I hate myself and my life so much

I've just totally messed up my life, I went to university last year and dropped out in January , I then spent 6 months on the dole, my job search was hopeless I applied for the total wrong jobs which I had no real chance of getting and became totally disenfranchised and just hid away from the world. I went to another university in September but my attendence has been sporadic and I've got exams that I'm probably going to fail. I'm 20 years old I've never had a job or a girlfriend I feel totally useless. I have very few friends or interests and there is absolutely nothing in my life and there's never going to be, I don't feel like I have any purpose in life and that if I died tomorrow then it wouldn't make a jot of difference to the world.

I hate my life so much and sometimes question whether I should just end it.

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Same. I can 100% relate to what you're saying. I found my problems lay with my family... They were messed up. The best thing I ever did was get my own flat and get a job to support myself. See your future as being independent of your family. The people around you are holding you back. Your future looks bleak because you believe they will be in it.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

I'm doing geography which is the same course that I did last year. My attendance is bad because there are somedays where I just lack the motivation to get out of bed and to go to university

Reply 3

Roo Bix

11

Maybe you just need to open your perspective a bit more, taking an interest in something else. Usually, doing so allows you to find talents that you never found before.

Reply 4

XShmalX

1

Original post by Anonymous

I've just totally messed up my life, I went to university last year and dropped out in January , I then spent 6 months on the dole, my job search was hopeless I applied for the total wrong jobs which I had no real chance of getting and became totally disenfranchised and just hid away from the world. I went to another university in September but my attendence has been sporadic and I've got exams that I'm probably going to fail. I'm 20 years old I've never had a job or a girlfriend I feel totally useless. I have very few friends or interests and there is absolutely nothing in my life and there's never going to be, I don't feel like I have any purpose in life and that if I died tomorrow then it wouldn't make a jot of difference to the world.

I hate my life so much and sometimes question whether I should just end it.

You're only 20 so have you're whole life ahead of you and so much still to give/do!! I'd suggest you sit down and really think about what you want in life and where you want to end and then explore your options before rushing into something! There's lots of people out their who can help you! You're life may not feel worth living and trust me I know how awful that feels but its about choosing to live and taking responsibly for your life. I hope things get better for you!! :hugs:

Reply 5

arabie

10

it's times like this where doing what you really want to do - what your heart REALLY DESIRES - is justifiable

unless that strong desire is to kill people.. then i would encourage seeking professional help

in fact, professional help ain't a bad idea anyway.. tried it?

Reply 6

TheSadReaper

get a 360/ps3/pc then you can do well in the games and feel better about yourself.

hang in there man, everyone, in some part of their life will want to die, just grit your teeth and just keep thinking that the better days are coming.

try socialising a bit more?

Reply 7

professortobe

13

Sounds pretty bad but hey ur only 20, uve still got a long life ahead of u and u still have the chance 2 make something of ur life. If geography aint ur thing try brainstorming and coming up with something else. Sounds like ur stuck in a rut and u not gonna get out of it if u dont make some changes fast and think wot u really wanna do with the next 60 years or so of ur life.
Suicide is not necessarily gonna solve ur probs, dunno wot ur beliefs are about afterlife etc but noone really knows wot happens 2 dead ppl so chances are its not worth the risk. Just make the most of ur time on this earth while it lasts.
Cheer up

Reply 8

History-Student

16

You are worried about dying without affecting the world, and your solution is to kill yourself? This could just be me, but that sounds retarded.

Go get as much cash as you can afford and give it to a homeless guy tomorrow (it's cold out, they need it). This will give you an enormous sense of satisfaction and will motivate you because you've made someone's life better.

Then get your lazy arse to a library and study to pass your exams. Sitting posting here is hardly going to help your life, is it?

Reply 9

High As A Kite

11

"there are somedays where I just lack the motivation to get out of bed and to go to university" - Why? are you just lazy? if so, its time to get your arse in gear. maybe join a gym or change your diet. Go meet new people, do what ever interests you and break your habit.

Reply 10

Law123mus

11

God damn you should be ashamed, I'm 19 and I've already saved the world twice and been into space!!!

Honestly mate lets put things into perspective. You're 20, hardly anyone has achieved anything by that age.

Reply 11

Insiya

Original post by Anonymous

I'm doing geography which is the same course that I did last year. My attendance is bad because there are somedays where I just lack the motivation to get out of bed and to go to university

Frankly speaking, I think you are lazy and not demotivated.

