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Too absorbed into exam prep. Watch

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    I sort of sense that when things are going good with revsion, I drop all my socail skills.

    I'm not good with people anyway. But normally I manage to convey sympathy and say hello and bye. And hugging my mum and smile.

    But when doing those things I can't seem to concentrate on my work.

    This past week.It swapped.Works being really good. But I can't be bothered with people, sympathy= zero kinda thing. I can't be bothered saying hi and smiling and the usual stuff.I like it like that but the problem is my mum really needs me as in emotionally because she has like no support whatsoever and lots of worries. What's more when I'm like that she thinks I'm falling into depression.So its an added worry.

    Sometimes the fear that I become a drone makes me procrastinate.

    I don't know how to balance things. I find the socail stuff much more difficult than my work. but theres no way to organise when you say "hello how are you ?" for example.

    So, I was wondering if anyone has any ideas about how I could balance this.

    If your going to say something that's not useful or relvent to my request please don't say it.:confused:
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    i wouldn't say it's that uncommon tbh - when you're in the studying zone, you're focused and can't be bothered with the riff raff of socialising

    i've no idea on how you can balance your social and work life tbh, i'm very much all or nothing myself. i would say maybe set aside a day a week for you to socialise?

    another thing is to possibly try and remind yourself to chill a bit, even whilst studying. the more serious you are and stressy, the heavier life weighs on your shoulders. sit with your mum for breaks maybe, chat a bit, get back to work.. i tend to jump from the kitchen to the living room working and keeping my mum company during the holidays/weekends, waheyyy
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    Around the time I have assignments due in, I stop texting/phoning my boyfriend altogether. Not consiously, but I just don't think to do it. It's like you live two lives- a studious life and a social life.. can't seem to get the balance right between the two! But never mind, I'm happy.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      I sort of sense that when things are going good with revsion, I drop all my socail skills.

      I'm not good with people anyway. But normally I manage to convey sympathy and say hello and bye. And hugging my mum and smile.

      But when doing those things I can't seem to concentrate on my work.

      This past week.It swapped.Works being really good. But I can't be bothered with people, sympathy= zero kinda thing. I can't be bothered saying hi and smiling and the usual stuff.I like it like that but the problem is my mum really needs me as in emotionally because she has like no support whatsoever and lots of worries. What's more when I'm like that she thinks I'm falling into depression.So its an added worry.

      Sometimes the fear that I become a drone makes me procrastinate.

      I don't know how to balance things. I find the socail stuff much more difficult than my work. but theres no way to organise when you say "hello how are you ?" for example.

      So, I was wondering if anyone has any ideas about how I could balance this.

      If your going to say something that's not useful or relvent to my request please don't say it.:confused:
      I'm kind of like you. I find it hard to balance so what I do is just focus on one aspect as opposed to doing both at the same time (which I find virtually impossible!)
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      I sort of sense that when things are going good with revsion, I drop all my socail skills.

      I'm not good with people anyway. But normally I manage to convey sympathy and say hello and bye. And hugging my mum and smile.

      But when doing those things I can't seem to concentrate on my work.

      This past week.It swapped.Works being really good. But I can't be bothered with people, sympathy= zero kinda thing. I can't be bothered saying hi and smiling and the usual stuff.I like it like that but the problem is my mum really needs me as in emotionally because she has like no support whatsoever and lots of worries. What's more when I'm like that she thinks I'm falling into depression.So its an added worry.

      Sometimes the fear that I become a drone makes me procrastinate.

      I don't know how to balance things. I find the socail stuff much more difficult than my work. but theres no way to organise when you say "hello how are you ?" for example.

      So, I was wondering if anyone has any ideas about how I could balance this.

      If your going to say something that's not useful or relvent to my request please don't say it.:confused:
      It's good that you have the self-discipline and focus to do your revision as that's something a lot of people struggle with, it's usually the opposite i.e. people have no problem socialising but struggle to work.

      It is worrying though that you seem to be completely sacraficing your social skills for work; like you say-you need to find a balance. You can have the best grades in the world and a PHD but if you don't have basic social skills you won't progress very far, as to get a job you ultimately need to persuade another person to employ you and then you will have colleagues you will need to work alongside and co-operate with-all requiring social skills.

      Perhaps it's an identity problem i.e. you have identified being a loner and not socialising as being a requirement for academic success. This obviously isn't true as there are plenty of sociable people out there who have achieved academic success.

      You say you are not good with people and that you struggle with the social side more than the academic side. The question is, how do I become good with people? how do you become good at anything? you practice. It's the same principle you apply to your academic life. You study and you practice. I was very shy when I was younger but I started practicing, I volunteered and worked in retail environments where I was forced to interact with customers and to develop my confidence. I even worked at Walt Disney World and they have high standards of guest service and generally employ outgoing people and I'm quite introverted so that took me out of my comfort zone a lot.

      In terms of study, I read 'how to win friends and influence people' by Dale Carnegie, a very famous self-help book which has sold millions of copies and inspired the billionaire Warren Buffett amongst others. You can read the principles of the book for free in the wikipedia article relating to the book but it's no compensation for reading the book itself. The more you practice, the better you become.
     
     
     
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