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Should I tell him were Brothers? Watch

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    I'll do my best to cut a long story short.

    I am 19. I have a full brother who is 20 and a half brother who is 24. My half brother lives 15minutes away from my home. He work's in Game station in the shopping centre, so I often see him out and about. The problem is that I know were half brothers but he doesn't. He was brought up with his mum and his mum's boyfriend believing that this man was his real dad. The thing is, as far as I know this man who raised my half brother has been there for him every step of the way and has raised him as his own, and has been a great father figure. However it hurts me so much when I see my H bro. I just want to tell him. But our real dad has never been involved in any of our lives so I think what good will it do even if he did know? but then I think if I tell him at least we'll have each other. My full brother's girlfriend Is having a baby next year so I would of loved to tell my half bro he is going to be an uncle. I don't want to be the one to break the news to him. I wish his mum would tell him, but somehow I cant see that happening. What do you guy's think I should do?
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    If this is real (it sounds like something off Jeremy Kyle) then of course you shouldn't tell him! He has a man who he believes to be his father and his whole life would be called into question if you told him the truth. You say your dad isn't around so your half-brother has nothing to gain apart from you and your brother (he may have other siblings and he might not want to know you). Do you actually know him or do you just see him around? If you have known him a while, won't he think it's weird that you've never said anything before? And if you don't know him he probably won't believe you, you would just be a crazy stranger. If I were him I wouldn't want to know and I probably wouldn't want to get to know you either. You need to stop seeing him and thinking about what could be as it is likely that the actual outcome won't live up to your expectations.
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    (Original post by -honeybee-)
    If this is real (it sounds like something off Jeremy Kyle) then of course you shouldn't tell him! He has a man who he believes to be his father and his whole life would be called into question if you told him the truth. You say your dad isn't around so your half-brother has nothing to gain apart from you and your brother (he may have other siblings and he might not want to know you). Do you actually know him or do you just see him around? If you have known him a while, won't he think it's weird that you've never said anything before? And if you don't know him he probably won't believe you, you would just be a crazy stranger. If I were him I wouldn't want to know and I probably wouldn't want to get to know you either. You need to stop seeing him and thinking about what could be as it is likely that the actual outcome won't live up to your expectations.
    A few times I have been standing near him in the shop and my Mum would say something to me like '' you look a lot like your brother''. I'm sure he know's she's talking about him. My half bro even used to work with me and my full bro in the matalan warehouse! I used to see him in the canteen. he was only there for about a week until he left though.
    When you say he may have other brother's, he does he has one aged 9. He has the same mum but a different dad. the dad is the same one he was brought up by. It's just so hard walking through the mall walking past him as though were strangers. It feel's to me that he's my brother who's ignoring me when in fact to him i'm just another person walking past. I feel that maybe I shouldn't of been told that he was my brother as he hasn't been told.
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    wow thats interesting...why dont u ask ur mum to tell him? or like both of u tell him together? or discuss it with her first? because maybe they dont want him knowing and if u tell him then there could be a lot of drama....
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    You could try (discreetly) talking to his Mum and seeing what she says. She might let you two meet or something - although it is asking a lot and you'd have to respect her decision.
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    I have thought about that in the past . I have even considered driving round to his home and confronting his mother and telling him but I decided against it. I just want us as brothers to be just that. at least get to know each other.
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    How do you know he's your half-brother? Does he even know you exist?
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    (Original post by Tyraell)
    You could try (discreetly) talking to his Mum and seeing what she says. She might let you two meet or something - although it is asking a lot and you'd have to respect her decision.
    Man it's so awkward. My family don't know how emotional I feel about this. My full brother never mentions it. he is to busy spending all his time with his girlfriend and friends that he doesn't have time to care about his half bro knowing or not. But for me I think about it every day. It feels that I have lost my half bro in a way. My dad has caused all this. I hate him for it
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    What if either of you needs a kidney in the future? TELL HIM! (Is your mum telling the truth though?)
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    (Original post by Bubbles*de*Milo)
    How do you know he's your half-brother? Does he even know you exist?
    His mum even used to say to me that me and him look so much a-like. Its a fact we are brothers. even the man who brought him up knows it's not his son.
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    (Original post by Hot Sauce)
    What if either of you needs a kidney in the future? TELL HIM! (Is your mum telling the truth though?)
    My half brothers mum said years ago that he (my brother) never needs to know who his real dad is. But she doesn't seem to realise that it's not just about the dad. it's about me, my other brother and my brothers baby
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      Northern people...
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      Don't tell him.
      It's unfair to mess with his mind like this just because YOU want to tell him.
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      (Original post by markberry91)
      My half brothers mum said years ago that he (my brother) never needs to know who his real dad is. But she doesn't seem to realise that it's not just about the dad. it's about me, my other brother and my brothers baby
      Ok well I think that if I was him I'd want to know. He is very lucky that a man has stepped in to his biological fathers shoes and brought him up as his own. He is a 20 year old man who should be mature enough to respect what his dad has done for him. He will probably be confused about his real father but should remember that the man who's been there for him is his dad.

