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    Intelligence and ability wise, I was ahead of other people by many years throughout school, but in a lot of other ways, I feel like I'm constantly several years behind other people. Socially, I suppose.

    Things like, in primary school I played playground games for longer than a lot of my classmates. I had no interest in drinking when I was a teenager (and still don't), when other people learnt to drive at seventeen I felt unready and am only just coming around to it aged twenty. I didn't feel ready or the desire to move out on my home aged just eighteen, and still don't. I had no interest in dating and that's something only just starting to come out, although my asexuality may have complicated that.

    I've been told I'm a mature person - I have a developed speech that I can adapt easily, I do a professional degree and used to work in a professional environment and in both people commend(ed) me on my attitude and manner, that sort of thing. I just feel I am a lot of years behind my peers in quite a few ways.

    I don't really know what I'm hoping to get from this post... I suppose reassurance this is normal, that even beyond teenage years people still develop at different rates, or if not advice on how to change it.
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    I've thought the same thing (although I can't relate to being ahead at school). I don't have any advice, I just wanted to let you know that there is at least one other person who feels similar.

    The problem for me is that I now know there is all that stuff out there and I want to experience it ASAP but it's probably going to take time to do all of the things I want do, if you know what I mean.
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    I feel like that as well. I lost my virginity later than my friends, haven't had a proper girlfriend, I treated college like school and failed badly, everyone else went off to uni and I had no quaifications. Started shaving late. But I've started to feel like I'm changing everyday, some people are just slow I guess.
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    (Original post by Fandabidoze!)
    I've thought the same thing (although I can't relate to being ahead at school). I don't have any advice, I just wanted to let you know that there is at least one other person who feels similar.

    The problem for me is that I now know there is all that stuff out there and I want to experience it ASAP but it's probably going to take time to do all of the things I want do, if you know what I mean.
    Company's nice too.

    I think there are some things I'll probably never catch up on, like the drinking (because as much as that's part of this, it's also influenced by my alcoholic family) ... but others that I'm just coming round to, I feel a pressure to do now, which sounds similar to you.

    How do you deal with that feeling?
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    I wouldn't worry about it if, as you say, you are developing "normally".. you'll always get some people who are a little slower at maturing in some ways, but faster in other ways.. no two people are the same. Just play to your strengths!
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    Seriously don't worry about it, basically you're bucking the trend of being a drunken youth. Some people never drink...thats a good things, if you can do it with all the peer pressure etc credit to you. If you don't like going out...everyones different. It is not the case that literally everyone goes out. To be honest I'm so sick of the majority of people succumbing to the whole larger lout fb whore, that its refreshing when someones different.
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    Get some real friends who'll help you grow as a person. Who'll allow you to experience at your own pace and who won't judge you too much.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Intelligence and ability wise, I was ahead of other people by many years throughout school, but in a lot of other ways, I feel like I'm constantly several years behind other people. Socially, I suppose.

    Things like, in primary school I played playground games for longer than a lot of my classmates. I had no interest in drinking when I was a teenager (and still don't), when other people learnt to drive at seventeen I felt unready and am only just coming around to it aged twenty. I didn't feel ready or the desire to move out on my home aged just eighteen, and still don't. I had no interest in dating and that's something only just starting to come out, although my asexuality may have complicated that.

    I've been told I'm a mature person - I have a developed speech that I can adapt easily, I do a professional degree and used to work in a professional environment and in both people commend(ed) me on my attitude and manner, that sort of thing. I just feel I am a lot of years behind my peers in quite a few ways.

    I don't really know what I'm hoping to get from this post... I suppose reassurance this is normal, that even beyond teenage years people still develop at different rates, or if not advice on how to change it.

    think over your life
    if you drank - woud' have got drunk, maybe got arrested, damadged your liver, got a girl drunk?
    if you left home - but why? because society accepts it? you love your parents, spend time with them, cherish your time with them
    they looked after you when you were a defenceless baby, and you want to leave them just like that
    you sound like a very good person
    think over it.
    trust me.
    you have as blessed life
    most people or a majority on tsr will advise you tempting things that will damadge your life
    i am not saying what i think is true
    but don't be under the influence of anyone,
    if you don't wish to take any of my advise
    than do one thing,
    be a free human
    think for your own self
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    That's what happens when you **** with time travel
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    (Original post by Ebony19)
    Seriously don't worry about it, basically you're bucking the trend of being a drunken youth. Some people never drink...thats a good things, if you can do it with all the peer pressure etc credit to you. If you don't like going out...everyones different. It is not the case that literally everyone goes out. To be honest I'm so sick of the majority of people succumbing to the whole larger lout fb whore, that its refreshing when someones different.
    This.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Intelligence and ability wise, I was ahead of other people by many years throughout school, but in a lot of other ways, I feel like I'm constantly several years behind other people. Socially, I suppose.

    Things like, in primary school I played playground games for longer than a lot of my classmates. I had no interest in drinking when I was a teenager (and still don't), when other people learnt to drive at seventeen I felt unready and am only just coming around to it aged twenty. I didn't feel ready or the desire to move out on my home aged just eighteen, and still don't. I had no interest in dating and that's something only just starting to come out, although my asexuality may have complicated that.

