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Was it wrong to slap a mentally unstable guy? watch

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    There's this guy who's sometimes at my gym. He's always just chilling on the elliptical for ages, just obviously staring at girls. I think there's something mentally wrong with him, because he does weird stuff with his neck (twitching, almost) and he shouts at people, he also has an older man sitting and watching him. Anyway.

    Everytime I'm on the treadmill, which is behind the ellipticals, he keeps turning his head and staring for 10-20 seconds at a time, making me really uncomfortable and unfocused. Today I was in a really bad mood from before because of exam stress and social issues, so it annoyed me so much I just had to walk away and do something else.

    He's shouted "Anna" at me before, which is not my name, so he might think I'm someone else. He did this today when I was walking past, and I just ignored him. Then he screams some more and suddenly he's grabbing my arm, hard. I say let go and pull it to me, but he tugs it harder. So hard I'm getting scared at this point. I'm struggling for a bit before I physically hit his arm off mine and slap him, and his "watcher" comes and grabs him. Then, the guy tells me off for slapping him. I just stand there in shock and disgust, didn't know whether to apologize or shout at him. Because of my already fuming mood, I just shake my head and walk off, even though I was clenching my fists in anger.

    Now im just so angry I want to hit something. I mean, if you are being physically violated, even by a guy who isn't quite with it, don't I have a right to defend myself? He's obviously annoying all the females around him in the gym, why can't we tell his guardian without being told "he's just like that", or "you are a bad person for not accepting his disabilities"?
    Whoever it is, if someone grabs me and dont let go when I ask, I take action.
    Did this guy have the right to tell me off?
    Am I a bad person for slapping a mentally unstable guy?
    (Sorry for uneccesarily long post, Im just so pissed off.)
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    No he didnt have the right.
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    No the guy was physically threatening towards you. His minder should have kept a better watch over him and he shouldn't have told you off.

    Write a letter to the gym explaining how this man had made you feel uncomfortable for a while and then he eventually assaulted you.
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    What is any answer here going to change? Do you really need our validation?
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    If someone grabs you like that without permission you have a right to defend yourself, with as little force as is necessary. His watcher (if that is what he is) might not have seen him grab you but his watcher didn't prevent him doing so.

    An apology is really owed to you from the watcher for the unwanted physical contact that you were subjected to. Assume that they only saw you hit the person and rest easy. You sound like a good person who doesn't stigmatise people with disabilities of some kind. Regardless, you have to defend yourself when that situation occurred because anyone who is unstable for a short or long period of time can do harmful things.

    A bad event that you shouldn't have had to go through and in which you did the only reasonable quickly effective thing.

    If you want to bring it up with the gym then you should because maybe closer supervision is necessary. It would not necessarily be stigmatising that person to say so.
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    Yes you were wrong. At the time that you slapped him, he was no longer holding on to you. It was unnecessary.
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    If you posted on your account I'd of repped ya.

    Slapping dem retards keeps the tardation at bay.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    There's this guy who's sometimes at my gym. He's always just chilling on the elliptical for ages, just obviously staring at girls. I think there's something mentally wrong with him, because he does weird stuff with his neck (twitching, almost) and he shouts at people, he also has an older man sitting and watching him. Anyway.

    Everytime I'm on the treadmill, which is behind the ellipticals, he keeps turning his head and staring for 10-20 seconds at a time, making me really uncomfortable and unfocused. Today I was in a really bad mood from before because of exam stress and social issues, so it annoyed me so much I just had to walk away and do something else.

    He's shouted "Anna" at me before, which is not my name, so he might think I'm someone else. He did this today when I was walking past, and I just ignored him. Then he screams some more and suddenly he's grabbing my arm, hard. I say let go and pull it to me, but he tugs it harder. So hard I'm getting scared at this point. I'm struggling for a bit before I physically hit his arm off mine and slap him, and his "watcher" comes and grabs him. Then, the guy tells me off for slapping him. I just stand there in shock and disgust, didn't know whether to apologize or shout at him. Because of my already fuming mood, I just shake my head and walk off, even though I was clenching my fists in anger.

    Now im just so angry I want to hit something. I mean, if you are being physically violated, even by a guy who isn't quite with it, don't I have a right to defend myself? He's obviously annoying all the females around him in the gym, why can't we tell his guardian without being told "he's just like that", or "you are a bad person for not accepting his disabilities"?
    Whoever it is, if someone grabs me and dont let go when I ask, I take action.
    Did this guy have the right to tell me off?
    Am I a bad person for slapping a mentally unstable guy?
    (Sorry for uneccesarily long post, Im just so pissed off.)

    It is wrong to slap him! Gosh! Didn't you see what happened to the guy on Desperate Housewives series 2?! That's right! He died!
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    (Original post by morecambebay)
    Yes you were wrong. At the time that you slapped him, he was no longer holding on to you. It was unnecessary.
    Oh come on. First of all he's had to put up with an unstable looking/sounding person grabbing him for no good reason, which is a potentially gross infringement (the unstable person could have injured his arm or attacked him with his other hand) and second of all he's at further risk by trying to defend himself.

