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Possible girlfriend? Watch

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    Apologies if this post comes across as clichéd or in some manner a rehash of previous threads.

    I'm a 20-year-old male in my second year at university. Although most of the students in the same year and subject area are girls, there is one in particular with whom I attend a larger number of lectures and classes (since we are aiming for the exact same honours degree, our choices of Finals papers are similar and our assignments overlap). I admit that I've been attracted to her from the moment of our first meeting, and these feelings have only strengthened since.

    While we certainly have a platonic friendship, I continue to wonder whether – as two individuals – we could ever be more than just friends. I really have little idea of what (if anything at all) she thinks about this – our conversations are more about work than anything else, although we are definitely getting to know more about each other. We both had a good time at the end-of-term Christmas events. Now, into the holidays, I'm thinking about her much more often.

    The main obstacle to me taking this further is probably my rather withdrawn personality. In truth, I've experienced moderate to serious clinical depression on-off for the last 24 months or so, from which I feel that I am now starting to move on (I kept all of this to myself). The mistake that I used to make was to obsess over academic life at the expense of a meaningful social existence. Throughout my first year at university, I generally avoided social situations due to a lack of confidence, but now I feel much more open and extroverted.

    However, having been so reserved in the past, I've never actually had a girlfriend – or, for that matter, even kissed a girl. It's not that I doubt my sexuality, and although I suppose that I'm a bit nerd-ish, I don't think that I'm that bad-looking. Once again, it's probably confidence – she remains more socially adept, has had boyfriends in the past and comes across as having a better sense of humour.

    When it comes to relationships, I'm a complete novice and don't really have much idea, so I thought that I'd see about asking for some advice. Is she simply out of my league?

    Thanks for reading.
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    Post pics of you both, and I'll judge whether or not she's out of your league.
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    tell her: flirt, ask her out, whatever

    that's pretty much all the advice i have for you
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    (Original post by Addzter)
    Post pics of you both, and I'll judge whether or not she's out of your league.
    lol

    OP, if you wanna bag this girl...you gotta do it quickly. Otherwise she'll always think of you as a friend. Start getting touchy with her. Then boom out of nowhere kiss her.
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    When you go to chat her up, use simpler phrases on her.
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    Enjoy your relationship with her more than you over-analyze it, you need to relinquish these ideas by jumping into the deep end and confronting her about your feelings.

    Hopefully in a little less linguistic fashion (although I am a hypocrite using alteration just there :unimpressed:). But seriously, be real, be yourself, because that's all you can be.
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    Yeah, not gonna happen. The way you've described yourself, together with the fact that you've known her for at least a year..


    Not gonna happen.
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    Relaaaaaaaaaaaaaax man!
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    Aight first step is to chill with the hyper-propriety. I used to be all loquacious and proper and ****, and it ain't a cool look. It's a square look. People ain't into books and being well-spoken and discussing existentialism. I wised up and got hood and threw in a few 'aight's and 'yo's and then before I knew it I had a beautiful girlfriend and all the dudes wanted to be me. Talk like Ice Cube and this girl will want to ride you like a donkey on the beach, describe yourself as introverted and call your relationship platonic rather than 'ixnay on the pussy' or something snazzy like that and she will just be like 'errrr boring where is JCC-MGS for some loving'.

    Second thing is that nobody that uses italics that often deserves to get laid. Chill with the emphasising every other word, brah.
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    Advice such as "it's not gonna happen"/"it's been too long" is nonsense, for a kick off.

    You've really two approaches, as I see it. You can ask her out - that way your anxieties are put to rest and you get an answer, but you have to put yourself out there. Or, you can try a subtler approach - flirt, see where it goes, that kind of thing.

    I'd urge you to go for the former, especially if you can put enough faith in her that even if she's not interested in more than a friendship, she'll just say so and you can carry on as normal.

    Also, I am sure this is clear, but be yourself
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    It's a pleasure to read a post from someone who actually has a grasp of the English language, you do italicise too much though!

    Flirt, ask her out if you can muster the courage. Relax too, if she isn't interested deal with it and move on.
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    Ask her out, confidence has nothing to do with wether girls like a boy or not (speaking for myself I guess) and you sound as though you are in each other's league. Good Luck! x
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    there is no such thing as being out of league, only you put yourself there.
    i'm in a similar position as you, i asked her out though but thankfully we're still friends
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    Ross?
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    The chances of you succeeding are miniscule. You've been friend-zoned.
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    ask her out, maybe something simple like the cinema, see what she says
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    Make sure you're in the same place at New Years' and kiss her If she is interested then great, if not then you can be like "Hey, it's New Years'"! x
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    ask her, simples
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    (Original post by JCC-MGS)
    Aight first step is to chill with the hyper-propriety. I used to be all loquacious and proper and ****, and it ain't a cool look. It's a square look. People ain't into books and being well-spoken and discussing existentialism. I wised up and got hood and threw in a few 'aight's and 'yo's and then before I knew it I had a beautiful girlfriend and all the dudes wanted to be me. Talk like Ice Cube and this girl will want to ride you like a donkey on the beach, describe yourself as introverted and call your relationship platonic rather than 'ixnay on the pussy' or something snazzy like that and she will just be like 'errrr boring where is JCC-MGS for some loving'.
    Ha-ha! In all honesty, she's precisely the sort of person who is in fact into books, being well-spoken, and all that. We're similar people in that respect. Agreed, I could probably lose some of the seriousness - but, believe me, imitating rappers probably wouldn't work much in this situation...

    (Original post by JCC-MGS)
    Second thing is that nobody that uses italics that often deserves to get laid. Chill with the emphasising every other word, brah.
    I'll remember. Thanks.

    (Original post by Roo Bix)
    Enjoy your relationship with her more than you over-analyze it, you need to relinquish these ideas by jumping into the deep end and confronting her about your feelings.

    Hopefully in a little less linguistic fashion (although I am a hypocrite using alteration just there :unimpressed:). But seriously, be real, be yourself, because that's all you can be.
    Yes, that's kind of what I suspected all along. Perhaps getting a good conversation going, then shifting the topic not too late, would be a good approach. Thanks.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ross?
    I'm afraid not, sorry.
 
 
 
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