My mum keeps calling me a slut!

Hi,

Yeah, basically my mum keeps calling me a slut, disgusting, tart, strumpet and other words to that effect.

I am 18 years old and have a boyfriend. It's long distance so we don't see each other that often but he's coming to stay with my family tomorrow (they've never met him) but I decided to get a hotel in with him the night before he stays because we don't see each other that often and I want to spend alone time with him. We haven't even had sex yet and it's not that sort of relationship yet but my mother has been digging at me ever since I told her and not even speaking to me because of it.

She has always been a prude and doesn't even allow anyone in the house to say "fart" or "bum" because she thinks its rude! When I told her I'd had sex with my last boyfriend (who I was with for three years and she hated for no reason and I was 16) she cried and didn't speak to me for three weeks. Even when she did, she never listened to what I had to say and just called me a trollop.

I've ignored it for a while, but I'm 18 years old now and I'm bloody fed up with it. Any advice on how to approach this would be appreciated.

Reply 1

Davezk

12

Wow she sounds childish beyond belief. What is wrong with her? Sounds like she needs to get laid herself.

Reply 2

Organ

13

she sounds unreasonable, you sound reasonable and completely unslutty. I'm not really sure what you can say to her - just explain it's normal and healthy and not remotely slutty to have sex in a relationship. If she can't accept that you had sex legally and you may have sex with a boyfriend at 18 then she's in the wrong, and you will probably have to deal with the fact she is unreasonable like that.

Reply 3

username47781

20

Sounds like your Mum must be very lonely.

Reply 4

madders94

18

My Mum calls me a slag (and worse!) all the time, but my mum does it as a joke. She sounds like a total nasty cow, you're better off without her :smile:

Reply 5

NOBODY MOVE!

14

MOTHER ALWAYS KNOWS BEST!
... apart from on this occasion.

sympathies to you, op. <3

Reply 6

shygirl92

7

Thats weird. At least there is some sort of reason for her logic in calling you that (ie. She's an insane prude who thinks shagging your bf is wrong etc - which it isn't!!) My mum calls me a slut all the time. Even though she's never seen me wearing tight or revealing clothes and doesn't know that i've kissed a boy, let alone seen his magic wand.

Tbf she called my 11yo sister a slag from dropping cutlery this morning. So yeah. My mum's a nutjob.

Reply 7

MovingOn

10

Personally, I would just discontinue contact with her until she grows up! It seems as though she has a few issues of her own and is taking this out on you.

Reply 8

truthandtragedy

16

What the hell is a strumpet?

Reply 9

Katq

8

My mum calls me Podgy Poo, cause she did when I was a kid, haha.

But yes, she does sound unreasonable. I get that she doesn't want her little girl to grow up, I know my mum would probably be mad if I did it at 16, but she shouldn't be. Did you tell her "me and my boyfriend are getting a hotel room so we can have some sexytime"? Wouldn't that be awkward at family dinner the next day?

And you sound very responsible, you've had a LD-relationship without having sex, you're not a slut in any way. I don't know what you can do about your mum other than convince her he is a nice guy, and you've grown up!

Reply 10

CoffeeStinks

11

Original post by shygirl92

....

Are you a girl or boy?
Your U.N says girls but sign says boy. :s-smilie:

Oh and OP parents can be unreasonable like that just try and talk to her to see what she expected you to do while you bf was over.

Reply 11

M1E1H1N1A1Z

you should just say "children are a map of their parents"(itz a saying) so does that make you one...she myt reconsider when she thinks about calling you names....

Reply 12

Arielle

1

Original post by truthandtragedy

What the hell is a strumpet?

Old fashioned word for prostitute.

Reply 13

carbondummy

10

Original post by shygirl92

Thats weird. At least there is some sort of reason for her logic in calling you that (ie. She's an insane prude who thinks shagging your bf is wrong etc - which it isn't!!) My mum calls me a slut all the time. Even though she's never seen me wearing tight or revealing clothes and doesn't know that i've kissed a boy, let alone seen his magic wand.

Tbf she called my 11yo sister a slag from dropping cutlery this morning. So yeah. My mum's a nutjob.

I LOL'd at your last line. Hahahaha.

OP, Have you tried talking to her? Sometimes not communicating can be the problem.

Reply 14

username196545

19

My mum once called me corrosive, and said no one, not even my dead grandmother, liked me.. :emo:

Reply 15

fist of the south star

10

I'm surprised by the sheer amount of comments condoning your utter and absolute disrespect for you mother. Part of being an adult is not doing what you want, but being prepared to make sacrifices for the people you love no matter how much you disagree with their values.

You may be 18 on paper, but at heart you will still be a child for a long time.

Reply 16

truthandtragedy

16

Original post by Arielle

Old fashioned word for prostitute.

Thanks!

Reply 17

KissMyArtichoke

11

Original post by fist of the south star

I'm surprised by the sheer amount of comments condoning your utter and absolute disrespect for you mother. Part of being an adult is not doing what you want, but being prepared to make sacrifices for the people you love no matter how much you disagree with their values.

You may be 18 on paper, but at heart you will still be a child for a long time.

To be honest I think her mother is being completely unreasonable, it sounds like she has made no attempt to voice her concerns reasonably and has instead taken to childish name calling. I have absolute sympathy with OP, how could you expect her to abstain from sex because her mother holds some prudish, archaic idea that it is somehow 'dirty'?

Reply 18

madders94

18

Original post by fist of the south star

I'm surprised by the sheer amount of comments condoning your utter and absolute disrespect for you mother. Part of being an adult is not doing what you want, but being prepared to make sacrifices for the people you love no matter how much you disagree with their values.

You may be 18 on paper, but at heart you will still be a child for a long time.