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What do I do with him? Watch

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    I have been "seeing" a guy for little over a year now. At first I wasnt into him but as we got to know each other as friends I eventually fell in love with him. Problems came when I realised that my parents would have a problem with him because of his background...also he has given me reason not to trust him. ( he once threatened me when I said I didnt want to date him, this was before I fell for him...stupid to stay with him...I know!)

    So a year on he has treated me well, still hoping we will get together and he declaired that he loves me, but I feel like he wouldnt be faithful to me because I dont want to have sex with him. Friends say if he just wanted sex then he would have given up a long time ago but I'm still not 100% sure.

    So I've evaluated the situation, I would love to be with him but because of my parents and personal issues I feel like things wouldnt last anyway...but God I love him....I just wish things were simple and I could be with him...but we are also really good friends and I'm worried that if I tell him that we should let go of the hope of being together that he will not even want to be friends anymore.

    So should I rule out the fact that we will ever be together and tell him that or just see how things go ( bearing in mind we have been doing that for a year, its not fair on him, but I told him I cant do relationships yet he still insists on waiting and "coming to an agreement"). I have a feeling that he is just using me to fill in time until he finds someone else....

    (by the way guys would you persue a girl for more than a year if you only wanted sex?....)
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    Punch him in the ****.
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    (Original post by Retrodiction)
    Punch him in the ****.
    Why?
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    HELLOOOOOOOO Women!!!!!!!!! first sign of a abusive partner to is threaten you to stay with him!!!!!!

    in love you may be but you will get over it with few consequences now rather than having him around for too long and then getting him to go faced by more serious consequences.

    just take care of yourself.....
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    (Original post by purebeauty)
    HELLOOOOOOOO Women!!!!!!!!! first sign of a abusive partner to is threaten you to stay with him!!!!!!

    in love you may be but you will get over it with few consequences now rather than having him around for too long and then getting him to go faced by more serious consequences.

    just take care of yourself.....
    Thanks...I guess what you have said is nothing new to me...but I guess he knows what buttons to press when it come to making me feel "special". I was thinking because he only threatened me one that maybe he had changed...he said it a long time ago and never said it to me again. I guess I feel like he is the only guy for me and that I cant feel the same about anyone else ( he's the first guy I've fallen in love with). So do you think I should just end things completely? or stay friends with him?....sounds pathetic but I cant imagine life without him...
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    Suck his willy
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    (Original post by judicious)
    Suck his willy
    :angelblush: so thats all he's after....
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    :angelblush: so thats all he's after....
    Dunno, but suck his willy anyway! It's not really full on sex
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    There's a few issues to be raised here. Can we ask, how did he threaten you? Also, what are you reasons to not wanting to have sex with him?
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    (Original post by Roo Bix)
    There's a few issues to be raised here. Can we ask, how did he threaten you? Also, what are you reasons to not wanting to have sex with him?
    Last year before I really knew him, he asked me out but I said no and that's when he said he wanted to hit me, but he didnt.
    Well I'm religious and I would like to wait til marriage ideally if I can but even if I don't I want to be sure that I loose my virginity to someone I trust 100% and well...I dont always feel 100% with him...I feel like if I did sleep with him he would just ditch me afterwards as part of me still thinks thats all he wants ( even though its been over a year).
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    He's threatened you, and you don't trust him 100%. These are two key reasons why you shouldn't pursue a relationship with him.

    Do you have much guy company, as in, boyfriends, guys you like, guys that have liked you?
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    spike his drink.
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    (Original post by Roo Bix)
    He's threatened you, and you don't trust him 100%. These are two key reasons why you shouldn't pursue a relationship with him.

    Do you have much guy company, as in, boyfriends, guys you like, guys that have liked you?
    No, not really. Before going to uni I was really awkward with guys, its only recently that I have become more confident with guys and met a few who have liked me. I think the fact that his guy showed so much interest in me gave me the confidence I needed. But I guess be cause he is the first person I have felt so strongly about I dont want to let go of him, and he knows just want to say/do to keep me wanting him.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, not really. Before going to uni I was really awkward with guys, its only recently that I have become more confident with guys and met a few who have liked me. I think the fact that his guy showed so much interest in me gave me the confidence I needed. But I guess be cause he is the first person I have felt so strongly about I dont want to let go of him, and he knows just want to say/do to keep me wanting him.
    The reason why I ask is because people can fixate themselves on one person, because they are the only someone providing that certain kind of attention in their lifes.

    It sounds like it's just an old habit creeping up on you. You enjoy the prospect of getting together because you have history, but in reality, you know this isn't what you want or need.
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    (Original post by Roo Bix)
    The reason why I ask is because people can fixate themselves on one person, because they are the only someone providing that certain kind of attention in their lifes.

    It sounds like it's just an old habit creeping up on you. You enjoy the prospect of getting together because you have history, but in reality, you know this isn't what you want or need.
    I suppose, he was the first guy to show me attention for a long time so I guess thats why I dont want to let him go. There have been a couple of other guys since him who have asked me out but they werent serious like he seems to be. ( they were more see through in terms of what they wanted).
    Do you think I should bother saving the friendship? and do you think that he was ever serious about me/ only wanted sex?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I suppose, he was the first guy to show me attention for a long time so I guess thats why I dont want to let him go. There have been a couple of other guys since him who have asked me out but they werent serious like he seems to be. ( they were more see through in terms of what they wanted).
    Do you think I should bother saving the friendship? and do you think that he was ever serious about me/ only wanted sex?
    Of course they wont be as serious, you two have history. You need to give them (these guys), but more importantly yourself the chance to let them develop something with you.

    I think that you will know whether he was ever serious about you through saving the friendship.
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    (Original post by Roo Bix)
    Of course they wont be as serious, you two have history. You need to give them (these guys), but more importantly yourself the chance to let them develop something with you.

    I think that you will know whether he was ever serious about you through saving the friendship.
    Yeah I suppose, its just taking longer to get over him than I would have liked and even though I told him that I dont want a relationship right now he is still hanging on and hoping that something will happen between us which makes me want to change my mind and just go out with him. The only two things stopping me from dating him is the fact that I cant really trust him to be honest/loyal and also the fact that he threatened me...it makes me think that if I were to do something he didnt like again then maybe I wouldnt be so lucky....but he seems like the kind of guy who wouldnt harm a fly...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I suppose, its just taking longer to get over him than I would have liked and even though I told him that I dont want a relationship right now he is still hanging on and hoping that something will happen between us which makes me want to change my mind and just go out with him. The only two things stopping me from dating him is the fact that I cant really trust him to be honest/loyal and also the fact that he threatened me...it makes me think that if I were to do something he didnt like again then maybe I wouldnt be so lucky....but he seems like the kind of guy who wouldnt harm a fly...
    You should reflect on what you have written. But I concur, you and him getting together is an enjoyable prospect but for all wrong reasons (just because you have history with him). It takes much more than that to enjoy a develop a decent relationship.
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    (Original post by Roo Bix)
    You should reflect on what you have written. But I concur, you and him getting together is an enjoyable prospect but for all wrong reasons (just because you have history with him). It takes much more than that to enjoy a develop a decent relationship.
    Thank you for your advice
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    What nationality are the two of you?
 
 
 
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