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I could really use some advice. Watch

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    I'm going to start out by saying it rather blunt, I'm in love with my best friend (let's call her Veronica). We've known each other for many years now, and she's always been there to help me when I needed her, and she's always listened to me and cared for me and loved me as a friend. And I've also done the same for her, and also loved her as a friend. However some stuff went down and her and her boyfriend (let's call him Jimmy), who she lives with, broke up. She went out with some other guy (let's call him Harold). Harold and I are acquaintances, he for some reason trusted me enough to come to me for advice regarding his new girlfriend, Veronica. So I went along with it and tried helping him, but I found myself realizing that I myself am in love with Veronica, my best friend. I tried ignoring my feelings for her at first. So I started secretly formulating my own agenda to win her over from the two of them, under the guise of helping both Harold and Jimmy out.

    Harold had come to me asking for advice because they had sex in the few days that they went out, and then Veronica disappeared, she dropped off the face of the Earth, and even went so far as to delete her Facebook. I was unable to reach her through any medium for a few days. Then she reactivated her Facebook account and we started talking, she explained what was going on. She got back together with Jimmy, and Harold was heartbroken. Well after talking to Jimmy, who she had been dating for a year, I started to feel a little bad because I was secretly trying to take his girl from him. Really,a ll I want is for Veronica to be happy though, and if she's happier with another man than she is with me, then I'm happy for her and I'm still always going to be there for her. Two days ago (about two weeks after she broke up with Jimmy) I gave in and finally told Veronica that I am in love with her. She didn't know how to respond, I really threw her off (she used to have a crush on me a few years ago, but I never picked up on her hints, and so nothing happened).

    Veronica told me that she's just a girl, and that she doesn't know why in the past couple of weeks she's had 6 other men tell her that they are in love with her (so it would appear that I have atleast 6 other competitors). I told her that she's more than just a girl to me, and she said that they all said that, we then proceeded talking some more. She's really confused and doesn't know what to do or who to choose. Veronica, Jimmy, and Harold all got into a big fight via Facebook messages. I was in the conversation too, but I just observed after being told it's none of my business (which it isn't), and I don't think Harold and Jimmy know I'm in love with Veronica. Jimmy said that he was "giving up" and that he can never hold on to the people he loves and that he's trash. Harold tried comforting Jimmy, despite everything they had been through. And Veronica updated her Facebook status to say that she's done with relationships for now, but she never changed her relationship status to single, and neither did Jimmy.

    I asked Veronica if everything is okay, and she said she didn't want to talk to me, and so I respected her wishes. The three of them were really fighting pretty bad, all over a girl. I hope she's going to be okay though, I've never seen her like this before, she's always so strong, and now it's like her entire life is falling apart, I'm worried about her. I don't know what to do, I'm in love with her and would do anything for her. And now she doesn't even want to talk to me, which I understand, after what just happened (Since I was also in the message, I read the conversation between Harold, Jimmy, and Veronica, they weren't good, not good at all). I pretty much never come to the internet for real life advice, but I could really use some good anonymous advice right about now. Please, please help me, I really want to be with this girl, and I want her to be happy. She's amazing and she's the only woman I have ever truly been in love with before.

    In case you're wondering, I just turned 18, Veronica is 17, Jimmy is like 19 or 20, and Harold is like 18. Veronica and I go to the same high school and are both seniors, whereas Jimmy dropped out a few years ago, and Harold moved or got expelled or something. Her and Harold have some history from like freshman year or sophomore year. I'm not sure who the other four or five (I'm not sure if she was counting Jimmy since they are together now, or atleast they were two days ago) guys who are trying to get her are. I only know of me, Jimmy, and Harold. Also, their big fight just ended about an hour ago, and that's around the same time she told me she didn't want to talk.
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    Find a weakness in those other guys, this will give you the lead.
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    TL;DR.
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    I think that first of all you made a mistake by entering a fight that was not yours (the one between the girl and the two guys on FB). You should have waited for her to turn to you for advice, if she needed any.

    Said that, I think that your situation is ambivalent. On one hand, you stand the best chance to win her heart, because you have been friends for a long time, and you seem to know her quite well. On the other hand, in my experience, what girls fear most in such situations is to "ruin the friendship" in case they got together with their best male friend and the relationship falls apart for some reason.

    All you can do now that she is evidently confused is to give her time to reflect upon the whole situation and upon what she wants. Eventually she will be the one talking to you again. Maybe she will be telling you that she loves you too, or maybe not. Be prepared to accept any decision she may have made, always be a gentleman and make sure she knows you are there for her, but don't exaggerate (first-hand experience again :P).

    And, even if things don't go well, you will still have a friend and one not-too-far day, a girlfriend who will make you feel special as you are.
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    (Original post by dshadow)
    I think that first of all you made a mistake by entering a fight that was not yours (the one between the girl and the two guys on FB). You should have waited for her to turn to you for advice, if she needed any.

    Said that, I think that your situation is ambivalent. On one hand, you stand the best chance to win her heart, because you have been friends for a long time, and you seem to know her quite well. On the other hand, in my experience, what girls fear most in such situations is to "ruin the friendship" in case they got together with their best male friend and the relationship falls apart for some reason.

    All you can do now that she is evidently confused is to give her time to reflect upon the whole situation and upon what she wants. Eventually she will be the one talking to you again. Maybe she will be telling you that she loves you too, or maybe not. Be prepared to accept any decision she may have made, always be a gentleman and make sure she knows you are there for her, but don't exaggerate (first-hand experience again :P).

    And, even if things don't go well, you will still have a friend and one not-too-far day, a girlfriend who will make you feel special as you are.
    Thanks, I guess you're right.
 
 
 
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