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My social anxiety affects my ability to form relationships with women. Watch

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    For the last two months, I've been on paroxetine for severe depression. Since I have started taking this drug, my suicidal thoughts have gone worse. My life in general is waste. Women hate my guts because of the way I am. I'm a 21 year old male virgin [with-hold the laughter] and women deem me as unattractive. Contributing factors to this would be acne, obesity and facial stigmata. I still live with my parents, I am training to become a nurse and I have no chance in actually becoming one. I have the fashion sense of a middle-aged man and my intelligence equates to that of a slug. I have no sense of humour and I'm British [unfortunately]. I have no confidence when approaching or talking with women because my fear of rejection and my apparent ugliness. I have no part-time job and obviously no money. My future is looking pretty bleak at the moment and I am contemplating suicide a lot. A lot of people say I put myself down, but I'm just saying what's true. I don't even see the purpose of living, I really wish someone would kill me. Women really really really hate me, I don't even talk to them and they still hate my guts.
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    (Original post by 89murph)
    For the last two months, I've been on paroxetine for severe depression. Since I have started taking this drug, my suicidal thoughts have gone worse. My life in general is waste. Women hate my guts because of the way I am. I'm a 21 year old male virgin [with-hold the laughter] and women deem me as unattractive. Contributing factors to this would be acne, obesity and facial stigmata. I still live with my parents, I am training to become a nurse and I have no chance in actually becoming one. I have the fashion sense of a middle-aged man and my intelligence equates to that of a slug. I have no sense of humour and I'm British [unfortunately]. I have no confidence when approaching or talking with women because my fear of rejection and my apparent ugliness. I have no part-time job and obviously no money. My future is looking pretty bleak at the moment and I am contemplating suicide a lot. A lot of people say I put myself down, but I'm just saying what's true. I don't even see the purpose of living, I really wish someone would kill me. Women really really really hate me, I don't even talk to them and they still hate my guts.
    OP, please don't give up! You can get through this. Visit your GP ASAP and be open and honest and try and get some therapy. YOU can change your lifestyle. Respect yourself and your body comes first though, change your diet, exercise more, get a job and start socialising. Keeping busy will help you I think. I imagine it's not easy, but set yourself tasks to complete, and little by little you'll achieve them and become happier! Good luck!
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    Just take a step back and be a bit more rational.

    Although you write a bit like a teenager (which is annoying), you're definitely not as stupid as a slug.
    People don't like you for your fashion sense and that's something you can change, so who cares about that one, not important.
    Again, you can shift the weight, esp. because you're still young.
    What are your interests?
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    (Original post by chinaberry)
    Just take a step back and be a bit more rational.

    Although you write a bit like a teenager (which is annoying), you're definitely not as stupid as a slug.
    People don't like you for your fashion sense and that's something you can change, so who cares about that one, not important.
    Again, you can shift the weight, esp. because you're still young.
    What are your interests?
    Like a teenager? That's really cheered me up.
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    Life is just a game of chance and I want to quit.
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    (Original post by 89murph)
    For the last two months, I've been on paroxetine for severe depression. Since I have started taking this drug, my suicidal thoughts have gone worse. My life in general is waste. Women hate my guts because of the way I am. I'm a 21 year old male virgin [with-hold the laughter] and women deem me as unattractive. Contributing factors to this would be acne, obesity and facial stigmata. I still live with my parents, I am training to become a nurse and I have no chance in actually becoming one. I have the fashion sense of a middle-aged man and my intelligence equates to that of a slug. I have no sense of humour and I'm British [unfortunately]. I have no confidence when approaching or talking with women because my fear of rejection and my apparent ugliness. I have no part-time job and obviously no money. My future is looking pretty bleak at the moment and I am contemplating suicide a lot. A lot of people say I put myself down, but I'm just saying what's true. I don't even see the purpose of living, I really wish someone would kill me. Women really really really hate me, I don't even talk to them and they still hate my guts.

    I'm no doctor but when my cousin was depressed, he lost 90 pounds and he's now one of the happiest people I know. I'm not saying it's the same thing because his depression wasn't as serious as yours sounds.

    I can give you advice from my past. Wallowing in self pity about any situation never helps. Why don't you try being more pro-active ? I know it must be hard for you but are you seriously saying you couldn't be doing more to help yourself ?
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    Okay, so you've identified the main issues with yourself. Now go ahead and start changing them and quit whining.
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    (Original post by Keckers)
    Okay, so you've identified the main issues with yourself. Now go ahead and start changing them and quit whining.
    Easier said than done.
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    A defect on my face.
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    If your medication is making you feel suicidal, isn't that indicative that you should change to something else? Have you contacted your GP? Mirtazapine might work better for you.
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    (Original post by 89murph)
    For the last two months, I've been on paroxetine for severe depression. Since I have started taking this drug, my suicidal thoughts have gone worse. My life in general is waste. Women hate my guts because of the way I am. I'm a 21 year old male virgin [with-hold the laughter] and women deem me as unattractive. Contributing factors to this would be acne, obesity and facial stigmata. I still live with my parents, I am training to become a nurse and I have no chance in actually becoming one. I have the fashion sense of a middle-aged man and my intelligence equates to that of a slug. I have no sense of humour and I'm British [unfortunately]. I have no confidence when approaching or talking with women because my fear of rejection and my apparent ugliness. I have no part-time job and obviously no money. My future is looking pretty bleak at the moment and I am contemplating suicide a lot. A lot of people say I put myself down, but I'm just saying what's true. I don't even see the purpose of living, I really wish someone would kill me. Women really really really hate me, I don't even talk to them and they still hate my guts.
    :mad:

    Seriously though, I would change your medication if it isn't working for you. The problem with drugs is that they don't work for everyone, and they don't cure the underlying causes, just the symptoms (although not in your case).
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    (Original post by 89murph)
    Life is just a game of chance and I want to quit.
    I know what you mean by this OP. I feel like this atm and its pissing me off lol. Sometimes you just gotta ride it out really. Some things don't seem to make any sense and seem completely pointless.... It's not over yet though is it

    edit: But even thinking about committing suicide is very selfish and extremely stupid
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    Why haven't you revisited your GP? Your medication clearly isn't working, and may just end up making you feel worse than you already are. When I was on anti-depressants, within a week of taking them I experienced some nasty side-effects, suffice to say I stopped taking them immediately.

