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Ever felt like you'll never get a boyfriend?

I know i'm going to get some comments about how there are more important things than this 'petty' problem but its really getting to me. I feel like i'm never going to have a boyfriend :redface:

. I'm 17 and my longest boyfriend was of about a week in year 7 :eek:

. How depressing is that? I feel like the girl in sodding Never Been Kissed. It just got me to thinking- am i a total bore? Or is it that im just ugly? Or both? I mean, come on, i must be the only 17 year old girl in my region/country that has never had a 'proper' boyfriend by my age. I dont want sympathy, but some past experiences of others? Anyone ever felt the same way?

Reply 1

screamcore

maybe its because you listen to James Blunt

Reply 2

hugatree

11

I know what you mean, felt like that all the time. :smile:

Don't worry, it'll happen eventually. My friend is 19 and has never had a bf either, but it'll happen.

Reply 3

GreenMonstrosity

I often feel like that....but as a heterosexual guy I don't really want one.

Reply 4

Feefifofum

16

I know some truly beautiful girls that haven't had boyfriends, and at your age I hadn't been in a serious relationship. Don't worry about it, when you meet the right person, your insecurities will go away. Until then you'll have to be patient; I do realise that's not a lot of help. :hugs:

Just know that there certainly are other people in your situation.

Reply 5

Dekota

WE need a pic of you! :smile:

Reply 6

qwerty_st/n

11

i get that feeling sometimes too. like now.
ive been single for nearly two months now and it feels like a lifetime. its really gutting cos theres like 4 lads in the whole of our cohort at uni, and there either married, gay or too old. and then when im on placement, thats even less chance to meet a fella :frown:

Reply 7

Helenia

20

L.J

To be honest the only people I know who haven't had boyfriends are ugly, fat, annoying, and total workaholics (ie they never go out to be able to meet anyone anyway!). Even some weirdo workaholics who seem to be personality-less have boyfriends though! So if you don't fall into the above category the only suggestion is that you haven't met anyone you've clicked with yet. Hence: go out more, speak to more people, be more confident and don't be afraid to flirt (why not practice on guys you don't fancy? Or even girls? It's fun and you make great platonic friendships). Good luck!

Good job I met the boy last year otherwise your post would have just about made me kill myself. Thanks :p:

Cameleon, yes, I did feel like a freak for a looooooong time, especially when all my friends got serious boyfriends in 6th form (rather than people you hold hands with for a week in year 9) and even used to go off together at 6pm to take their Pill together :rolleyes:

Some people find people to go out with younger than others. This can be either due to your not meeting the right people, or that you haven't developed the confidence/personality to be in a relationship yet. I know now that most of the boys at school were either intimidated by me or just found me boring so I would never have ended up with any of them (though not for lack of wishing!) but coming to a different environment where I'm not out of the ordinary in terms of intelligence, and where people don't know you and judge you from how you were at 13, helped me change a lot. In short, tempting though it may well be, don't give up hope yet!
--------------

qwerty_st/n

i get that feeling sometimes too. like now.
ive been single for nearly two months now and it feels like a lifetime. its really gutting cos theres like 4 lads in the whole of our cohort at uni, and there either married, gay or too old. and then when im on placement, thats even less chance to meet a fella :frown:

2 months? My heart bleeds.

Reply 8

fairygirl21

2

L.J

To be honest the only people I know who haven't had boyfriends are ugly, fat, annoying

i bet she feels great now.

Reply 9

blissy

15

Question: Do you go out?

Perfect (or even not so perfect) men don't come and ring on your doorbell!

Reply 10

naelse

15

it's far better to be single than to be with a guy that doesn't deserve you. when the time is right/the right guy comes along, you'll know.

Reply 11

Helenia

20

L.J

Read the rest of the post...

Helen, you're neither fat, ugly, or unsociable :p:

I know this - but if I didn't have a boyfriend right now I'd be more inclined to believe it :redface:

Reply 12

tritogeneia1

1

I've never had a boyfriend of any sort either and I'm 20! (only just though...consoling myself with that :wink:

) It is annoying, even though I don't want a bf just for the sake of it it would be nice to at least try having a relationship with someone even if he eventually turned out not to be The One (to use a very chick-lit term, but you know what I mean.)
I agree with Helenia that some guys can be intimidated by women: I don't think I'm completely hideous and since I have friends I'm probably not a complete weirdo loser with unfortunate habits either, but I'm fairly tall and like to dress in an *individual* way, which apparently make me look older than I am; I've heard that this tends to scare guys. It might well be the same for you, Cameleon, but it could change when you get to uni. I have friends who never had a bf/gf either till they got here (hmm, I'm in 3rd year, by my theory I should have one by now, oh well!)
Hope this was vaguely useful/comforting and didn't descend into a rant/moan about my own lack of bf. :smile:

Reply 13

Lucky_8

8

Camelon im in the same situation as you, and i agree it doesnt feel too great :frown:

lol. In fact, it really gets you down and makes u feel real crap :frown:

But hey, I'm sure that someday it'll happen :smile:

Reply 14

Helenia

20

L.J

You should have so much more confidence than that :smile:

naelse is so right... Don't ever get with a guy for the sake of it.

Ah, you were never here during my first year...I still believed what I had instilled into me in school, and frankly I was a state, and blew the one chance I did have of a decent boyfriend by panicking and not talking to him (long story) and then hating myself for it.

Naelse is right though - don't go out with someone just so you're not single (I bet that actually quite a few of the popular girls do just that, I know my friends did!) You don't have to wait for "The One" because frankly at the moment we're probably too young to know, but at least go out with someone you like and think you have a chance of a decent relationship with. And if there isn't anyone like that at the moment, then you'll meet new people soon.

Reply 15

Saffie

11

I thought that, though when I was about 15. Then suddenly my group of friends started having parties, and we got drunk, pulled each other... it all seemed so easy and nothing to worry about. I've pulled quite a few guys, dated a couple, technically had 1 boyf but I actually dumped him before anything remotely serious happened [very recently] because I realised I just don't want a boyfriend, brad pitt [or someone even more gorgeous] could ask me out and I'd say no. :cool:

Seriously, don't worry about it :hugs:

Reply 16

Amlea

1

Stay Positve...

Reply 17

naelse

15

of course I'm right :wink:

At school I was one of those annoying girls who always had a boyfriend and probably made everyone else feel innadequate about it (not on purpose!) but the truth is that I was just in a long string of abusive relationships and was too scared of being on my own to ever really think about whether I particularly wanted to be with the guy in question. This time last year I sat back and really thought about it and decided to take that risk of being lonely and just allow myself to be single for a while. All that time of not actively looking for a boyfriend let me see what was out there, experiment with more casual relationships and work out what I really wanted. And when I met peter a few months later I knew I was ready to be in a relationship because he was exactly what I wanted and I didn't want to not be with him. For the first time I wasn't with someone just for the sake of it and I felt incredibly liberated.

I think as girls we see all these images of female passivity in relationships: the guy asks the girl to marry him, and of course the girl says yes etc, that we forget the power that we have ourselves. We're all beautiful and intelligent and worthy of anything we want. We don't need to be with a guy to be complete.
/feminist rant

Reply 18

Freckles

12

Yeah, stay positive. If you're open for an relationship, you will have one sooner or later. You can't force it and I'm sure you don't want one of these things were ppl are together just for the sake of being in a relationship.

Reply 19

thunderstorm

1

being in a relationship that you dont want to really be in or are in for the wrong reasons is worse than being single. i think often its a case of the grass is always greener on the other side- we always want what we dont have!

Ever felt like you'll never get a boyfriend?

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