    I've been told I'm a mature person - I have a developed speech that I can adapt easily, I do a professional degree and used to work in a professional environment and in both people commend(ed) me on my attitude and manner, that sort of thing. I just feel I am a lot of years behind my peers in quite a few ways.

    I don't really know what I'm hoping to get from this post... I suppose reassurance this is normal, that even beyond teenage years people still develop at different rates, or if not advice on how to change it.
    I must say I find this somewhat intriguing; you have nothing to worry about my friend. In fact I would go so far to say in some respects you are doing better than average. Alcohol sucks, there is no need for it and I ask you to typically look at the actions of the average drinker at your age (or rather the age you feel is lagging – 18)

    Perhaps, it appears you are a little shy; there is nothing wrong in that. I wonder what degree you are studying as if it is academic you will find yourself in a pretty good job soon, and moving forward with your life at a quicker pace than those fiends you felt you once lagged behind.
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    LOL you sound like my grandad when it comes to understanding the newest types of technology
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    I don't expect you to read this all now, but if you can read one or two, it will fulfill it's purpose


    Features
    People tend to look at alcohol in an acceptable fashion but the fact is that alcohol is a drug albeit a legal drug. It is an addictive drug that people use and abuse every day. People consume alcohol for various reasons, such as to relieve stress, escape from problems or to fit in at social situations. Teenagers may start drinking due to peer pressure. Others drink because they are addicted.
    Function
    Alcohol increases the risk of various health conditions, such as heart and liver disease. Alcohol works directly on the central nervous system, impairing brain function. Over time, excessive alcohol consumption can destroy brain cells, resulting in various degrees of brain damage.
    Effects
    Alcohol affects the way people behave. For instance, some people become more violent. This can lead to an increase in crime. People experience a decrease in mental alertness when drinking alcohol and may make poor decisions. Alcohol dulls the senses and alters one's perception of situations and surroundings. Alcohol also affects memory.
    Considerations
    Alcohol often causes people to shed their inhibitions. This can lead to more promiscuous behavior. People may have multiple sex partners, which can lead to an increased risk of sexually transmitted diseases. Women who become pregnant can transmit diseases to their unborn children. Women who drink alcohol when pregnant may have babies born with birth defects due to fetal alcohol syndrome.
    Significance
    People who drink alcohol and drive risk their own lives and the lives of other people. People who drive under the influence of alcohol are not capable of driving with their full mental and physical faculties intact. Alcohol impairs coordination, motor skills and judgment. A person who has consumed even a small amount of alcohol will have slower reflexes and reaction time than one who has not consumed any alcohol. Many lives are lost each year due to drunk drivers.
    Potential
    People often suffer physical injuries after consuming too much alcohol. The decrease in coordination and mental alertness can cause staggering, swaying and double vision, which may lead to falls and other injuries. Loss of consciousness can lead to head injuries and other serious conditions. Loss of consciousness due to excessive alcohol consumption may also occur when a person is driving, which ultimately leads to an accident.
    Warning
    Alcohol can cause problems in a person's family life and work situation. People who suffer from alcoholism may have difficulty retaining a job. Friendships and romantic relationships can suffer due to excessive drinking. Family relationships can become strained. Children of alcoholic parents often suffer from low self-esteem and emotional disorders such as anxiety.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Company's nice too.

    I think there are some things I'll probably never catch up on, like the drinking (because as much as that's part of this, it's also influenced by my alcoholic family) ... but others that I'm just coming round to, I feel a pressure to do now, which sounds similar to you.

    How do you deal with that feeling?
    I can relate to the "things I'll never catch up on" but they're really quite silly. For example, I always wanted to have a teenage romance when I was younger, say between the ages 11-14, now I'm nearly 16, it's obviously isn't going to happen. I wanted one because you hear a lot of adults talking fondly about the times they spent with their "childhood sweetheart" and I don't know, it just seems like a cool memory to have.

    I deal with that feeling by continously telling myself I can't do anything about it now and that there was nothing I could do about it at the time. I couldn't make myself attracted to girls then so how on earth could I get into a relationship with one?

    For the things I can still do, well I plan to do them basically. For example, I've never been to a house party, I'm not sure they're my thing but I want to try it at least once. There's nothing stopping me from going to a house party in the future, however right now I have no-one to invite me to one.

    Regarding the alcohol, I don't drink for the same reasons as you (alkie family) and I don't plan to. I don't see the problem with not drinking, you can still have fun on a night-out (although you may be deemed the designated driver). But, if you really want to try drinking, what else is stopping you? You can get cheap booze from most supermarkets these days. I'm not advocating getting completely wasted, I'm just trying to show you how easy it is to do so.
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    (Original post by Fandabidoze!)
    I can relate to the "things I'll never catch up on" but they're really quite silly. For example, I always wanted to have a teenage romance when I was younger, say between the ages 11-14, now I'm nearly 16, it's obviously isn't going to happen. I wanted one because you hear a lot of adults talking fondly about the times they spent with their "childhood sweetheart" and I don't know, it just seems like a cool memory to have.

