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Best way to break up with someone Watch

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    #1

    I love him, but it's not working and that's clear, I can't do this anymore.

    Would the best way to slowly ease away from him? So rather than delivering one cold blow, begin to retreat, see him less, text him less, be less chatty and so on. So it feels more like a natural breakdown rather than something I forced?

    For around a month he's been horrible to me really really nasty, but I can't force myself to say "it's ended", because I know how bad he will take it.

    I am being selfish?
    Would this be the right way to end it?
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    Explain to him why it isn't working out and just be honest.
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    If he's been really horrible to you then just tell him straight, it's not like you have a duty to spare the feelings of an *******. "You've been a **** to me recently so we're done."
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    (Original post by Davezk)
    Explain to him why it isn't working out and just be honest.
    I've tried for a month, I don't want to hurt him,- I want him to think it's my fault and be left with no feelings for me
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    My friend got a card for xmas from her bf which said "your dumped, merry xmas"

    Dont do it just thought i would tell people or ? :P
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I've tried for a month, I don't want to hurt him,- I want him to think it's my fault and be left with no feelings for me
    A break up always hurts, you can't escape that. It's better you just do it and do you both a favour so you can just get on with your lives.
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    (Original post by Knighted)
    My friend got a card for xmas from her bf which said "your dumped, merry xmas"

    Dont do it just thought i would tell people or ? :P
    Urgh I couldn't do it.
    I need him to hate me, or have little feelings for me. I need to be the one who acts like a **** or something.
    I can't know I hurt him :/

    But I can't be with him.
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    (Original post by Davezk)
    A break up always hurts, you can't escape that. It's better you just do it and do you both a favour so you can just get on with your lives.
    I want him to hate me though, so he can move on and not be hurt as much as I know it will hurt him otherwise? :/
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    Have sex and then tell him after blowing his ****
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    bite the bullet and do it!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Urgh I couldn't do it.
    I need him to hate me, or have little feelings for me. I need to be the one who acts like a **** or something.
    I can't know I hurt him :/

    But I can't be with him.
    It's break up with him, or be with someone who you've admitted treats you like ****. Your choice.

    If you do choose the sensible option, it's best just to do it, not drag it out.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want him to hate me though, so he can move on and not be hurt as much as I know it will hurt him otherwise? :/
    You want to hurt him systematically over the coming weeks and crush his soul to the point where he can't stand to be with the person he was once in love with, because otherwise getting dumped might make him a bit sad? Great plan broski
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I want him to hate me though, so he can move on and not be hurt as much as I know it will hurt him otherwise? :/
    He won't need to hate you to get over it. Just say you want to break up and don't think you should be friends either. He will get over it with time.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I need him to hate me, or have little feelings for me. I need to be the one who acts like a **** or something.
    No you don't, I know you think that by hating you he'll move on quicker, but you do not need to compromise yourself. As the song goes, breaking up is hard to do - but in the long run, it'll be better for you both by being open and honest than considering every avenue on how he'll take it and his perception of you - you're not responsible for his emotions and you cannot control how he feels.
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    (Original post by JCC-MGS)
    You want to hurt him systematically over the coming weeks and crush his soul to the point where he can't stand to be with the person he was once in love with, because otherwise getting dumped might make him a bit sad? Great plan broski
    Because otherwise, i'd be:

    "You've treated me like **** for four weeks, i've tried to tell you, i've given you space and time and yet you're still doing it".

    I'd be blaming him, he'd be the one who hates himself, he's very sensitive, and emotional.
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    make sure its what you really want and then tell him straight.

    its better not to meet up to tell him just call him, other wise he could say I would treat you differently, i was busy lap lap lap lap.

    good luck.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Because otherwise, i'd be:

    "You've treated me like **** for four weeks, i've tried to tell you, i've given you space and time and yet you're still doing it".

    I'd be blaming him, he'd be the one who hates himself, he's very sensitive, and emotional.
    He probably would, for a couple of weeks. Then he'd start drinking and have a drunken epiphany, realise that he was a **** after all, and live a fulfilling life. That or he winds up overdosing from depression and gets found in a canal somewhere with a syringe in his eyeball, either way it's a better idea than sustained emotional sabotage just so that he gets the wrong idea about why your relationship soured. He is a **** and he should have to deal with that hard truth.
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    (Original post by israa)
    make sure its what you really want and then tell him straight.

    its better not to meet up to tell him just call him, other wise he could say I would treat you differently, i was busy lap lap lap lap.

    good luck.
    Thank you, and to everyone.
    I hope you all stay healthy, safe and happy.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by JCC-MGS)
    He probably would, for a couple of weeks. Then he'd start drinking and have a drunken epiphany, realise that he was a **** after all, and live a fulfilling life. That or he winds up overdosing from depression and gets found in a canal somewhere with a syringe in his eyeball, either way it's a better idea than sustained emotional sabotage just so that he gets the wrong idea about why your relationship soured. He is a **** and he should have to deal with that hard truth.
    You speak wise words and I thank you for that.
    It's just I've been heart and I can't do that to someone else.

    I'll probably just stay with him
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    Dragging it out is probably the worst thing you can do. It's a horrible feeling, and if anything, it makes him feel as if he'd be doing something wrong more, as he'd be thinking "why is she going off of me? what am I doing wrong?" Dump him outright. You don't have to give him a reason, just say "I don't think this is working" or something along those lines. It may hurt more in the short run, but in the long run, he's far better off.
 
 
 
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