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Oral sex: is my friend right? Watch

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    I have health issues to do with breathing nasally (as in, can't be done without undergoing surgery first, which I'm not keen on whatsoever - think it's more dangerous than beneficial) and various throat problems that ultimately end up with a gag reflex triggered by eating, let alone putting something down it, that prevent me from being able to give oral sex.

    Whilst I haven't discussed my exact problems with my friends (think sex is a private matter), I have been involved in conversations where male friends dismissing girls who won't give oral sex, and female friends report boyfriends expecting oral sex or breaking up with them. All leads me to believe I'm doomed.

    Are my friends right, am I never going to be able to get and subsequently keep a boyfriends? Guys, would a girlfriend not giving you oral sex lead to breaking up? Obviously wouldn't expect to get it back, but then I'm also asexual, so any sex wouldn't be for my benefit.
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    I don't think it'll matter as long as the guy actually likes you. If he's understanding, you might still even get it! Oh yeah, asexual, you wouldn't want it anyway.

    All's good, don't worry
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    A decent guy wouldn't break up with a girl for not wanting/able to give oral sex. Any guy who would consider that a genuine reason to break up with someone is clearly an idiot so would only be doing you a favour.
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    (Original post by GdotL)
    Sown Rose girl right?
    Wrong. :p:
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    A guy who'd dump you for not doing oral is a prick, as long as you're not leaving sexually unsatisfied it's all good yo.
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    Don't be daft, any guy who will break up with you for not blowing him isn't worth the effort. Especially if it's for a proper reason like not being able to breathe.

    Don't fret
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have health issues to do with breathing nasally (as in, can't be done without undergoing surgery first, which I'm not keen on whatsoever - think it's more dangerous than beneficial) and various throat problems that ultimately end up with a gag reflex triggered by eating, let alone putting something down it, that prevent me from being able to give oral sex.

    Whilst I haven't discussed my exact problems with my friends (think sex is a private matter), I have been involved in conversations where male friends dismissing girls who won't give oral sex, and female friends report boyfriends expecting oral sex or breaking up with them. All leads me to believe I'm doomed.

    Are my friends right, am I never going to be able to get and subsequently keep a boyfriends? Guys, would a girlfriend not giving you oral sex lead to breaking up? Obviously wouldn't expect to get it back, but then I'm also asexual, so any sex wouldn't be for my benefit.
    I find oral sex is a lot more important to men than it is to women. and you inability to do it may cause soem diffculty in the boyfriend deparment but i don't think you are ultimately doomed, once you find someone who really does care about you if you explain that you really can't do it he should understand, if not he doesn't deserve you.
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    Make sure you ride him aaallllllll night longggggggggg.
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    If he breaks up with you because he can't get a bj he isn't worth dating.
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    He'll only leave you if he's with you simply for sexual satisfaction.
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    Of course she's not right. :p:

    Think about the sort of guys who would do that sort of thing, they're not worth your time anyway! It kind of says it all about them really..

    But in all honest, all girls wouldn't dump a guy if he didn't want to (let alone if there were medical reasons why) the same way all guys wouldn't
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    I think that you first of all need to discuss your health problems with a specialist who can recommend the opportune alternatives to surgery -that, I understand, you are not willing to undertake.

    Said that, as a man I can assure you that not all guys believe oral sex the element upon which to base the longevity of a relationship. It's always the same story: find the right person and every piece of the puzzle fits in, smoothly and naturally, without worrying too much about who gets what and what happens if he does not get it.

    So I think you are not "doomed" at all. Just you need to choose your partner carefully, because expressing your sexuality is something that goes way beyond the pure physical dimension. And when you find the right person, you will see that oral sex becomes a small problem because there will be a lot more to share than just that.

    Cheer up and don't worry too much OK?
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    An unusual consensus on TSR. :eek:
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    (Original post by History-Student)
    Don't be daft, any guy who will break up with you for not blowing him isn't worth the effort. Especially if it's for a proper reason like not being able to breathe (eg. my gf wouldn't do it because her brother used to force her to do it to him, in no way would I have dumped her for that).

    Don't fret
    Wtf..thats so ****ed up man! What a ****!



    And OP... no need to worry, a guy who would dump you over oral sex isnt worth your time
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    You can still lick it and stuff and **** him off, so to be fair its all good....just be open minded sexually and do other things prety dam well and hardly any guy would dump you
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    A guy who didn't stay with you because you couldn't perform oral sex on him for health reasons isn't worth your time anyway!
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    (Original post by dshadow)
    I think that you first of all need to discuss your health problems with a specialist who can recommend the opportune alternatives to surgery -that, I understand, you are not willing to undertake.
    There isn't anything else left - surgery was the last option to be brought up, after all non-surgical ideas failed.

    It's a bit annoying having to breathe through my mouth, but I don't really want to risk surgery for it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    There isn't anything else left - surgery was the last option to be brought up, after all non-surgical ideas failed.

    It's a bit annoying having to breathe through my mouth, but I don't really want to risk surgery for it.
    I totally understand what you mean, and I agree with you because it seems that this problem, however annoying, is bearable

    However the main point is: oral sex is not the end of the world. Find the right guy and you will see there is going to be much more than just that
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    I could not go without it when in a relationship. If you do know of a solution for yourself, such as surgery, then try it! You'll be then free to go on with whatever you like. The surgery would not be doing anything bad to you, and your health and sex life would improve. The surgeons are specialists, although there are known transmissible diseases from hospitals, such as septicemia. But they will fix you up and you can take things to heal you faster, and boost your immunity with green barley grass powder, garlic tablets, zinc, vitamin c - best to try the health food shop or consult a naturopath for the best things for you to take. I was the same about dental surgery for a wisdom tooth removal, but it was fairly simple, and I just had to rest for about a week, feeling pain a little bit. By the way, I used clove essential oil in my mouth, and outside of it and also Myrhh essential oil. The clove numbed my pain naturally and I didn't take any allopathic pain killers. The myrhh has been used for eons, since before Jesus's time, even Jesus used aromatherapy, massage and healing for sick and injured people. Trust. Trust their training, they do it all the time.

    Also look at your diet. If you consume a lot of dairy products, then you may be stuffing your sinuses up. If you go without dairy for a while to see if your sinuses improve, then it may work for you.

    And maybe to try alternative therapies, counselling, creative expression, tuning in to yourself and your throat chakra, and release work, as it may be a psychosomatic thing, or a psychological block. You could get Bowen release work done and it may improve your physical state. I have found it very relaxing.
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    Oral sex is immoral anyway (in some cultures).

    Get married.
 
 
 
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