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Boyfriend's family are very over protective Watch

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    (Anonymous because he has an account on here!)

    I've been going out with him for a few months now and things are going well, but we never really get to see each other outside of sixth form because his family are devout Christians and don't like to leave us alone. (To the extent that on the rare occasion I am allowed round to his it's an hour or so spent forcing conversation with his parents).

    This would be okay if he could come round to mine fairly often, but my sister is autistic and has trouble being around anyone who isn't a member of the family.

    During the holidays when we aren't in school (and particularly in the cold weather) it's impractical to go out together a lot (and in any case, neither of us have enough money to go for a meal/see a film more than once a month ish).

    Any suggestions on how to assure his family that I'm not a danger to their son so that we can talk more without relying on MSN :')? (We are both 18 by the way if this helps at all xD)
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    Is there a way you can ask to talk with his mother in private? A frank private conversation might help ease her worries and show your maturity about the situation..
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    Is there a way you can ask to talk with his mother in private? A frank private conversation might help ease her worries and show your maturity about the situation..
    Thanks, I might try this :')

    Whether or not she'd believe me is another matter : p
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Thanks, I might try this :')

    Whether or not she'd believe me is another matter : p
    aye but I think it's the only realistic option. Just be sure neither he or you turn it into a heated argument since obviously you personally raising your voice will lower they're opinion of you, which is suspicious as it is, and their son being rebellious would confirm any sort of negative ideas they have of you, you corrupting their child and such like.

    Are you Christian yourself? If not you could..tell a bit of a white lie, if they're strict then I imagine they'd want their sons partner to be Christian as well. They may have negative stereotypes of Atheists.
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    aye but I think it's the only realistic option. Just be sure neither he or you turn it into a heated argument since obviously you personally raising your voice will lower they're opinion of you, which is suspicious as it is, and their son being rebellious would confirm any sort of negative ideas they have of you, you corrupting their child and such like.

    Are you Christian yourself? If not you could..tell a bit of a white lie, if they're strict then I imagine they'd want their sons partner to be Christian as well. They may have negative stereotypes of Atheists.
    I am Christian (Catholic though and they're Protestant, not a fan of us sinners :'). I think the problem is is that he is an atheist (after years of your parents forcing religion on you it doesn't surprise me) perhaps they blame me for it?

    Ergh, stress, but anyway thank you for your help! xD
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    You don't have to pay for something every time you go out. Why don't you go places that are free? Museums, parks, art galleries, that kind of thing. Or just get a coffee and sit over it a while, that wouldn't cost you much.
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    well done anonymous fail :')
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    (Original post by Angela_Beth)
    You don't have to pay for something every time you go out. Why don't you go places that are free? Museums, parks, art galleries, that kind of thing. Or just get a coffee and sit over it a while, that wouldn't cost you much.
    Going to parks etc is fine (And what we did when it was warm) but it's bloody freezing at the moment!

    Though the museums and art galleries idea is a goodun thank you!
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    (Original post by mapulet)
    I am Christian (Catholic though and they're Protestant, not a fan of us sinners :'). I think the problem is is that he is an atheist (after years of your parents forcing religion on you it doesn't surprise me) perhaps they blame me for it?

    Ergh, stress, but anyway thank you for your help! xD
    Hmm why are you a sinner is a Catholic compared to a protestant?(in their eyes). Also if they know you're Catholic how could they possibly connect you to his Atheism? They know he's an Atheist then?

    It may be cold but last week the frost made the trees look so beautiful and the lake near me was frozen over totally, amusing to see the ducks so confused and good photo opportunities if you have a decent camera. (...stop assuming everyone likes what you do Joe!...)
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    Hmm why are you a sinner is a Catholic compared to a protestant?(in their eyes). Also if they know you're Catholic how could they possibly connect you to his Atheism? They know he's an Atheist then?