    Nobody would feel entirely happy with just freeing themselves from that grip. You'd feel like reporting it to the police but you'd know that it would have no satisfactory closure for you because they'd put it down to 'one of those things' that unstable people do. So you'd cut to the chase and give a quick slap to have closure on the matter. This is not Tony Martin shooting a fleeing unarmed person in the back with a shotgun that we're talking about. It's a slap in the heat of the moment which also serves to try to prevent further assault.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    There's this guy who's sometimes at my gym. He's always just chilling on the elliptical for ages, just obviously staring at girls. I think there's something mentally wrong with him, because he does weird stuff with his neck (twitching, almost) and he shouts at people, he also has an older man sitting and watching him. Anyway.

    Everytime I'm on the treadmill, which is behind the ellipticals, he keeps turning his head and staring for 10-20 seconds at a time, making me really uncomfortable and unfocused. Today I was in a really bad mood from before because of exam stress and social issues, so it annoyed me so much I just had to walk away and do something else.

    He's shouted "Anna" at me before, which is not my name, so he might think I'm someone else. He did this today when I was walking past, and I just ignored him. Then he screams some more and suddenly he's grabbing my arm, hard. I say let go and pull it to me, but he tugs it harder. So hard I'm getting scared at this point. I'm struggling for a bit before I physically hit his arm off mine and slap him, and his "watcher" comes and grabs him. Then, the guy tells me off for slapping him. I just stand there in shock and disgust, didn't know whether to apologize or shout at him. Because of my already fuming mood, I just shake my head and walk off, even though I was clenching my fists in anger.

    Now im just so angry I want to hit something. I mean, if you are being physically violated, even by a guy who isn't quite with it, don't I have a right to defend myself? He's obviously annoying all the females around him in the gym, why can't we tell his guardian without being told "he's just like that", or "you are a bad person for not accepting his disabilities"?
    Whoever it is, if someone grabs me and dont let go when I ask, I take action.
    Did this guy have the right to tell me off?
    Am I a bad person for slapping a mentally unstable guy?
    (Sorry for uneccesarily long post, Im just so pissed off.)
    You were just assaulted.

    If that guy is his carer he isn't doing his job correctly.
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    (Original post by Picnic1)
    Oh come on. First of all he's had to put up with an unstable looking/sounding person grabbing him for no good reason, which is a potentially gross infringement (the unstable person could have injured his arm or attacked him with his other hand) and second of all he's at further risk by trying to defend himself.

    Nobody would feel entirely happy with just freeing themselves from that grip. You'd feel like reporting it to the police but you'd know that it would have no satisfactory closure for you because they'd put it down to 'one of those things' that unstable people do. So you'd cut to the chase and give a quick slap to have closure on the matter. This is not Tony Martin shooting a fleeing unarmed person in the back with a shotgun that we're talking about. It's a slap in the heat of the moment which also serves to try to prevent further assault.
    I dont care whether they feel happy with it or not. The fact is that at the time they slapped him, he was no longer holding on to them.

    You saying that it is ok to assault disabled people in the heat of the moment is quite simply discrimination. It wouldnt be stood for against normal people.
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    no because he forcefully grabbed you, he could have hurt you if nobody else was around. People with severe mental problems don't know the damage that they can do they don't realise their strength in other words. It wasn't right, but at the same time you paniced which made you do it. It wasn't out of spite or anything it was probably like a natural reflex because the adrenaline was kicking in and you were scared. My advice be more careful if this guy is around you and tell his watcher to keep a closer eye on him he's at fault as well.
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    its the 'watchers' fault, it should not take that guy to places like a gym if he's that unstable
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    If that was me I would have done the same.

    Although I probably would have decked his "minder" as well.
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    You had a right to defend yourself; in my opinion, this is mainly the watcher's fault.

    A gym is a environment with lots of people, and mutual level of respect should be introduced, I am curious as to why the guy in question was allowed to get as far as grabbing you in the first place.
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    You have my sympathy.
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    A guy like this shouldn't be allowed in your gym. Why don't you complain about him ?
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    As everyone else has said, his minder should have been watching him more closely and intervened before that point.

    I had a similar problem once from someone not doing their job - on the bus home from school one day, a girl from another nearby school started yanking on my hair and spraying stuff at me, so I turned round eventually and hit her and it became a full-fledged fight. Yeah, I probably shouldn't have done that and, as a pretty passive person, I am surprised I did. It got broken up, I got to the bus station and met my friend and sat down and the girl came back and punched me in the throat. It turned out that this girl was serious trouble and had a minder who was supposed to accompany her to and from school everyday, but evidently not that day...
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    (Original post by morecambebay)
    I dont care whether they feel happy with it or not. The fact is that at the time they slapped him, he was no longer holding on to them.

    You saying that it is ok to assault disabled people in the heat of the moment is quite simply discrimination. It wouldnt be stood for against normal people.
    As a mentally unstable person, I'm saying she did have the right to hit him. This was not assault, as it was merely self-defense. Anyone arguing against this is suggesting that it is alright for mentally unstable people to go around assaulting people. The fact that he was no longer holding on is irrelevant. If I was grabbing onto someone, just pushing me off would not stop me, however slapping me would make me realise that what I am doing is wrong.
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    I hit a mentally unstable girl once so I'm gonna say...no it wasn't wrong. Sometimes words alone aren't enough to make em go away
 
 
 
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