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Should I expect my partner to be annoyed often with me? Watch

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    #1

    People are always going on about how conflict within a relationship is normal and healthy. My friend even told me that I should expect to annoy my partner, and that it'll even increase in the long run; but that's what a relationship is all about. It requires work.

    Recently, my girlfriend has been getting irritated slightly with some of the small things I do. She'd then proceed to ignore me for a while to 'cool' off when I'd want to smooth things over by figuring out what's wrong.

    I don't know what to think really.
    I broke down one time (Yes, it affects me that much) because she constantly seemed to be getting irritated with me. I basically told her that it seemed to be occuring way too much, and that it makes me question whether she'd really be happy with my prescence. Her answer: There's a reason I'm still with you. Plus, all these irritations are about really small stuff. You seem to see these things much worse than I do. Also a relationship requires effort and work.

    But to me, it just seems like abit of a cop-out answer to say that a relationship requires work, as if it's justification for the fact that a relationship will have minor disagreements.

    What I want to know...

    Is it normal for you guys?
    Is it unrealistic to want a relationship where people aren't constantly annoyed at each other?
    What do you usually get annoyed at your partner with?
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    the only thing that really bugs me about my boyfriend is his obsession with video games, and he's learned the hard way not to invite me over just to make me watch him play them :P

    But other than that we don't argue, not properly anyway. We have kind of kid-on fights that usually finish with a kiss or something haha!

    So yeah, I see where you're coming from, relationships require work, not fighting, but hey, everyone's different, some people like the passion that follows an argument...
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    -I'm one of those people who don't believe in relationships being 'work'. I certainly don't find it difficult or hard work to be in my relationship. Of course we have arguments every now and then, but you will have arguments with everyone you're this close to.
    - No I don't think that it's unrealistic to want a relationship where people aren't constantly annoyed at each other. A relationship is supposed to be fun, something you want to be in. I've always believed that you should have at least 10 good times to every bad time you have.
    - I get annoyed when he does the washing up the wrong way, or when he doesn't put his clothes in the laundry basket.
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    Most of our arguments are silly non-serious ones that we don't get particularly upset about but on occasion there are things that make either of us irritated (I got in a bit of a strop last night because he kept farting :sigh: ), it's completely normal if you spend that amount of time around somebody.

    The other day my bf was tired and grumpy and generally kept snapping at me and having a go for tiny things, by the end of the day I was just in a permanent on/off crying fit so I completely understand the breaking down bit, however it does sound like your girlfriend is a bit of a ***** to put it bluntly, if she does it constantly it's just going to make you feel like ****. You shouldn't be constantly annoyed with each other, it should be an every-now-and-then thing that doesn't dominate the entire relationship.

    I think you probs need to make it clearer to her how you feel so maybe she can learn to perhaps control her temper a bit.
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    Tough question tbh.
    Well, without any arguements at all, it might get a bit boring, everything going perfectly etc.
    Whereas a massive arguement every now and again might help, if it gets so bad that you realize you and your partner might split up, it might suddenly make you appreciate him/her all over again.
    These lyrics are the best answer to your question tbh:

    Its the same old you the same old me
    You get bored and I get cold feet
    Get high get wandering eyes
    Forget I've never ever had it so sweet
    I realize what I got when I'm out of town
    'Cos deep down you're my girl in a golden crown
    My princess and I don't wanna let you down
    No I don't wanna let you down down down down

    You want me to come over, I got an excuse
    I might be holding your hand, but I'm holding it loose
    Go to talk then we choke it's like our necks in a noose
    Avoid the obvious, we should be facing the truth

    Start to think it could be fizzling out
    Kinda' shocked because I never really had any doubts
    Look into your eyes imagine life without ya

    And the love kick starts again
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    I never argue. I am a reasonable person and would only go out with reasonable people, then there is no arguing. It definatley isn't normal to have arguing I have lived with my parents for 18 years and have never seen them raise their voice to each other.
    • #2
    #2

    i think every relationship is different, it depends how sensitive you are and how serious the irritations/disagreements/arguements are. I have never fallen out with my bf, weve never really argued but theres things we disagree on and sometimes one of us is grumpy if we're tired/ill/just woken up for example.

    i think you need to think about how much its effecting your relationship, it sounds like she is making a big deal of small things, i mean, if something about my bf irritated me, i wouldnt keep bringing it up, you either learn to ignore it, or talk about it and get over it because otherwise she will hert you.

    my previous relationship was ccompletely different, we argued all the time, we'd go days ignoring each other, i loved him probably as much as i love my new bf but i tell you this relationship is a hell of a lot happier and easier and he is someone i could spend the rest of my life with
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    People are always going on about how conflict within a relationship is normal and healthy. My friend even told me that I should expect to annoy my partner, and that it'll even increase in the long run; but that's what a relationship is all about. It requires work.

    Recently, my girlfriend has been getting irritated slightly with some of the small things I do. She'd then proceed to ignore me for a while to 'cool' off when I'd want to smooth things over by figuring out what's wrong.

    I don't know what to think really.
    I broke down one time (Yes, it affects me that much) because she constantly seemed to be getting irritated with me. I basically told her that it seemed to be occuring way too much, and that it makes me question whether she'd really be happy with my prescence. Her answer: There's a reason I'm still with you. Plus, all these irritations are about really small stuff. You seem to see these things much worse than I do. Also a relationship requires effort and work.

    But to me, it just seems like abit of a cop-out answer to say that a relationship requires work, as if it's justification for the fact that a relationship will have minor disagreements.

    What I want to know...

    Is it normal for you guys?
    Is it unrealistic to want a relationship where people aren't constantly annoyed at each other?
    What do you usually get annoyed at your partner with?
    sounds a bit like my last relationship and that ended with her not being able to handle being annoyed at those 'little things' any more... i know how you feel
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks for the replies so far. I didn't think there'd be any.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    i think every relationship is different, it depends how sensitive you are and how serious the irritations/disagreements/arguements are. I have never fallen out with my bf, weve never really argued but theres things we disagree on and sometimes one of us is grumpy if we're tired/ill/just woken up for example.

    i think you need to think about how much its effecting your relationship, it sounds like she is making a big deal of small things, i mean, if something about my bf irritated me, i wouldnt keep bringing it up, you either learn to ignore it, or talk about it and get over it because otherwise she will hert you.

    my previous relationship was ccompletely different, we argued all the time, we'd go days ignoring each other, i loved him probably as much as i love my new bf but i tell you this relationship is a hell of a lot happier and easier and he is someone i could spend the rest of my life with
    Well I haven't really had any proper arguments with my girlfriend where we're shouting at each other. Both would rather just talk things out in that case.

    But it's the small stuff that irritates her. Sort of like, accidently forgetting not to finish the last dish or walking slowly because I'm wondering what I've done wrong.

    (Original post by m45)
    sounds a bit like my last relationship and that ended with her not being able to handle being annoyed at those 'little things' any more... i know how you feel
    That's one of my biggest fears. It's the little things in the relationship that end up creating resentment and all that. Big arguments result in the whole 'Let's end things now' where as the little irritations are the ones which are: "I'll stick with this" followed by "I can't take this anymore! ARGH!"
 
 
 
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