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They didn't even call me... Watch

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    Long story short, my friends and I were discussing going to see a film together last Monday; phoned them up today to ask if they wanted to go this Thursday because my car would be fixed by then, and their unanimous reply?

    "Oh, sorry, I've already seen it - went last Friday."

    Unless by some amazing coincidence they all decided to go and see this film, alone, on the same day, I think it's pretty obvious they all saw this film together on Friday ... and no one even called me. And that none of them admit they saw it with the others indicates that they intentionally kept me out of it, because otherwise they would have said something more like, "We all went on Friday - didn't so-and-so call you?"

    Maybe I'm just being paranoid, but they've been doing other things that seem to be trying to push me out lately - having Christmas dinner at a restaurant I can't eat in (food allergies), arranging a last minute holiday over the period my cousin's funeral was in so I couldn't go, going to see a 3D film when they know I don't have the ability to see them, that sort of thing.

    It's like they don't want me around anymore. Our friendships maybe didn't have the strongest of foundations, but they've been good friends until about two months ago. I don't know what I've done to deserve this, because I'm pretty sure I haven't changed. More than that, I don't know what to do now; I don't want to keep on trying to be friends with people who clearly don't want me around because that's just desperate ... but, at the same time, it's not fair they get to push me out, and it's not like I have anyone else because they're all doing it.

    Any advice, TSR?

    TL;DR version: 'Friends' seem to be trying to push me out of their lives by doing things like secretly going to see films we discussed seeing together. Don't want to seem desperate by trying to stay friends when it's obvious they don't want me, but also don't want to let them win - what should I do?
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    Maybe confront them about it? Talking always solves problems
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    (Original post by charcharchar)
    Maybe confront them about it? Talking always solves problems
    I tried that when they decided to see the 3D film - they denied it.
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      having Christmas dinner at a restaurant I can't eat in (food allergies) = they have every right to eat wherever they want
      going to see a 3D film when they know I don't have the ability to see them = they have every right to watch a 3D film, because you can't that doesn't mean they have to lose out on 3D films


      I would have done the same, it seems you are all about me, me, me.........
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      You don't have the ability to see 3D films?
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      (Original post by cybergrad)
      having Christmas dinner at a restaurant I can't eat in (food allergies) = they have every right to eat wherever they want
      going to see a 3D film when they know I don't have the ability to see them = they have every right to watch a 3D film, because you can't that doesn't mean they have to lose out on 3D films


      I would have done the same, it seems you are all about me, me, me.........
      They do, yes. And, in the past, I know they have gone to see 3D films and eaten at restaurants I can't eat in. What they haven't done is made a point of inviting me so I have to turn them down.

      (Original post by Tzarchasm)
      You don't have the ability to see 3D films?
      No - you need two eyes because your brain fuses two images, and I don't.
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      (Original post by Anonymous)
      They do, yes. And, in the past, I know they have gone to see 3D films and eaten at restaurants I can't eat in. What they haven't done is made a point of inviting me so I have to turn them down.



      No - you need two eyes because your brain fuses two images, and I don't.
      Oh right, sorry. Are you a female or male?
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        (Original post by Anonymous)
        They do, yes. And, in the past, I know they have gone to see 3D films and eaten at restaurants I can't eat in. What they haven't done is made a point of inviting me so I have to turn them down.
        What difference would it make, they would still get the same answer. Did it ever cross your mind that they stopped asking you so that you don't feel sad and upset for not being able to follow them in their outings?
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        If I was your mate I wouldn't invite you if I knew you couldn't go to a certain restaurant or film. Surely a wasted conversation?

        Do they invite you to other things? When did you last do something together?
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        (Original post by Tzarchasm)
        You don't have the ability to see 3D films?
        I can't see them either, my brain learnt to deal with 'double vision' by only taking an image from eye at a time, not allowing any image overlap to occur..... so it just looks 2D to me :P
        I realised I wouldn't be able to see it during the ads before the first one i went to see, it's a little bit more fussy, and not 3D obv', but you can still enjoy the film
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        (Original post by Tzarchasm)
        Oh right, sorry. Are you a female or male?
        Sorry? And female, although I fail to see (geddit? :awesome::getmecoat:) what that has to do with not being able to see 3D films...

