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    I'm absolutely shocked. It seems the Investment Banking forum has no chistmas spirit whatsoever. You're all scrooges so I'm here to wish a MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all.



    Take a rest from the pitchbooks and all-nighters and unwind a little. Anyone know any banks actually having a Christmas party this year after all the bonus drama over the past two years, and if so, what have they got planned?

    Or anyone willing to regale in the drunken shenanigans in parties of Christmas past?


    If you are having a party, pretty much everyone's caught up in the Christmas cheer, so if there's anything you've been wanting to do all year, like calling that Associate out for the jackass he is, this is the best time to do it....just blame it on the champagne afterwards
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    (Original post by Zweihander)
    I'm absolutely shocked. It seems the Investment Banking forum has no chistmas spirit whatsoever. You're all scrooges so I'm here to wish a MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all.



    Take a rest from the pitchbooks and all-nighters and unwind a little. Anyone know any banks actually having a Christmas party this year after all the bonus drama over the past two years, and if so, what have they got planned?

    Or anyone willing to regale in the drunken shenanigans in parties of Christmas past?

    If you are having a party, pretty much everyone's caught up in the Christmas cheer, so if there's anything you've been wanting to do all year, like calling that Associate out for the jackass he is, this is the best time to do it....just blame it on the champagne afterwards
    Merry Christmas Zweihander !
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    Merry xmas!
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      The Lord's Prayer

      Our Ben,
      Who art in heaven,
      Hallowed Be-nanke,
      Thy auctions come,
      Thy Bill's be done,
      In Twos as they are in Sevens,
      Give us this day our daily FED,
      And forgive us our Treasuries,
      As we forgive those that default against us,
      And lead us not into recession,
      And deliver us from deflation,
      For thine is the borrowing, the easing, and the printing,
      For ever and ever.
      Amen.

      ---

      eta: to wrap up the service, as it were
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      Merry Christmas
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      (Original post by President_Ben)
      The Lord's Prayer

      Our Ben,
      Who art in heaven,
      Hallowed Be-nanke,
      Thy auctions come,
      Thy Bill's be done,
      In Twos as they are in Sevens,
      Give us this day our daily FED,
      And forgive us our Treasuries,
      As we forgive those that default against us,
      And lead us not into recession,
      And deliver us from deflation,
      For thine is the borrowing, the easing, and the printing,
      For ever and ever.
      Amen.

      ---

      eta: to wrap up the service, as it were
      haha when I read the first line of that I genuinely thought you were about to praise yourself.
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      merry xmas!

      Just in case you haven't seen it, take a look at this nice poetry written on WSO:

      'Twas the Street before Christmas 2010
      Another year over and we're at it again
      No monkey is safe from Uncle Eddie's rhymes
      And 2010 was full of greed, drama, and crimes


      Top billing this year goes to Lloyd's Goldman Sachs
      who robbed, raped, and pillaged like Mongols on crack
      So brazen their hubris one has to applaud
      Abacus, Paulson, and all manner of fraud

      The year introduced us to Fabulous Fabrice
      and SWAPS meant to hide the condition of Greece
      They tanked the Euro till it was near-dead
      and repaid TARP with secret loans from the Fed

      Chronic unemployment was ten percent's fate
      and B of A gave us Foreclosuregate
      Housing prices sunk like a hole in the boat
      while courts heard the cry, "Show me the note!"

      Dodd-Frank was a bust, those dithering tools
      they just gave us a watered-down Volcker Rule
      A return to Glass-Steagal is what we need
      to rein in all the destructive greed

      Plenty of doubt about HFT lingers
      after May's flash crash was blamed on fat fingers
      The fact is investors are nobody's fools
      they're aware of the front-running and shady dark pools

      Stone disappointed every Wall Street fan
      with a sequel that shouldn't have left the can
      Shia LaDouche is no Charlie Sheen
      For over two hours he stunk up the screen

      Bernanke stood proud with a dollar debased
      It'll now be a century before debt's erased
      He injected a second round of quantitative easing
      a move trading partners found most displeasing

      It no doubt will foment a currency war
      and cause both Euro and Yuan to soar
      He can't get enough of this idiotic plan
      Perhaps Ron Paul can hamstring the man

      Grains and metals are off to the races
      Short JPM traders were left with red faces
      Investors want to own something real
      and don't seem too interested in Obama's New Deal

      All in all, twenty-ten was an interesting year
      We spent like sailors while Europe's austere
      We never seem to learn from the past
      And for now it looks like the die has been cast

      But there's hope for the monkeys who do their job right
      who hit the books hard and work through the night
      You'll get rich if you work hard and play by the rules
      Maximize value and ignore the fools

      There's nothing wrong with chasing a buck
      but don't steal it from someone who's down on his luck
      Accepting corporate welfare by threatening a crash
      is writing checks with your mouth that your ass just can't cash

      The guys at the top are what's wrong with the Street
      but they'll be gone soon, replaced by those who don't cheat
      Let's weed out the dicks with their greedy obsession
      and restore a little honor to our vaunted profession
     
     
     
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