    It may be cold but last week the frost made the trees look so beautiful and the lake near me was frozen over totally, amusing to see the ducks so confused and good photo opportunities if you have a decent camera. (...stop assuming everyone likes what you do Joe!...)
    Because Catholics believe in transubstantiation and pray to saints- Protestants think transubstantiation is wrong and praying to saints is sinning against God.
    (Personally I'm really in the hazy middle between protestantism and Catholicism, the technicalities don't matter to me, it's the actual belief in God that's important I think xD)

    And because him having a girlfriend at all is a sin in their eyes, they think I'm trying to turn him away from the true faith xD

    (I like photography too! You're not alone Joe : p!)
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    (Original post by mapulet)
    Because Catholics believe in transubstantiation and pray to saints- Protestants think transubstantiation is wrong and praying to saints is sinning against God.
    (Personally I'm really in the hazy middle between protestantism and Catholicism, the technicalities don't matter to me, it's the actual belief in God that's important I think xD)

    And because him having a girlfriend at all is a sin in their eyes, they think I'm trying to turn him away from the true faith xD

    (I like photography too! You're not alone Joe : p!)
    but you're both part of the true faith surely? The key part of Christianity is the belief in the Trinity and the resurrection and the acceptance of Jesus Christ as Lord and saviour? Do you actually think they disapprove of you being Catholic because of the differences you state? Anyway I thought in communion Protestants did believe they were consuming the body and blood of Christ? Vicars always seem to mention the body of Christ during it...do they think of it as symbolic where as Catholics literally think as you swallow it it actually becomes blood and flesh?

    How is having a girlfriend a sin? Logically they want him to get a partner, in this day and age arranged marriage doesn't occur...well..in our society for the most part. Obviously they will expect no sex until marriage but that's an issue for another time.

    yay for photography! I dropped my camera AGAIN last Tuesday. It didn't turn back on but I haven't had time to tinker with it as I left it in the gfs bag. I'll get it back tomorrow though, hopefully it's ok. Not an amazing camera by any means a fuji finepix S8100 but I've taken what I think are some pretty good shots, especially of my pets and other native invertebrates.
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    but you're both part of the true faith surely? The key part of Christianity is the belief in the Trinity and the resurrection and the acceptance of Jesus Christ as Lord and saviour? Do you actually think they disapprove of you being Catholic because of the differences you state? Anyway I thought in communion Protestants did believe they were consuming the body and blood of Christ? Vicars always seem to mention the body of Christ during it...do they think of it as symbolic where as Catholics literally think as you swallow it it actually becomes blood and flesh?

    How is having a girlfriend a sin? Logically they want him to get a partner, in this day and age arranged marriage doesn't occur...well..in our society for the most part. Obviously they will expect no sex until marriage but that's an issue for another time.

    yay for photography! I dropped my camera AGAIN last Tuesday. It didn't turn back on but I haven't had time to tinker with it as I left it in the gfs bag. I'll get it back tomorrow though, hopefully it's ok. Not an amazing camera by any means a fuji finepix S8100 but I've taken what I think are some pretty good shots, especially of my pets and other native invertebrates.
    Hey I agree with you on the religion thing! I think it's fine :')
    Yeah, Protestants believe in consubstantiation as opposed to transubstantiation (for the most part, there are obviously other beliefs xD)

    In his church everyone literally just gets married! Odd as that is, from what I can see they like each other, get engaged and then unless something drastic happens, they get married :')
    At the very least they don't start dating until they're adults (Which he is, but I think they had intended to have him get married without the 'dating' process).

    Stop dropping your camera you dope! I've only just started to get into it really, but I did get a nice shot of the woods with the snow etc

    And you have pets? (Sorry, unrelated but I'm currently looking at buying a puppy for when I move into a house with my friend next year xD) What type?
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    (Original post by mapulet)
    Hey I agree with you on the religion thing! I think it's fine :')
    Yeah, Protestants believe in consubstantiation as opposed to transubstantiation (for the most part, there are obviously other beliefs xD)

    In his church everyone literally just gets married! Odd as that is, from what I can see they like each other, get engaged and then unless something drastic happens, they get married :')
    At the very least they don't start dating until they're adults (Which he is, but I think they had intended to have him get married without the 'dating' process).

