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Can't stop reading my ex-boyfriend's emails. Watch

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    My ex boyfriend and I broke up 5 months ago. It has been a messy break up; the last time we slept together is about 3 weeks ago. He has a new girlfriend now, that's been happening for a while.

    I do not really understand my feelings towards it. Every time I feel like I am over it I realise that I am not, however it's not a case of wanting to get back with him and I really don't. I mainly feel angry as I hate the new girlfriend, so everything to do with her upsets me. If he had not got a new girlfriend I feel as though I'd be over it, but I can't be sure.

    Anyway that's all just background knowledge for the main issue: I read his emails. When we were going out we had each others facebook passwords, his being the same password he uses for many things, one of which being his email. He changed his fb password but not this. Ever since we broke up I have been reading his facebook messages as it's the email that his facebook things get sent to. I have read every message she has sent him in the past 5 months and they message a lot. I cannot deal with it. It upsets me too much.

    I don't know why I do it to myself but I feel I am addicted. I can't stop reading them, to be honest I'm the type of nosy person that would probably read anyone's messages if I knew I could do it without them finding out (probs slight exaggeration) let alone it being an ex I'm not fully over. However, I equally NEVER want him to find out I've done this, so I can't tell him and get him to change his password. I don't think I could bring myself to. That is just not an option.

    GAH. Seriously. Any advice?! Novel ways of getting him to change his email password?!? Ways to force myself to stop reading them!??!
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    Stop that, it's scary. :zomg:
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    You read his emails to spy on him? Jesus, you are like an ex-girlfriend character from a low-budget thriller.
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    Firstly YOU SLEPT WITH HIM 3 WEEKS AGO?!!! =O WAHHHH?! He's cheating on his gf, and he's using you, why??

    And secondly, seriously hun stop causing so much pain to yourself, it's not good. You'll never be able to get over him that way =(
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    (Original post by OmicronPersei8)
    Stop that, it's scary. :zomg:
    (Original post by JCC-MGS)
    You read his emails to spy on him? Jesus, you are like an ex-girlfriend character from a low-budget thriller.
    Yes I know this and it makes me feel like a psycho and I don't want to read them I've tried not to. So do you have any words of advice or just insults, yeah?
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    (Original post by Sam89)
    Firstly YOU SLEPT WITH HIM 3 WEEKS AGO?!!! =O WAHHHH?! He's cheating on his gf, and he's using you, why??

    And secondly, seriously hun stop causing so much pain to yourself, it's not good. You'll never be able to get over him that way =(
    Well... they weren't "official" then. He kept trying to pretend nothing was happening but obviously I knew.. At the time it didn't bother me sleeping with him cos I felt like I was over it and it was just meaningless but now that he's gone official I feel like I've lost so much progress in getting over it
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    Why did you break up with him in the first place ?

    Edit: ok you beat me to it
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Well... they weren't "official" then. He kept trying to pretend nothing was happening but obviously I knew.. At the time it didn't bother me sleeping with him cos I felt like I was over it and it was just meaningless but now that he's gone official I feel like I've lost so much progress in getting over it
    You need to cut all contact, atleast till you get over him. Otherwise, it'll be a cycle of hurt, don't do that to yourself.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My ex boyfriend and I broke up 5 months ago. It has been a messy break up; the last time we slept together is about 3 weeks ago. He has a new girlfriend now, that's been happening for a while.

    I do not really understand my feelings towards it. Every time I feel like I am over it I realise that I am not, however it's not a case of wanting to get back with him and I really don't. I mainly feel angry as I hate the new girlfriend, so everything to do with her upsets me. If he had not got a new girlfriend I feel as though I'd be over it, but I can't be sure.

    Anyway that's all just background knowledge for the main issue: I read his emails. When we were going out we had each others facebook passwords, his being the same password he uses for many things, one of which being his email. He changed his fb password but not this. Ever since we broke up I have been reading his facebook messages as it's the email that his facebook things get sent to. I have read every message she has sent him in the past 5 months and they message a lot. I cannot deal with it. It upsets me too much.

    I don't know why I do it to myself but I feel I am addicted. I can't stop reading them, to be honest I'm the type of nosy person that would probably read anyone's messages if I knew I could do it without them finding out (probs slight exaggeration) let alone it being an ex I'm not fully over. However, I equally NEVER want him to find out I've done this, so I can't tell him and get him to change his password. I don't think I could bring myself to. That is just not an option.

    GAH. Seriously. Any advice?! Novel ways of getting him to change his email password?!? Ways to force myself to stop reading them!??!

    Contact him and tell him to change his password, lie about having it written down (along with his username) and how you think someone's stolen it. Then you won't be able to read them.
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    eek. you are me. i have my ex's password to facebook and one of his minor email accounts. when we were going out i used to have access to everything and i used to read his texts. i've majorly cut down on stalking him, but it's mainly because nothing interesting really happens. he doesn't have a new gf (...yet) and he doesn't really use fb much nor this minor email account. however i know i do have to stop all this now. it's not healthy, and it is detrimental to getting over him and moving on.

    you need to stop it so you can move on properly and get on with your own life. you are just going to hurt yourself in the long run. also imagine how crazy he and his gf would think you were if they found out!

    short of telling him to change his password yourself, you're going to need some self discipline! but you can do it - you have to do it for your own good! everytime you find yourself typing in his username and password, do something else. physically get up from the computer and do something else or go to a different website, like tsr, until the urge fades.
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    (Original post by Bella_Gail)
    Contact him and tell him to change his password, lie about having it written down (along with his username) and how you think someone's stolen it. Then you won't be able to read them.
    Interesting :holmes: Worried he might see through that though?
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    I have my ex's FB password and I haven't gone on her account once. Somebody give me a high-five.

