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Why did she feel the need to lie about Masturbation - and why is she now continuing??

FIRSTLY - I DON'T CARE IF SHE MASTURBATED, I CARE THAT SHE HAS LIED TO ME (SMALL BUT ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS). READ PAGE 2 FOR THE FULL STORY ABOUT OTHER STUFF SHE LIED ABOUT, THEN TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO - DO NOT PRE-JUDGE, THE FULL STORY IS NOT IN THE OP!

Well, she basically told me she's never masturbated, i've fingered her, but her never herself. So at this point I blatantly knew this was bull****, we've been together a year, it's a 6 hour LDR and I admitted to doing it myself, but she claimed it was 'weird' and has never done it.

Fair enough, I guess. She is Muslim afterall; the type who gives blowjobs, but apparently doesn't masturbate. :facepalm2:

Anyway, today she admitted to masturbating (well no kidding sherlock :facepalm:

) and now is randomly changing her story, after telling me for a whole year she never has, that 'she told me she does, but infrequently' - tbh, I don't even know where this came from like?

:confused:

So, though, I should be happy - 'yay, she rubs, means she's more sexually active, we'll have more and more sex and life will be good', but i'm not... because she lied.

Worst thing is, I just got over another 'small lie' and now i've been hit by another one. All that trust I built up, all that time it took to get over my paranoia, and now it's all back. Wtf was the point? AND SHE'S STILL NOT ADMITTING IT... :|

I said (quite confidently), "i'll end this relationship or just kill myself, if i'm lying" but she's contuining to deny it when it's blatantly true...

She text me about 5-6 texts in a row saying I don't do it, then like 3-4 I do, then ever since I do, but infrequently, I mean wtf?

What is the point lying to me? She's hurting me, making me trust her less and less, and tbh, i'm just guna walk. So many times i've just said in a mature manner, admit it, we'll get past this and start the new year a lie-free one. And she still won't...

3-4 months of my life, were spent not sleeping, eating, not trusting fully, having bad dreams and thoughts about her cheating, using, really bad basically, and now all of that is going to come back.

fml :|

I don't get why she can't just admit it? I mean I want to start the new year lie-free, let's just be happy together, and forget the past... but what's the need in not telling me? It's not even a bad thing to admit. :s-smilie:

I told her, she can either admit it now, and i'll just believe her that she hasn't lied about other things including cheated on me and we'll be normal, or she can carry on denying it, i'll not sleep, become more paranoid, interrogate her continuously, about other stuff too, and then she'll admit it and make both of our lives and our relationship a misery.

Sigh - i'm actually beginning to have more and more sympathy for 'innocent/good' boyfriends who end up cheating. Ofcourse it's still wrong and they're idiots for doing it, but when a girl acts like the above and worse and then begs and pleads for him not to leave her, wtf is he meant to do?

Just now she text me saying "I have told you, I do but infrequently" and I kept saying no you haven't, because she hasn't and has changed her story, and said you probably told somebody else, but not me to which she replied "I have". I honestly hope to God that she doesn't mean she's been discussing it with other guys but not me, because she's a vile ****ing **** and after everything i've done for her, lol this would just be the ultimate slap in the face.

Atm, I actually have no idea if she's cheated on me or not, but if she has, I couldn't give a **** if her or the guy contracted HIV and the guy got hit by a truck and was hospitalised for 6 months - i'm just so ****ing pissed off and though, I used to be normal, my anger has got worse and worse.

Love is a stupid thing - wish I didn't fall into it, wish I had never kissed a girl, let alone anything further, and though I thought i'd never say this - I wish I saved everything until marriage...

ffs. dunno whether to cry, sigh or die right now. :frown:

tl;dr version - girlfriend lied, it's a small lie, not the first, i'm losing trust, it's making me angry, she won't admit it, i just want her to... how do i make this happen?

(edited 14 years ago)

Reply 1

concubine

17

I gave up about a third of the way in but still, luls.

