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    I'm quite insecure and always worry that I don't 'measure up' or something to my boyfriend's ex. I know everyone's got a past supposedly but he's my first boyfriend and I think that's where the problem comes from. We've been together two years now, we even live together, so I just want to forget about her and stop looking at her Facebook etc (I know I've completely brought this on myself) so I can stop worrying about competing and get on with our relationship.

    And I know he's with me now but it's not really the present or future that bothers me, just what's gone on before. Usually I can cope with it okay but he's home for Christmas (in the town where she lives, 150 miles away) and had a couple of nights out where she's been there and even though I trust him I just need it to not bother me any more. I can't get this anxious every time he visits his family, it makes me miserable. And although he's really lovely about it all, I know if it goes on much longer it'll break us up. We're getting to the stage now of thinking about the future and it just seems silly to be worrying about some girl he went out with when he was at college but for some reason it still bothers me :confused:

    I am aware how pathetic this sounds... So do your past relationships have that much bearing on your current one? Have you ever felt that nobody would come close to your first girl/boyfriend? Or should I just get over it?
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    You're being neurotic. Get over it before you lose him.
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    I know but it's been going on for nearly two years now. It's got to the stage where it's almost like a habit to compare things to her and I need a way to stop. I've tried just not thinking about it but that didn't work. I think I have a bit of an obsessive personality.
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    Im so the same as you! I always look at guys old girlfriends on facebook to see how I 'measure up', unfortunately I mean it quite literally, if they're skinnier than me I freak the hell out =P you just have to remember he's with you for a reason, if he didnt think you were amazing he wouldn't be with you it's as simple as that...you don't 'settle' and stay in the relationship for 2 years
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know but it's been going on for nearly two years now. It's got to the stage where it's almost like a habit to compare things to her and I need a way to stop. I've tried just not thinking about it but that didn't work. I think I have a bit of an obsessive personality.
    It will become a self fulfilling prophecy if you keep on comparing and stressing over this.

    You should ask your bf why his ex has become an ex, then you could perhaps learn from it rather than fall into the same trap
 
 
 
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