        (Original post by cybergrad)
        What difference would it make, they would still get the same answer. Did it ever cross your mind that they stopped asking you so that you don't feel sad and upset for not being able to follow them in their outings?
        I don't think you understand... They never used to ask me, because it was just accepted that I wouldn't be able to come. However, now they have started to ask me to join them on things they know I can't do. So why the sudden change...?

        I think they're trying to set it up so, when we inevitably fall apart, they can say, "But you're the one whose been refusing to come out with us."

        (Original post by Bravery)
        If I was your mate I wouldn't invite you if I knew you couldn't go to a certain restaurant or film. Surely a wasted conversation?

        Do they invite you to other things? When did you last do something together?
        Two, three months ago. That's been a long time, now I think about it... Maybe I'm already the desperate friend?
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        (Original post by AnHuman)
        I can't see them either, my brain learnt to deal with 'double vision' by only taking an image from eye at a time, not allowing any image overlap to occur..... so it just looks 2D to me :P
        I realised I wouldn't be able to see it during the ads before the first one i went to see, it's a little bit more fussy, and not 3D obv', but you can still enjoy the film
        Amblyopia?

        Exactly what I have - brain suppresses the image from my right eye, so it only works if I close my left and, even then, it doesn't see properly - very blurry, and it doesn't even really improve with glasses, because I'm too used to not seeing from it.
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        Why don't YOU invite them to go do something?

        Y'know proactivity can solve a multitude of things!
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        (Original post by greeneyedgirl)
        Why don't YOU invite them to go do something?

        Y'know proactivity can solve a multitude of things!
        What do you think I was trying to do with the film?
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        Are you the guy who's friends got mad at because you couldn't see a 3D film? Cause if you are, I'm pretty sure it was already established your friends are dicks.
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        They sound like bad friends. I'd suggest just trying to find new ones. I'm sure there are others out there are others out there.

        How much do you share in common with these friends, anyway?
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        (Original post by Anonymous)
        What do you think I was trying to do with the film?
        Suggesting you would like to see a film sometime was great, and asking was great...but you left it too late! As soon as you've all decided you want to see a film or whatever, set a date!
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        (Original post by Mm_Minty)
        Are you the guy who's friends got mad at because you couldn't see a 3D film? Cause if you are, I'm pretty sure it was already established your friends are dicks.
        I'm not that guy, but it is fairly descriptive.

        (Original post by Godot201)
        They sound like bad friends. I'd suggest just trying to find new ones. I'm sure there are others out there are others out there.

        How much do you share in common with these friends, anyway?
        Like I say, we didn't have great foundations - our friendship was purely based on us all being the losers in school - but we shared music, had some good holidays, had a lot of fun for thirteen, fourteen years.

        (Original post by greeneyedgirl)
        Suggesting you would like to see a film sometime was great, and asking was great...but you left it too late! As soon as you've all decided you want to see a film or whatever, set a date!
        Actually, what we decided was we'd get Christmas out of the way then decide...

        I have had friends and I know how to behave around people, I don't need the Dummies' Guide to it.
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        (Original post by Anonymous)
        Actually, what we decided was we'd get Christmas out of the way then decide...

        I have had friends and I know how to behave around people, I don't need the Dummies' Guide to it.
        You came on TSR asking for advice, I'm giving you advice!
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        (Original post by Anonymous)
        Like I say, we didn't have great foundations - our friendship was purely based on us all being the losers in school - but we shared music, had some good holidays, had a lot of fun for thirteen, fourteen years.
        Mhm. Well it sounds like you're yet to find people you really 'click' with- I mean, if music and going on a few holidays is all you have in common, then I don't think that'll be enough for you to build up strong friendships.

        Maybe join a few forums online, and see if any of the members live near you? My best friends live no-where near, but I tend to travel to see them a few times a year. It's not ideal, but at least I feel somewhat more secure that way.

        Just an idea, though.
       
       
       
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