    Also, just tell him. You don't have any right to escape the embarrassment of him finding out, because you are being hella creepy.
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    Come clean. Shag him again first tho cus that's hawt. Also, tits or gtfo.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    eek. you are me. i have my ex's password to facebook and one of his minor email accounts. when we were going out i used to have access to everything and i used to read his texts. i've majorly cut down on stalking him, but it's mainly because nothing interesting really happens. he doesn't have a new gf (...yet) and he doesn't really use fb much nor this minor email account. however i know i do have to stop all this now. it's not healthy, and it is detrimental to getting over him and moving on.

    you need to stop it so you can move on properly and get on with your own life. you are just going to hurt yourself in the long run. also imagine how crazy he and his gf would think you were if they found out!

    short of telling him to change his password yourself, you're going to need some self discipline! but you can do it - you have to do it for your own good! everytime you find yourself typing in his username and password, do something else. physically get up from the computer and do something else or go to a different website, like tsr, until the urge fades.
    Haha... actually I never once logged into anything of his while we were together, actually it's quite accidental that I have his password. Anyway that's irrelevant.

    Unfortunately unlike you he uses fb a LOT and these days there's new messages almost every day. I DON'T KNOW WHY I DO IT. Ahhhhhhhhh. I usually just skim them, but they still upset me. I'll just have to do it the hard way like you said... I'm just worried that I won't read them for a few weeks then cave, or maybe if I was drunk or something I'd have less self-restraint.
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    Get some self esteem woman!

    He is no LONGER with YOU and has chosen to be someone else and not mend things with YOU and YOU still sleep with him behind HER back. Do you recognise this boy has no respect for you at all? I doubt you would seen as you appear to have very little respect for yourself.

    You're like Lauren from The Only Way Is Essex, the sad ex who keeps hanging on and sleeping with her ex while he goes around town with hotter newer women and see's her as a shag when he needs it but no longer good enough to be his girlfriend any more.

    STOP reading his emails, that's borderline stalking, the fact he has a new girlfriend means he has moved on some what, you need to do so too.

    QUICK!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    eek. you are me. i have my ex's password to facebook and one of his minor email accounts. when we were going out i used to have access to everything and i used to read his texts. i've majorly cut down on stalking him, but it's mainly because nothing interesting really happens. he doesn't have a new gf (...yet) and he doesn't really use fb much nor this minor email account. however i know i do have to stop all this now. it's not healthy, and it is detrimental to getting over him and moving on.
    You talk about it like its a casual thing...stop stalking your boyfriend, you would feel violated and go in a *****fit if he did that to you. It's also illegal.
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    Sorry but this guy is blatantly using you. I guarantee he knows that you wont tell on him and i guarantee that he knows you still want him. He just wants sex. It sounds harsh but you are now JUST his bit on the side.

    Take the following steps:

    CUT ALL CONTACT.
    Delete from Facebook/networking websites.
    Delete old stuff like texts,numbers even notes in calendars.

    If he asks why you have deleted him off facebook just say you need time to get over him and that you will readd him when you think your ready to be friends.

    If he protests simply state that its what you need and if he cant accept that then he's not a friend of yours any longer.

    If he tries to get you back into bed, just tell him to **** off. Don't let yourself become somebodies "shag" i know you hate this other girl but she would be devastated if she found out.

    Would you want that?
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    (Original post by PortiaLovesMcqueen)
    Get some self esteem woman!

    He is no LONGER with YOU and has chosen to be someone else and not mend things with YOU and YOU still sleep with him behind HER back. Do you recognise this boy has no respect for you at all? I doubt you would seen as you appear to have very little respect for yourself.

    You're like Lauren from The Only Way Is Essex, the sad ex who keeps hanging on and sleeping with her ex while he goes around town with hotter newer women and see's her as a shag when he needs it but no longer good enough to be his girlfriend any more.

    STOP reading his emails, that's borderline stalking, the fact he has a new girlfriend means he has moved on some what, you need to do so too.

    QUICK!
    Haha, as well as making me laugh this is also probably the most helpful advice in here.
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      Use his email to send suspicious messages to everyone he knows. Then he'll change the password himself.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      Haha, as well as making me laugh this is also probably the most helpful advice in here.
      You are going through the obsessive phase people often experience when they end any relationship you need to STOP like TODAY as in NOW!

      It will be 2011 in a few days time and please I'd love you to sit slap yourself about 10 times and get the hell over it.

      Get some self- respect for yourself, you had a life before this and will have a life after, stop being the sore loser in this situation and move on, seriously He has.

      Gosh, his flocking around town with a new girl and your at home sitting reading his emails. What are you doing? I say go look in the mirror , slap yourself twice , remember who you were before him and move on!
     
     
     
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