    Stop dropping your camera you dope! I've only just started to get into it really, but I did get a nice shot of the woods with the snow etc

    And you have pets? (Sorry, unrelated but I'm currently looking at buying a puppy for when I move into a house with my friend next year xD) What type?
    ok so consubstantiation means bread and wine aren't really Christs body but his spirit is sort of within them...and transubstantiation means they become blood and flesh once you eat them?

    Well I didn't exactly mean to I put it in the front pocket of my hoody but bent over and it fell out.

    Yes...but not puppies. Tarantulas, scorpions, millipedes, mantids etc, creepy crawlies as the annoying folk call them. Though I should have some lizards by the end of next week.
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    ok so consubstantiation means bread and wine aren't really Christs body but his spirit is sort of within them...and transubstantiation means they become blood and flesh once you eat them?

    Well I didn't exactly mean to I put it in the front pocket of my hoody but bent over and it fell out.

    Yes...but not puppies. Tarantulas, scorpions, millipedes, mantids etc, creepy crawlies as the annoying folk call them. Though I should have some lizards by the end of next week.
    Yeah, pretty much con meaning with, trans meaning through

    Ah, then all is forgiven :') I've dropped my camera a couple of times, so far no damage though.

    See I like tarantulas (can't stand normal spiders though) but the rest of them I'm afraid I'd be scared of : p
    lizards sound good though!
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    (Original post by mapulet)
    See I like tarantulas (can't stand normal spiders though) but the rest of them I'm afraid I'd be scared of : p
    lizards sound good though!
    YAY! Most female tarantula keepers I know are similar, in that they still hate house spiders because they're skinny and leggy and not fluffy.

    Guess you wouldn't like the cockroaches? Gf doesn't like em...they never feel the love from anyone! Poor bugs...
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    YAY! Most female tarantula keepers I know are similar, in that they still hate house spiders because they're skinny and leggy and not fluffy.

    Guess you wouldn't like the cockroaches? Gf doesn't like em...they never feel the love from anyone! Poor bugs...
    Yeah! I think tarantulas are so cute :') house spiders are creepy and nasty and ergh, genuine fear!

    I have nothing against cockroaches I suppose? But I also feel nothing for them, probably wouldn't be my choice of pet : p

    Though I don't blame her for being afraid of 'em, they can move pretty rapidly from what I've seen xD
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    (Original post by mapulet)
    Yeah! I think tarantulas are so cute :') house spiders are creepy and nasty and ergh, genuine fear!

    I have nothing against cockroaches I suppose? But I also feel nothing for them, probably wouldn't be my choice of pet : p

    Though I don't blame her for being afraid of 'em, they can move pretty rapidly from what I've seen xD
    meh honestly the tarantulas can move faster if they want to...some especially, like lightning. The roaches are two species of hissers, both very slow, there's also 500-1000 lobster roaches, they're..in the middle, slower then crickets, not so fast you can't pretty easily pick them up if you dropped one on the floor. The 500-1000 are live food, the hissers are mainly pets, though if any somehow escape they're fed to the A.geniculata, no one messes with the big girl!
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    (Original post by joey11223)
    meh honestly the tarantulas can move faster if they want to...some especially, like lightning. The roaches are two species of hissers, both very slow, there's also 500-1000 lobster roaches, they're..in the middle, slower then crickets, not so fast you can't pretty easily pick them up if you dropped one on the floor. The 500-1000 are live food, the hissers are mainly pets, though if any somehow escape they're fed to the A.geniculata, no one messes with the big girl!
    Wow, that's a lot of insects!

    Aww, fed to the tarantula?

    I saw aww, of course you feed the tarantula with live insects, it just didn't occur to me

    how did you get into keeping insects/tarantulas as pets?/you said you had photos of them?
 
 
 
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