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Things just arn't the same anymore - Family Probs Watch

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    • Thread Starter

    Sorry this is a bit long but I need somewhere to get all this off my chest....

    Basically I am 20 things with folks hasnt be great since I was a teenager, general rows etc, family generally disagrees with certain things etc. My grandad lives with my parents and it this has caused a lot of arguments also and its not something I want to be involved in - personally think its mean.

    Generally after moving areas when I was 14 - I went into typical moody teenager mode, got depressed, threatened to kill myself, self harmed, smoked, drank - basically generally upset my parents. Got myself a boyfriend (who I was actually with for 3 years) but my parents didn't really like him - first love I thought it was all good. Parents didnt approve I had sex at a young age.

    Things started to get a little better, I broke up with my ex at 17, and started seeing someone else and to be fair my mum used to drive me to his (he lived 30 mile away) and she'd let him stay over - parents seem to quite like him. Family rows got quiet bad between my parents and my moody teenage sister and with my grandad also - I wanted out and at the last minute decided to go to uni where my partner was so I moved out into halls. At first everything was alright, mum used to phone me for a few hours a week and she would pick me up most weekends so I could come home. Decided that summer to stay at uni and not come home and thats when things started getting worse, me and my mum stopped talking as much and I hardly ever saw my family. This summer I had to come home as I ran out of money and as my partner finished uni he too was back living at his parents, needless to say my parents would drive me down to his at weekends etc. I started working at my mums office and things were ok between us - but back at home arguments kept coming, not involving me but things I didnt want to hear.
    Anyway me and my partner moved in together in August and I am officially moved out from my parents - they said they were happy for us etc. I saw them the day I got the keys to our place as they bought some of my stuff down in the car, but then until December we hardly spoke (odd text here and there) and didn't see each other at all. Then a few weeks ago they came down on two occasions bought us a Christmas tree and a new microwave - which in all fairness was nice of them so I thought we might be back on track.
    My partner drove me back on xmas eve as my folks said they were too busy to pick me up, arguments started pretty much within the hour as my sister and folks had an argument about her boyfriend who wanting picking up late on boxing day. (just for a bit of background my sister has had about 6 different BFs in the last year although her latest one my parents seem to be somewhat fond off - sun shines out of his ass!)

    Christmas morning dad got really angry at my grandad, I decided to shut myself in the dining room drink in hand, singing along to songs, got a bit drunk too quick and had to go lie down, must have fallen asleep but I get woken to mental screaming from my sister yelling at my dad she hopes he dies, my sister slamming her door, my mum in tears, everyone yelling. Needless to say I thought it was a joke, I just walked out, christmas dress on and went for a walk - ended up in the freezing cold about a mile away sitting in a field in the snow...about half hour later I had 15 calls from my mum and sister and partner (after my mum phoned him telling him a load of rubbish) telling me to come home and not to 'ruin christmas' - eventually I went back after about a hour, but I made it clear I was only doing so because I was so cold and not because I approved our their fighting. I had cold christmas dinner on my own at 4pm. Not exactly very christmassy.

    I feel like such an outsider whenever Im back at my parents, they don't seem interested in the majority of things I say, infact they normally start getting annoyed about the amount I want to talk about - its not my fault we don't talk for 3 months or so at a time. I can't help but think my sister has become somewhat favoured even though she has put them through hell the last few years, she didn't go to uni and lives at home rent free, my parents will do anything for her, and yet if I phone my mum for a chat shes always too busy, or just won't answer the phone - normally she won't even text me back, its just a horrible situation to be in. I mean last week before I came home, she text me to tell me she wont be picking me up and asked if my partner was staying over for new year. I told her I wouldnt be there and she got annoyed about it and yet my sister and her bf (of a whole 1 month) are going to a house party and she's fine with that...

    Maybe Im jealous who knows but my mum definetly seems to treat my sister better than me, my sister is 17 and works part time in a supermarket, her bf is 24 and works part time at the same place and yet she seems to get everything. Im 20 and final year of uni and my partner is 21 and works full time and yet we seem to be the ones she disapproves of, I don't know, maybe she just doesnt like the fact I don't live there but how can I be blamed for that when my family just can't get along....

    Repress and move on. T'is my plan.
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Updated: December 28, 2010
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