      You, though, are his flesh and blood and he should have the choice about whether he wants to get to know you. I wouldn't know how to go about telling him but I think he should know. His mother is just trying to protect herself because she knows that her son is going to question being lied to for his whole life but hopefully the introduction of his brothers would be a positive experience overall for him.
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      Okay thanks guy's! Most of you say don't tell him while a few of you say do tell him. But if you were in my situation would you act differently?
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      (Original post by markberry91)
      Okay thanks guy's! Most of you say don't tell him while a few of you say do tell him. But if you were in my situation would you act differently?
      How would you feel if you were told your Mum wasn't your real mum?
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      (Original post by Hot Sauce)
      Ok well I think that if I was him I'd want to know. He is very lucky that a man has stepped in to his biological fathers shoes and brought him up as his own. He is a 20 year old man who should be mature enough to respect what his dad has done for him. He will probably be confused about his real father but should remember that the man who's been there for him is his dad.

      You, though, are his flesh and blood and he should have the choice about whether he wants to get to know you. I wouldn't know how to go about telling him but I think he should know. His mother is just trying to protect herself because she knows that her son is going to question being lied to for his whole life but hopefully the introduction of his brothers would be a positive experience overall for him.
      No he's 24. my other brother (same mum and dad) is 20. My half bro is 24 (the one who doesn't know) Yes I understand were your coming from and I shall take your advice on board. thanks pal
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      (Original post by markberry91)
      ....
      talk to his mother OP, see what she says.

      Does this remind anyone of One Tree Hill, just a little bit. Anyone?
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      there are some people who just dont want anymore family members than the ones they have now. Im in a similar position (dad got a new family) to you and i really will appreciate it if my 1/2 siblings dont try to contact me. I just feel like they would try to do it to make themselves feel better about something while im just fine the way i am. If this is real something tells me your half brother already knows but choses to ignore it.
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      (Original post by markberry91)
      No he's 24. my other brother (same mum and dad) is 20. My half bro is 24 (the one who doesn't know) Yes I understand were your coming from and I shall take your advice on board. thanks pal
      Ignore most of these comments , he has a right to know regardless , its up to him how he deals with it . Op you only live once , your not being selfiness tell him but I know for fact by your comments you won't be able to live with yourself knowing that you didn't tell him . Imagine when you have your last moments in this world , and you regret so much on the missed opportunities of hapiness and joy you could've had with your half brother .Also He has a right to know , so ignore these silly comments , he knows his dad is the guy who raised him ( regardless of genetics or not because personally I would consider the person who raised me not the guy who simply impreganted my mum ) . Good luck you know this is the right decision thats why you posted your issue . Forget the negative outcomes and realize life is about risks and your risk is how your brother will take this news . But utimately this is up to you , wheter you take this step or not but think it through , instead of listening to us who barely know you , we can really only guide you in your decision .

      This comment is based on if this is true or not , theres gaps in your message what makes you seem like your trolling . Good luck
     
     
     
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