There's a girl at uni whom I'm considering asking out in the New Year. We study the same subject (and therefore see each other frequently) and are good together as friends. My feelings for her have certainly grown over the last term or so. I'm not completely sure what she thinks about the possibility of turning friendship into relationship - at times she's seemed a bit more flirtatious, but for all I know perhaps I'm misreading things.
What makes me feel sort of "disadvantaged" is the fact that I've not actually had a girlfriend before (whereas she's had more than one boyfriend). In the past, I've never had the confidence to start this kind of conversation with a girl. At the same time, I've never felt so sure about how much I like someone, so I'm determined to be honest with her rather than carry on keeping all this hidden - if the answer is No, with luck it won't ruin the friendship we have.
I have an idea of where I'll go for it: there's a long, tree-lined walk the two of us take to reach one of our classes, which leads through quite a quiet area. Whatever her answer is, would it be better to be more upfront when it comes to actually asking her out (because it's open and honest), or more "subtle" (for a better atmosphere, or something like that)? Is there anything in particular that I could say to help get things going? I'd appreciate any suggestions that other TSR users may have (sensible ones, preferably...)
I would have tried telling her on New Year's Eve, but she's out of the country for the holidays.
Asking out, first time? Watch
- Thread Starter
- 29-12-2010 00:57
- 29-12-2010 01:24
Don't do it in front of her friends, it's uncomfortable for her regardless of whether she's saying yes or no. From my experience, it's best to be interested in her but more importantly, chilled out about it. She's not your only option. You want it to seem natural, and not like you've been thinking about it all day long (even if you have!). Go ahead and have a good conversation first, make her laugh, and when it's clear she's comfortable and in a good mood, just go "What are you doing on Friday? Fancy going out for a [insert what you want to do here] or something?"
- Thread Starter
- 29-12-2010 23:54
I've known her long enough to conclude that she isn't too judgemental as an individual (I can't remember ever seeing her angry or frustrated, for example) - in the event that she has no interest in a relationship, I suspect that she could simply laugh off the idea. She's a generous person all round (one of the reasons why I like her a lot) and seems to value honesty. In response to ShnnyShiz, this would be a conversation between just the two of us, and certainly I can make her laugh. I'm thinking of using the walk to this class to drop some hints and ensure that the general mood is good, then use the walk back to be a bit more direct.