Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Do you hate your life as much as I hate mine?

Usually I'm not conscious of it. I just don't think about it, and just get on with things as they come. Every so often, though, I do think to myself and I realise that I actually hate my life. I really do abhor my existence. There's nothing about it that redeems any sense of happiness. I used to be a very happy-go-lucky person, but have, in the last few years, descended and transformed into someone whose mood is a very stable, monotonous, one-levelled one. I am never excited about anything, nothing makes me happy; there's nothing I genuinely enjoy. Everything, and I truly mean everything, I do that I don't hate, I 'bear'.

I hate how I've conducted my life thus far - despite having 10 GCSEs, and A Levels, I have screwed up my education beyond belief, and set myself up so I won't fit in at University and will waste the next two years of my life. I feel so stupid that I have to work full time whilst studying for two more A Levels through distance learning just to get into a mediocre University, and to follow peers into something that for them has been so effortless.

I foresee my own deathbed, if I'm lucky - or perhaps unlucky - enough to go that way, and I know I will resent my life and there will be no 'highlights'. It will be just one level plain of uneventful incidences.

Does anyone else feel like this?

Reply 1

Koobideh

I think the problem is you are a man and men keep their feelings bottled up inside, and all that does is make things worse. I don't know if you have good friends or anyone you're close to, but it's good if you talk with them about your feelings, or even allow yourself to cry with them. You can also get a psychiatrist if you really need it, because it seems as if you might have some kind of mental issue, judging by what you're saying like you have no interests.

You might have a negative outlook on life, but try to remain positive. Or do something wild like go on some roller coaster and it will make you happy.

Reply 2

The Patriot

At the age of 19 maximum gour gormones haven't calmed down yet so a lor of your angst may be due to that.

Secondly since your not even 20 yet (i presume) it's a bit early to judge the rest of your life. You have plenty left to live and enjoy.

Thirdly you described me pretty much. I however have a different perspective. I too am an introvert, but I don't see that as a problem. It has advantages. Firstly it's harder to get dissapointed as well as tue fact your less emotionally compromised. Add that to the faft your judging your own life by that of your friends which is a bad idea. Follow your own path.

A quote (i forget who by). "those who follow the path of others will find it never-ending"

just see where life takes you dude. When one door closes another opens.

Reply 3

Fire_eyed_boy

I can relate, I completley hit a new level of apathy over the summer. But all it really takes is some reminding that the rest of your life has alot more to give yet. You've underestimated how much you can still change about the state of your life.