    As for having acne and being obese, there are always ways to diminish them. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and putting yourself down by stating you're not capable of achieving so and so. You clearly have ambitions, so put your skills to use and make something of yourself.

    And I highly doubt woman hate you. :lolwut:
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    (Original post by 89murph)
    Like a teenager? That's really cheered me up.
    Well, it's not my job to cheer you up. It's yours.
    And you do. Enough with the stiff language, just write how you would.
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    (Original post by Claire_Spoon)
    What does 'facial stigmata' mean?
    Means OP has a huge schnoz.
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    Tell me what you think of this advice...

    Okay. First of all...I'm 21 and I suffer from mild anxiety. The best way I can describe it is I feel like people do before a presentation, job interview or driving test when I talk to people. It causes me to act very awkward and people treat me like I'm an idiot. On top of that I had a really embarrassing skin condition which I wont get into. I'm on citalopram right now.

    I was like this for 4 years until I cured my skin condition then I started working on my behaviour. CBT and counselling didn't work.

    There's afew things I did which were quite simple to help me stop being down all the time and ease my anxiety:

    1. Get the fuck off the computer. I care don't if you sit in the house staring at a wall all day. Better that than on the computer for obvious reasons. I know for a fact your always looking for solutions or help online. Not good. I deleted my facebook. That was enough for me.

    2. Start reading whatever rocks your boat. ANYTHING. The paper everyday, a fiction or non fiction book. Preferably a biography to get inspiration from others or a something you can learn. I spent the whole summer reading about physics. Quantum theory, space etc.

    3. Spend some of your leisure time outside of the house EVERYDAY. Even just for ten minutes. Going to college doesn't count. Just tell your parents your goin' to the shops or something and take some music with you.

    4. Don't take drugs or alcohol. Not good for what your on but you probably already know this.

    5. Okay now on to your self-confidence. I am very childish so I've tried a lot of 'techniques' to gain confidence. I used to watch my favourite movies (fight club, scarface etc) and act like some of the characters. Obviously that didn't work lol. I tried being a total geek so I didn't have to worry about my looks or how I act but that didn't work. After months I've realised the obvious....



    I'm me. I'll do what I do. There's nobody else like me, no matter how embarrassing I may be. I can't change who I am. We're all human, we live, we die. Doesn't matter what we do. I like my myself...I wake up everyday feeling like a different person (I might be skitzo lol), I act cool one moment, dumb the next, arrogant, shy, funny, serious, awkard, confident...I'm a complex guy, I'm not straight forward. I don't have close friends or worry about if my (non existant) girlfriend is cheating on my lol. I can't get girls to like me one day then have a girl crying over the phone cos I broke up with her the next. I'm outcast one day and the next I'm getting phone calls every second to hang out.

    Rant over...

    What I'm trying to say is your, you and you should enjoy being you. Your situation is special and it's giving you qualities others will never have.

    Finally....

    You have to take a deep look at yourself and decide to change for the better. You could be the guy that went from a 'loser' to the coolest motherfucker whoever lived.

    The only thing is to give yourself a reasonable time frame to do so. If I were you I'd say 5 to 10 years.

    And another great thing about these experiences is you really appreciate the little things in life that others take for granted. I sweat a lot, and I mean a lot because of my anxiety. All I'd like to do is wear a t-shirt and smell fresh. Is that too much to ask? lol

    Just start NOW, brother!

    Seriously, imgaine yoursel in ten years with a hot girlfriend and telling her how you used to be depressed and over weight. She'll admirer you even more.

    Fuck the world!

    And one more thing lol...

    In all honesty people don't care what you do or look like or say. People just pretend to infront of others to act like they're better than others.

    How are they better, though? Ask yourself.
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    Say something man! lol

    To make sure your not dead.
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    I had the Blues because I had no Shoes, until upon the street, I met a man who had no feet. :awesome:

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    Just trying to help man :dontknow:
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    If you are feeling suicidal, it might help to read this:
    http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/

    I don't have have social anxiety disorder, or depression, so I can't say I know how you feel, but I can understand a small part of the way there.

    The best advice I can offer is:
    ¬Talk about it. Talking on here is a really good thing- grats on doing that. Also, you could try talking to parents, other family members, your GP, other online communities (such as facebook), people at where you study
    ¬Think in terms of individual achievements. When you get a piece of social interaction that goes well (let it be anything. e.g. a brief conversation with a tutor) then remind yourself that you've just achieved that. You could do the same with the things youd like to improve like weight, but personally I would focus on the confidence and state of mind and the rest will follow.
    ¬It's important that you tell your GP that you think your symptoms might be worsening due to the medication. Do this as soon as you can, they should treat this as a priority.
    ¬Perhaps talk to some others with similar conditions (depression etc)- there will be many communities on line and it could really help you feel less alone.

    I hope that you can work forward and improve things, and if you feel you need to vent at any point, continue to just reach out and talk to someone. It may help a lot simply to tell someone how you're feeling even if they have no constructive advice to offer right then.

    xxx
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    I'm here.
 
 
 
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