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    Met this guy through my housemate (i'm 2nd year uni student) we were drunk and kissed (extremely drunk) afterwards we chatted and i told him i definately did not want anything more than friends (to make sure just in case) and he said he understood completely and we were very drunk

    since then we've been chatting alot, every day on msn, unless i dont sign in. he's a nice enough guy but recently he has started texting me more than a few times a day, even if i dont reply (due being busy/credit) i do reply some of the time...

    he also tries to call me when i've told him i'm out with my friends/busy so i wont be able to chat, he also knows i hate phonecalls also if i sign out of msn and say good night i get a text 1 or 2hrs later saying stuff like hope you're sleeping well or sweet dreams or can we chat tomorrow...i think some of it is a bit.. unnecessary and OTT as we dont know each other that well or for that long

    my housemate told me 'he has a tendency to build himself up and then get hurt very easily without being prompted so be careful'....which made me start worrying about how much he was contacting me... should i make myself scarce for a few days so he can calm down a bit and then resume a reduced level of contact ? is that a good idea or not?
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    anon because i don't want to sound like a ***** buhhh


    I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. And I feel guilty for knowing, because I trying to let clingy people down makes you feel scared about when you might like someone and how they could do the same to you. Or something. I don't know, i'm really confused. This all made sense in my head. Just gradually stop and don't let it play on your conscience or you'll end up paranoid and not showering for a week :zomg:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)

    my housemate told me 'he has a tendency to build himself up and then get hurt very easily without being prompted so be careful'....which made me start worrying about how much he was contacting me... should i make myself scarce for a few days so he can calm down a bit and then resume a reduced level of contact ? is that a good idea or not?
    I don't know his point of view when you do this, but I think you should go for it and make yourself less available.. I did this to a very clingy guy and after a while he took the hint, and went from clinging, texting and trying to make a move, to not talking to me for a few weeks before only talking when others are there. It was wonderful. now, a year later, we are friendly when we meet etc but no texting or private chatting.
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    Uhm... I guess there are three options:
    a) ignore him for couple of days: there's a chance that he might not get it (it's currently happening to me - she keeps texting/calling, argh). however, this is rather rude but apparently - and usually - works.
    b) tell him bluntly that you have not the slightest interest. yes, be harsh (i've changed my strategy and that's what i'm going to be be doing).
    c) last resort: meet with mutual friends and make him suffer in front of them. not nice but probably quite effective.

    oh, i almost forgot. there's always another option: get to know him better, start falling in love, move in together, marry, start a family, live happily ever after.
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    He blatantly likes you. You have to tell him to stop and that you don't if you want him to piss off...
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    (Original post by defuzion)
    He blatantly likes you. You have to tell him to stop and that you don't if you want him to piss off...
    Sorry for being completely off-topic - just to let you know, your signature includes a couple of mistakes:

    - City (University London) is not part of the University of London
    - "Royal Holloway" - Holloway with a double l
    - for the sake of it: the LSE is part of the University of London
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    You have to actually say to him to stop being clingy otherwise he won't get it.
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    He needs to learn. Let him down, be straight to the point and firm. Don't worry about hurting him just obviously don't be rude. This is the only way he'll learn because you've already told him and he hasn't taken the hint.
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    This is what blocking is for. You can't reason with people like this!
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    Just avoid him for now. Getting closer to him will just make him more clingy and get his hopes up too.
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    Dont avoid him, that wont work. His initial reaction will be to chase you. He's a chaser, end of. You need to tell him again that you only want to be friends and thats never going to change. Be harsh if you have to.

    Seriously the amount of times i chased when i was 14-17 and ended up feeling miserable. I still wish they had told me within the first week to simply **** off.
 
 
 
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