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Worried About My Mum and Dad Watch

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    My parents seem really unhappy together. My mum keeps talking to me about my dad, saying how he's boring and not a very nice person. On Christmas Eve she came into my room and just started crying; I don't know what to say to comfort her when she does this.
    It looks as though, sooner or later, they're going to divorce. I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to cope when this happens; I'm 20, but will still be affected by it a lot. How does one not take sides? It's really upsetting that my family's falling apart like this.
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    I think this would be upsetting no matter what your age.

    As for taking sides, I think you have to remember that you don't know the full story.

    It's not really fair for your mum to come and cry to you when she is upset about your dad. I think the only reassurance you can offer her is that you will always love her no matter what, but it's also reasonable to tell her that you cannot be the one she talks to about things.
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    OP you shouldnt have to deal with your mum coming to you and mouthing off about your dad. It is very selfish and rather stupid of her. Tell her you do not feel comfortable and steer her towards another family member or her friends

    Luckily you are 20 so old enough to realise that some things just dont work out. Try and speak to a phone counsellor. There are quite a few brilliant ones but I know they have different age ranges. It should help you cope better
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My parents seem really unhappy together. My mum keeps talking to me about my dad, saying how he's boring and not a very nice person. On Christmas Eve she came into my room and just started crying; I don't know what to say to comfort her when she does this.
    It looks as though, sooner or later, they're going to divorce. I guess I'm just looking for advice on how to cope when this happens; I'm 20, but will still be affected by it a lot. How does one not take sides? It's really upsetting that my family's falling apart like this.
    I am sorry to hear this.... best thing to do? Just be there for both of them. Don't pry and your mom is trusting you and just wants a pair of ears when she comes crying... listen don't ask?

    Anyway as for boring and not nice...... I think most men will go through that stage where they become "boring" and start doing gardening As for what to do.... nothing really..... as for him being "not nice" it's hard to say without knowing why...... it could just be that it's your mom that is making him become a mean old man
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    Your mum should really not be talking to you about it in that way. It's weird for the parent to talk to the child about their other parent like that, even when they are 20.

    Honestly, when two people are unhappy together separation is often the best thing. My parents are much happier since they separated.
    Hopefully there won't be too many arguments, as you're an adult you kind of have the authority to tell one/both of them to be more civil if necessary.
    It's a time of upheaval, but it passes.
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    • Thread Starter
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    I overheard them talking earlier, and I think they're both quite relieved they've finally got round to separating. Hopefully they will be happier apart; the house is a fairly miserable place at the moment. I can't imagine how hard it is for little children when their parents split up, I mean, how do they decide who to live with?
 
 
 
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