I have a friend who is 100% lazy. She skips school days and doesn't study even when she has got Einstein brains.

Be a little more responsible and try getting atleast the minimum attendance.

Being 20 isnt toooo late. Its just the beginning. Get self-confidence dug in you and I guess you'll be a better person and your life will be a better one too.

Reply 12

bluebell100

8

Original post by Anonymous

I've just totally messed up my life, I went to university last year and dropped out in January , I then spent 6 months on the dole, my job search was hopeless I applied for the total wrong jobs which I had no real chance of getting and became totally disenfranchised and just hid away from the world. I went to another university in September but my attendence has been sporadic and I've got exams that I'm probably going to fail. I'm 20 years old I've never had a job or a girlfriend I feel totally useless. I have very few friends or interests and there is absolutely nothing in my life and there's never going to be, I don't feel like I have any purpose in life and that if I died tomorrow then it wouldn't make a jot of difference to the world.

I hate my life so much and sometimes question whether I should just end it.

"Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything good in the world." - Helen Keller (a blind, deaf and mute woman)

"Verily the creation of each one of you is brought together in his mother's belly for forty days in the form of seed, then he is a clot of blood for a like period, then a morsel of flesh for a like period, then there is sent to him the angel who blows the breath of life into him and who is commanded about four matters: to write down his means of livelihood, his life span, his actions, and whether happy or unhappy. By Allah, other than Whom there is no god, verily one of you behaves like the people of Paradise until there is but an arm's length between him and it, and that which has been written over takes him and so he behaves like the people of Hell-fire and thus he enters it; and one of you behaves like the people of Hell-fire until there is but an arm's length between him and it, and that which has been written over takes him and so he behaves like the people of Paradise and thus he enters it." - Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)

Chin up!

Reply 13

IndigoRockGirl

11

Original post by Anonymous

I've just totally messed up my life, I went to university last year and dropped out in January , I then spent 6 months on the dole, my job search was hopeless I applied for the total wrong jobs which I had no real chance of getting and became totally disenfranchised and just hid away from the world. I went to another university in September but my attendence has been sporadic and I've got exams that I'm probably going to fail. I'm 20 years old I've never had a job or a girlfriend I feel totally useless. I have very few friends or interests and there is absolutely nothing in my life and there's never going to be, I don't feel like I have any purpose in life and that if I died tomorrow then it wouldn't make a jot of difference to the world.

I hate my life so much and sometimes question whether I should just end it.

Ok, I strongly suggest you see a counsellor or a psychologist, and work out all of these issues, and why don't you get back into university again? x

Reply 14

screenager2004

14

Question: are you in a position to change your situation?
> if yes: Why aren't you doing something about it.
> if no: then it's not your fault, don't be down, it's out of your control.

Reply 15

Anonymous #3

nooooooooo don't kill yourself!

Reply 16

Gavzzz

12

You are only 20 years old!!! Just decide what you want to be in 10 years time and then figure out how you are going to get there, then DO NOT GIVE UP until you get there.

Reply 17

TheFlyingDutchman

7

I think the main point has been made. You are only 20.

How can you have messed up your whole life by 20 ? Hell I would argue up to the age of 10 your life is in your parents hands.

I mean do some research on how many millionaires were nobodies in there 20's.

I think you need a spark. Something to really motivate you. I suggest you do what you can to find that. Whether it be something in life that really excites you or maybe even someone ?

I know what it's like to be at a standstill in life and even though I never felt that bad. Things weren't great. I'm sure you wont but don't end it. Take a chance on life, in the next 40 or so years you never know what it will throw at you.

Reply 18

ilyking

go watch a movie, enjoy yourself. Who cares if it's on your own, take some of the crapness out so you have more time to think it over.

Can't get out of bed? Lazy! :wink:

to be fair we're all like that, just try to push yourself.

I have math tuition tomorrow in the morning and it's the Christmas holidays, and I also have maths tuition from 9 till 7 everyday next week. You don't see me complaining

Reply 19

TheSmithsIndeed

14

Original post by High As A Kite

"there are somedays where I just lack the motivation to get out of bed and to go to university" - Why? are you just lazy? if so, its time to get your arse in gear. maybe join a gym or change your diet. Go meet new people, do what ever interests you and break your habit.

Actually, this can be a sign of depression...

I hate myself and my life so much

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