    I deal with that feeling by continously telling myself I can't do anything about it now and that there was nothing I could do about it at the time. I couldn't make myself attracted to girls then so how on earth could I get into a relationship with one?

    For the things I can still do, well I plan to do them basically. For example, I've never been to a house party, I'm not sure they're my thing but I want to try it at least once. There's nothing stopping me from going to a house party in the future, however right now I have no-one to invite me to one.

    Regarding the alcohol, I don't drink for the same reasons as you (alkie family) and I don't plan to. I don't see the problem with not drinking, you can still have fun on a night-out (although you may be deemed the designated driver). But, if you really want to try drinking, what else is stopping you? You can get cheap booze from most supermarkets these days. I'm not advocating getting completely wasted, I'm just trying to show you how easy it is to do so.
    I would regard 16 17 and even 18 as a teenage romance, I wouldnt know what to do with a girl at 11 :| haha.

    To be honest they really are, as you always have to go somewhere or sneak around, theres no "Wanna come back to my place " lol
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    (Original post by midnightL)
    I would regard 16 17 and even 18 as a teenage romance, I wouldnt know what to do with a girl at 11 :| haha.

    To be honest they really are, as you always have to go somewhere or sneak around, theres no "Wanna come back to my place " lol
    There's hope yet lol! Seriously though, I was the same, clueless about girls (I still haven't had any personal experience with them but I've learnt some things over the years) at 11 or around that age but I'm jealous of the guys that weren't.
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    I felt the same way! Though I do feel I've caught up now lol.
    It doesn't really matter, a couple of years either way.
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    (Original post by sixthformer)
    I don't expect you to read this all now, but if you can read one or two, it will fulfill it's purpose


    Features
    People tend to look at alcohol in an acceptable fashion but the fact is that alcohol is a drug albeit a legal drug. It is an addictive drug that people use and abuse every day. People consume alcohol for various reasons, such as to relieve stress, escape from problems or to fit in at social situations. Teenagers may start drinking due to peer pressure. Others drink because they are addicted.
    Function
    Alcohol increases the risk of various health conditions, such as heart and liver disease. Alcohol works directly on the central nervous system, impairing brain function. Over time, excessive alcohol consumption can destroy brain cells, resulting in various degrees of brain damage.
    Effects
    Alcohol affects the way people behave. For instance, some people become more violent. This can lead to an increase in crime. People experience a decrease in mental alertness when drinking alcohol and may make poor decisions. Alcohol dulls the senses and alters one's perception of situations and surroundings. Alcohol also affects memory.
    Considerations
    Alcohol often causes people to shed their inhibitions. This can lead to more promiscuous behavior. People may have multiple sex partners, which can lead to an increased risk of sexually transmitted diseases. Women who become pregnant can transmit diseases to their unborn children. Women who drink alcohol when pregnant may have babies born with birth defects due to fetal alcohol syndrome.
    Significance
    People who drink alcohol and drive risk their own lives and the lives of other people. People who drive under the influence of alcohol are not capable of driving with their full mental and physical faculties intact. Alcohol impairs coordination, motor skills and judgment. A person who has consumed even a small amount of alcohol will have slower reflexes and reaction time than one who has not consumed any alcohol. Many lives are lost each year due to drunk drivers.
    Potential
    People often suffer physical injuries after consuming too much alcohol. The decrease in coordination and mental alertness can cause staggering, swaying and double vision, which may lead to falls and other injuries. Loss of consciousness can lead to head injuries and other serious conditions. Loss of consciousness due to excessive alcohol consumption may also occur when a person is driving, which ultimately leads to an accident.
    Warning
    Alcohol can cause problems in a person's family life and work situation. People who suffer from alcoholism may have difficulty retaining a job. Friendships and romantic relationships can suffer due to excessive drinking. Family relationships can become strained. Children of alcoholic parents often suffer from low self-esteem and emotional disorders such as anxiety.
    Whilst all of this is true, these are complete extremes that, quite frankly, seem unrelated to the initial post. Are you on a mission to make the UK dry or something? I mean yes RTAs due to inebriation and foetal alcohol syndrome (Wernicke-Korsakoff et al) are distressing, but why mention them here? I hardly think the OP is at serious risk of becoming an alcoholic...infact quite the opposite!

    All I have to say on this is...I'm hungover today and you're quite possibly not, OP. My neck hurts and yours probably doesn't. I haven't eaten much today because food is the last thing I feel like, and you've probably eaten quite heartily. Those are good things
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    I dont like to drink either...alcohol tastes bitter and I dont want to get drunk.. I dont have a lot of friends because I like to have a few close friends who have similar interests to me. I also like staying at home and feel somewhat scared if I were to go to uni because I wouldnt have them around (since I'll be going to a different country in that case). I also feel that I am not completely ready when it comes to driving but am trying my best right now, taking some time off now with the snow... Dont worry if u are comfortable with who u are then dont wait for the "growing up" part or catching up with others...we're all different on this planet some sticking out of the crowd more than others. Just remember u're not alone
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    hmm that's interesting, I always felt as though I should have been born about 15 years earlier lol x
    People mature in different ways at different rates, I wouldn't worry x
 
 
 
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