Reply 2

TheCurlyHairedDude

3

Lol just to let you know, you can't change your username to the thread topic.

Reply 3

Jenii

15

You sound like you're overreacting. First, calm down. She probably lied out of personal embarrassment- not to hurt you or anything like that. I don't think it should change the level of trust in the relationship.

Reply 4

drdre

muslims only masturbate when it come to the real thing-true story

Reply 5

>Anna<

15

She lied about masturbating because she was embarrassed; it's a pretty taboo topic for most girls and most of us aren't used to talking about it openly.

Just because she's lied about that doesn't mean she's cheating on you or even lied about anything else. You're taking it too seriously/personally, in my opinion.

Reply 6

TheSownRose

16

So she was ashamed about masturbating - not unfairly, and it's not the end of the world.

Reply 7

Enoch.

16

Never seen 3 facepalms in one post.

Reply 8

Inversion

2

Saw Muslim and stopped reading, you can't seriously expect her to be rational about sex?

Reply 9

HumanNature1992

13

That's alot of text :eek:

Man up.

Because it's embarrassing to admit that, if you're a girl.
I've lied about it to guys countless times.

But, lying about masturbation, what's the big deal? It's not really an issue, is it?

Reply 12

Mithra

2

Question 1: Who the hell cares?
Question 2: No I think that about sums it up.

Reply 13

kellybee

9

Woh. Chill. Seriously.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

Some girls masturbate sometimes, but won't answer that as a "yes" to "do you masturbate (regularely)". Some feel it's more awkward for girls to do it than guys (maybe she feels guilty if she is Muslim, I don't know).

Personally I also say no, because we don't have that freqwuent, weekly need to masturbate. It doesn't mean she doesn't miss you in bed etc etc. Don't get mad at her, she might just be a bit embarrassed or ashamed.

Reply 15

OneYearLDR

OP

To all the girls, yeah I understand why you would lie about it to random guys...

But to your own boyfriend? Who's been inside your vagina like a million times?

And it's not the masturbation I care about - like I said i'm happy she does, but the lie, and others she's previously told me (which ruined my life for almost half a year)... are just going to re-appear and make me feel like ****.

Meh, i'm just dumping her tbh, **** it, i've had enough.

Reply 16

Katq

8

Ah OP, chill. She's changing her story because she's now telling the truth. Accept it. Stop nagging her about it.

Original post by ktlaurenroe

Because it's embarrassing to admit that, if you're a girl.
I've lied about it to guys countless times.

But, lying about masturbation, what's the big deal? It's not really an issue, is it?

EXACTOMUNDO ^

Reply 17

SuperKell

That's a lot of text for very little sex.

Reply 18

>Anna<

15

Original post by OneYearLDR

To all the girls, yeah I understand why you would lie about it to random guys...

But to your own boyfriend? Who's been inside your vagina like a million times?

And it's not the masturbation I care about - like I said i'm happy she does, but the lie, and others she's previously told me (which ruined my life for almost half a year)... are just going to re-appear and make me feel like ****.

Meh, i'm just dumping her tbh, **** it, i've had enough.

Yes, even to our own boyfriends sometimes. We're just not used to talking about it.

If you're wound up about the masturbation thing, you're seriously over-reacting.

Reply 19

Gemma2010

Original post by OneYearLDR

To all the girls, yeah I understand why you would lie about it to random guys...

But to your own boyfriend? Who's been inside your vagina like a million times?

And it's not the masturbation I care about - like I said i'm happy she does, but the lie, and others she's previously told me (which ruined my life for almost half a year)... are just going to re-appear and make me feel like ****.

Meh, i'm just dumping her tbh, **** it, i've had enough.

It can still be embarassing. Even if she's denying it now you know the truth from befoe anyway, how can that be ruining your life? It's her personal business anyway...

Why did she feel the need to lie about Masturbation - and why is she now continuing??

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