Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I've had quite a lot of bad experiences with guys and find it quite hard to trust them, none of the bad things happened too recently but I think has affected me still.

    I don't know what my problem is though, if a guy wants to have sex with me and I don't really want to I can never find the will power to tell him to **** off, I just let him get on with it. It's happened a good few times now.

    If you can't be bothered to read the whole thread, the last paragraph is most relevant.

    Like the first time I felt like that, it was after a party and I was walking with this stupid boy back to my friends house, and suddenly he decides he wants to have sex with me. I was like ridiculously drunk and sitting down and suddenly he decided he would make me suck him off. When he realised you can't force someone to give you head he tried having sex with me. Nothing happened cos I was like crying a bit and kept my legs firmly crossed and said I didn't want to but the thing is, why didn't I just tell him to f off and kick him in the balls!?

    This other time I was at a house party and I slept with a guy who's kinda a sex buddy which was all cool, but then his gross smelly friend decided he wanted to have sex with me too. I was just in a bed trying to get to sleep and I was quite drunk and I would say he took advantage of me cos I didn't WANT to, he just got on top of me and I did nothing. But for some reason I didn't tell him to f off even though he probably would have.

    And the reason I'm posting this thread is because last night after I went clubbing I said this guy could stay over cos he was an old friend and "apparently" couldn't get home. I slept with him in the past and suspected one of the reasons he wanted to stay over was because he wanted something to happen but I told myself nothing would. Again, I was drunk (but things like this have happened sober as well). I got him a duvet for the sofa and we were watching tv and he kept trying to finger me and I was like noo but was still cuddled up to him. He wouldn't stop trying even though I was like nah kinda thing but eventually I let him. Then he asked me if I wanted to have sex and I was like "no", and he was liken "why, we've done it before" and I was trying to tell him I didn't want to be a **** any more and knew I would regret it. But he kept asking and I kept saying no, eventually he just got on top of me and had sex with me. Afterwards I got a bit upset, I don't know why, and he was all "what's wrong" trying to be nice, but I was just like "go home" and went upstairs to bed.

    So can anyone understand why I do these things? It makes me feel so **** about myself and I always wish I had just been firm and walked away.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Tell me more...
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Grow up mentally or you will stay a **** for life!
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Man up?

    Nah, just don't let yourself get into those situations.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)

    Like the first time I felt like that, it was after a party and I was walking with this stupid boy back to my friends house, and suddenly he decides he wants to have sex with me. I was like ridiculously drunk and sitting down and suddenly he decided he would make me suck him off. When he realised you can't force someone to give you head he tried having sex with me. Nothing happened cos I was like crying a bit and kept my legs firmly crossed and said I didn't want to but the thing is, why didn't I just tell him to f off and kick him in the balls!?

    but then his gross smelly friend decided he wanted to have sex with me too. I was just in a bed trying to get to sleep and I was quite drunk and I would say he took advantage of me cos I didn't WANT to

    And the reason I'm posting this thread is because last night after I went clubbing I said this guy could stay over cos he was an old friend and "apparently" couldn't get home. I slept with him in the past and suspected one of the reasons he wanted to stay over was because he wanted something to happen but I told myself nothing would. Again, I was drunk (but things like this have happened sober as well). I got him a duvet for the sofa and we were watching tv and he kept trying to finger me and I was like noo but was still cuddled up to him. He wouldn't stop trying even though I was like nah kinda thing but eventually I let him. Then he asked me if I wanted to have sex and I was like "no", and he was liken "why, we've done it before" and I was trying to tell him I didn't want to be a **** any more and knew I would regret it. But he kept asking and I kept saying no, eventually he just got on top of me and had sex with me. Afterwards I got a bit upset, I don't know why

    So can anyone understand why I do these things? It makes me feel so **** about myself
    sounds like rape tbh
    and a bit slutty :confused:
    you need to control your self
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I just wanna be loved
    Thanks for the responses... I'm not a bad person, guys just always assume I'm really easy and I'm trying to stop it but it's hard. I have no respect for myself and doubt they have any for me either.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    You're a p***y.

    Probably.

    TL;DR.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just wanna be loved

    I have no respect for myself and doubt they have any for me either.
    There's your answer - if you don't care about yourself, don't expect others to. Some of your stories are very concerning: you don't need any of us to tell you what it is when you're telling someone no and they go ahead and do it anyway.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I just wanna be loved
    Thanks for the responses... I'm not a bad person, guys just always assume I'm really easy and I'm trying to stop it but it's hard. I have no respect for myself and doubt they have any for me either.
    Guys wont love you if you let them disrespect you like that. It sounds like you aren't hanging round with the 'right' sort of people, as i cant say i've ever had the experience of a guy trying to have sex with me despite saying no and not seemingly willing.

    It sounds like you need to start proving to people that you wont spread your legs for just anyone, and stop sleeping around. Guys have more respect for women that arent easy...and everyone loves a chase, so let them work harder before you sleep with them!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    If these guys know each other then its more than likely that they've told each other that your pretty easy even if you say no. Thus why they don't stop when you say no.

    If it happens again just threaten to call the police.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Oh wow.
    Don't...see boys anymore?
    Don't drink too much, don't go to all these parties, just stick with females.
    And after 2 months of not having communication with any boys, go for 'nice guys' who wouldn't tell you they fancied you until you actually ask them out.
    Make sure this new person would never guess you acted like a complete slut (because you can't say no, of course).
    Develop meaningful and caring relationship with boy, gain confidence, voila!
    Very specific instructions I doubt you'll follow, but it seems foolproof!
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    You is a ho
    Offline

    14
    ReputationRep:
    Seems like every time you've been a dirty **** alcohol has been involved. Here's a tip, STOP DRINKING SO MUCH, or maybe stop drinking altogether. When you start to appreciate self-respect then others will respect you too.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheSadReaper)
    sounds like rape tbh
    and a bit slutty :confused:
    you need to control your self
    Isn't that a contradiction?
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Don't let yourself get into that kind of situation. Don't invite boys to stay over, if someone starts touching you say no and get up to leave immediately, etc. Also, you probably don't say no very firmly. Say it like you mean it, and get angry with them. You should be angry with them tbh, you aren't just some toy that people can play with, if you say no they should back off. Obviously they don't because they think you don't mean it (which seems to be true really), but if you're serious make sure they know you are.

    You sound like you have really low self-esteem. Letting guys have sex with you won't change that, it will make you feel worse because you know that they don't actually like you.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: December 28, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Brussels sprouts
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.