreciated!

    tldr: Don't fancy any girls I know, not gay, huh?
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    To be quite honest with you, brah... if you meet a girl who is not a close, blood relative... and she is under the age of 40 and you do not, on any level, want to sex her... then you might be gay bro.
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    Don't get why you're worried about it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Due to circumstances beyond my control, at university my circle of friends is about 80% girls. I know lots of them very well, I'm truly good friends with them, and there's lots of different personality types within them.

    The thing is, the other day a flatmate asked me if there was any girl I was interested in which got me thinking that there isn't. In fact out of all the girls I know there isn't a single one which I'd really want to date or have any sort of connection beyond friends with. Some of them are extremely good looking but beyond liking them for their looks I don't really see myself having a relationship with them.

    The obvious answer would be that I'm gay, but I've honestly thought about that before and I've never been attracted to other guys in any way beyond friendship. Whereas I had a girlfriend when I was 15 (I'm 20 currently) for a few months, and another that lasted less than a fortnight earlier this year (it was a big mistake!). I would actually like to go out with a girl but don't have the urge to with any that I know.

    Random info about me: I'm still a virgin, massively sociable, can get on with almost anyone, not very physically attractive, 2nd year university.

    So I don't know what to think. Is it that I haven't met the girl yet and I'm looking into it too much? Am I so inexperienced with relationships I just don't know the signs? Maybe I've become too used to female company?

    Any advice to help me figure out what's going on is much appreciated!

    tldr: Don't fancy any girls I know, not gay, huh?
    DUDE! 80% of girls whom you are friends with is not by chance
    PROBLEM - massively geeky and lack self confidence/ SUPER EGOSTIC
    ADVICE - get a medical check up or something
    SUMMARY - there would definitely be a girl out there that fancies you, you can't see that because you believe you are not attractive. 'Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder'. Think about it
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    You just sound like you don't have much of a sex drive - or maybe your sex drive has turned inwards by some trauma such as perceived rejection or fear. Notice that I haven't used the label "asexual", which is a facticity and does not drive you to change yourself.
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by Barden)
    To be quite honest with you, brah... if you meet a girl who is not a close, blood relative... and she is under the age of 40 and you do not, on any level, want to sex her... then you might be gay bro.
    On one level I do want to have sex with a girl, but I just don't seem to feel anything else on any other level with the girls I know.
    (Original post by Kerr Avon)
    Don't get why you're worried about it.
    It seems a bit odd to me.
    (Original post by mauvetard)
    DUDE! 80% of girls whom you are friends with is not by chance
    PROBLEM - massively geeky and lack self confidence/ SUPER EGOSTIC
    ADVICE - get a medical check up or something
    SUMMARY - there would definitely be a girl out there that fancies you, you can't see that because you believe you are not attractive. 'Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder'. Think about it
    It really is almost completely by chance. I was placed in a flat in my first year with 4 girls and 1 other guy. The other guy left after a couple of weeks but never told the university so spent about 9 months as the only guy in the flat. On my course there is only one other person who isn't even from England and doesn't speak English very well. My uni has hardly any non-sport groups (I'm not good at sports). I went to a SU social and was placed with people from my school, I'm doing a construction-based course so thought there'd be lots of guys, the only others there were practically the only 3 other girls in the whole built environment school. Fate was working against me.

    I admit, I am slightly geeky but I have a decent social life (I still have my male friends from home) and can be confident when I want to be.
    (Original post by Arekkusu)
    maybe your sex drive has turned inwards by some trauma such as perceived rejection or fear.
    Hmm, that might be something to do with it. I was bullied quite badly when I was at school for a few years so its possibly had more of an effect on me than I thought. I am self-conscious which I thought that was natural but I might be taking it too far without realising.

    Thank you all very much your input, its appreciated and gives me something to think about.
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    Maybe you're asexual or something?
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    OP, stop worrying. Don't listen to people on here who make out that guys should be attracted to anything with a pulse. I think what's happened here is that you've just matured a bit and now look at women with more of a level head. You can see that a girl is attractive, but that doesn't necessarily mean you fancy her. And when you do meet a girl and find her attractive, the fact that you're a little more discerning will work in your favour - there's nothing worse than wondering in the back of your head 'Would he have also gone for any of my friends, or any girl?'. Some girl will come along soon and at least the slate will be clear for when that happens. I wouldn't worry; I'm in a similar situation.
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    shag them.
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    Maybe, just maybe, none of them are your type. Mind you, saying that, there are plenty of girls I've known not to be my type at all, but I still wouldn't have said no.
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    omo
 
 
 
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