Mess.
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Inspired by the 'Annoying Customers' thread

I shall begin with two stories to lighten the mood :awesome:

A couple of male customers today were teasing the girl in work. They kept asking for her number and then saying her cheeky smile means she hasn't got a boyfriend and she should make sure she remembers to put her number in the bag as well. She is 19 they were hitting 50 :mmm:
Oh and then after that they were asking her about the underwear. So she showed them the underwear and he proceeded to ask her where the 'stash' was. She was incredibly confused so he turned to his mate, opened his pants and pointed at his ****. Saying "yano the stash" :rofl2: And then he turned round to her mid zip up and said "I need an XL, not trying to imply I have a massive ****, just telling you I have." And then walked out :rofl3:

Although, even better was some customers winding eachother up :awesome:
A lad trying a coat on and his mates walk in:
"It doesn't matter how nice that coat is your shoes are so **** they ruin everything." :rofl:
Then the other lad I work with is basically doubled over in laughter and walks away, so the lads mates are then saying:
"Look what you have done to the poor lad, he can't even look at you, your **** shoes are knocking him sick."
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c101
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LOL"
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I<3Vans
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Okies so I used to work at Arsenal FC on matchdays you know in the food kiosks as a cashier, I served this guy a gourmet burger which was about £5 on its own (ripoff), he took a big bit into it and said "Do you have any ketchup, this burger is dryer than a nana's c**t".

I burst out laughing haha, fun times. I miss the Arsenal days. :moon:
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nerimon18
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That first story was disgusting how ugly were those lecturous old men?
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Katq
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The first story was annoying and perving customers, not funny at all.
I thinkI'd report it if two 50 year old men almost showed me their dicks at work.
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Arcanine
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(Original post by Katq)
The first story was annoying and perving customers, not funny at all.
I thinkI'd report it if two 50 year old men almost showed me their dicks at work.
You're an uptight ******* then.
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rylit91
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Op and I<3Vans - those people are vile and vulgar. Not a funny story, more a tragic one that such people exist.
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Katq
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(Original post by Arcanine)
You're an uptight ******* then.
If disliking being perved on by 50 year old creepy men is uptight, then I might just be so.
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doloroushazy
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that first story sounds so traumatising, I'd probably need counselling if I was that girl. I hate it when creepy old men hit on me ahhh
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Mastermind`
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:rofl2:

First story is ****ing hilarious.
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ViralRiver
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Counselling because an older man was hitting on you? Wow...
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Steph90
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(Original post by Katq)
If disliking being perved on by 50 year old creepy men is uptight, then I might just be so.
There is a difference between disliking and getting all hysterical about it. Also its not an offence he did not actually show his penis, so what would you report him for?

I also think you are forgetting that older people have feelings too. :yes:
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Ilovewords
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I had a really horrible customer once I was serving at work. I work in a childrens toy department and the conversation ended with her throwing a box, at my head.

It was a thomas the tank engine box too which made it hurt more
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theths
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(Original post by rylit91)
Op and I<3Vans - those people are vile and vulgar. Not a funny story, more a tragic one that such people exist.
that's pushing it a bit, but it would probably put me on edge slightly if i was already in a bad mood

or if they were ugly.
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username196545
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First story's a bit gross actually.

Hmm, funny stories; working at a festival, I'm a barmaid, customer: "Okay so I know it's a bit strange to ask so I'm just gonna come right out and say it: Are any of selling drugs round the back?" :lolwut:

And generally serving pillheads/people so high on MDMA they don't even know where they are.
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Katq
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(Original post by Steph90)
There is a difference between disliking and getting all hysterical about it. Also its not an offence he did not actually show his penis, so what would you report him for?

I also think you are forgetting that older people have feelings too. :yes:
I meant dislike, not hysterical. I don't know, if two older men were opening their pants, talking about their penis and asking for my number at my work, I'd probably tell someone about it.
Older men do have feelings yes, but so do younger women.
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aeterno
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After purchasing something a customer leans forward and whispers to me 'Where's the nearest place to get a pack of condoms? I have a feeling I'm going to get laid when I give my girlfriend her present and I want to be prepared.' After trying not to laugh, and telling him, he proceeds to run out of the store with a silly grin on his face at realising the nearest place is just across the street.

We had a rather enthusiastic customer who kept saying how wonderful everything was. 'Oh what an absolutely wonderful store this is!' 'Oh what wonderful service!' 'Oh how brilliantly wonderful! A receipt!' Then he went around high fiving everyone and calling them wonderful. Odd but still.
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Steph90
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(Original post by Katq)
I meant dislike, not hysterical. I don't know, if two older men were opening their pants, talking about their penis and asking for my number at my work, I'd probably tell someone about it.
Older men do have feelings yes, but so do younger women.
I was just joking. Ofcourse its gross (still funny though :tongue:)

I don't know about the reporting part though. I know some girls who would just laugh it off even though they are disgusted really and others that would probably smack the old men round the head and dial 999.
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Katq
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(Original post by Steph90)
I was just joking. Ofcourse its gross (still funny though :tongue:)

I don't know about the reporting part though. I know some girls who would just laugh it off even though they are disgusted really and others that would probably smack the old men round the head and dial 999.
Haha, ok no worries. Sorry if I come across as so serious, I just sometimes forget to put smilies in my posts.



(Original post by aeterno)
After purchasing something a customer leans forward and whispers to me 'Where's the nearest place to get a pack of condoms? I have a feeling I'm going to get laid when I give my girlfriend her present and I want to be prepared.' After trying not to laugh, and telling him, he proceeds to run out of the store with a silly grin on his face at realising the nearest place is just across the street.

We had a rather enthusiastic customer who kept saying how wonderful everything was. 'Oh what an absolutely wonderful store this is!' 'Oh what wonderful service!' 'Oh how brilliantly wonderful! A receipt!' Then he went around high fiving everyone and calling them wonderful. Odd but still.
Love this, lol.
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Steph90
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(Original post by aeterno)
After purchasing something a customer leans forward and whispers to me 'Where's the nearest place to get a pack of condoms? I have a feeling I'm going to get laid when I give my girlfriend her present and I want to be prepared.' After trying not to laugh, and telling him, he proceeds to run out of the store with a silly grin on his face at realising the nearest place is just across the street.

We had a rather enthusiastic customer who kept saying how wonderful everything was. 'Oh what an absolutely wonderful store this is!' 'Oh what wonderful service!' 'Oh how brilliantly wonderful! A receipt!' Then he went around high fiving everyone and calling them wonderful. Odd but still.
Lol, both stories are funny.

I wouldn't mind working in retail if every customer was interesting/stupid/funny/awkward in some way and all the other people working there were too. A bit like Charlie and the Choclate Factory. Instead, almost everybody is extremely bland and boring. I only ever did 6-7 days (split across 3 weeks) and couldn't hack it.
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