Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Really confused about this girl

Well, first off hi.

I met this girl in college last year, she added me on Facebook, we got talking, she told me a lot about herself, her boyfriend, etc.

About 3 months ago she left her boyfriend and told me about it, then told me about all the other situations she had with boys during the past 3 months. She told me she trusted me and that felt great.

However, at one point I broke that trust and she says she still trusts me, but it's obvious she doesn't trust me, at the very least, as much as she used to. And she won't tell me how I can make it better.

I've basically fell in love with her, however, I don't want her to be my girlfriend, my reasons are simple. 1, she's way too good for me. 2, she can do better, and I want her to do better. 3, I don't think I could make her as happy as I want her to be. But I still get really jealous when I know she's out with someone else.

I told her that I liked her a couple of weeks ago and she was just ''Oh, I wasn't expecting that'' and since then it feels like our friendship has deteriorated. I told her how I felt about our friendship and she said ''it hasn't''. Which just shows me that she doesn't care about our friendship as much as I do.

For all the TL;DR's,
I lost someone's trust, how can I gain it back?
Why am I so jealous?
Why do I care about our friendship so much more than she does?

Reply 1

TheCurlyHairedDude

I don't want her to be my girlfriend, my reasons are simple. 1, she's way too good for me. 2, she can do better, and I want her to do better. 3, I don't think I could make her as happy as I want her to be. But I still get really jealous when I know she's out with someone else. - With this kind of negative mentality no wonder she doesn't trust you, you have no right to be jealous, the only time you can be jealous is if you've put your heart and sole into making her your girlfriend but fail. You haven't even tried you dick, so fukin man up and get in there, son...

Peaceee bredrin

Reply 2

Smile88egc

Maybe she doesn't care less about your friendship but just doesn't know how to make the situation easier herself?
In my experience the only thing that helps regain someone's trust is time.

Reply 3

member520746

It's Christmas Day and you're moaning to the internet about a woman? Go to bed and think about what Santa's going to bring you

Reply 4

IndigoRockGirl

I don't know, I think you should just let everything cool off for a while, and maybe when everything's settled down you two can be friends, and maybe more :smile:

Good luck!
Merry Christmas!
x

Reply 5

Rule34

Original post by <liverpoolfc>

Trust takes years to build, but only seconds to shatter...

I know that's not sounding very optimistic, but I do think the most important thing in any relationship has got to be trust.. you lose that, and I'm afraid you've all but lost any chance of the relationship developing. Not saying it's impossible, but you just make it a hell of a lot harder. Out of curiosity, what was it that you did that broke the trust? Also, if you want to get that trust back, you don't ask her how you get it back.. you prove it to her. Finally, as TheCurlyHairedDude said, the first thing you've gotta change is that mentality.. if you're saying "I want her to do better".. what is the point of all this then? you say you love her. prove it.

Hope that helps :smile:

Not to go too far into it, she told me something, I accidentally told a friend, they spread it, she got wind of it and boom, trust gone.

How would I prove it when she won't let me? I don't know how I can prove it, she's too distant at the moment.

Reply 6

prescilla

Original post by Rule34

If someone would do that to me, I wouldn't believe if he said that it won't happen again. I would probably think that 1. he doesn't appreaciate my trust and me as a person 2. he is too stupid to understand what things are private and just between the two of us 3. he may be just playing with me and thinking that I'm just some idiot. As long as his friends are his "first priority" (he tells them everything), I don't tell him any private things that should not be told to everyone. I think only time will prove it, you messed up and you can't undo things. You just have to wait and see. And honestly, if you don't even want her to be your gf, she will probably some day find a guy who wants her. Then that guy will be her "first priority".

Reply 7

Anonymous #2

so you didnt want her as a girlfriend for your very 'self-sacrificing' reasons...what a martyr... and then you told her that you liked her...that's not really fair

it's like you're burdening her with your confusion.