Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free

Chasing a girl with a secret boyfriend... Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So, I'll try and keep this short.

    Me and a girl have been getting along just fine, and we're serious about having a relationship (basically just waiting till I move closer next month).

    Now, I just found out that she is currently in a relationship. Which she didn't tell me about. And I am very confused.

    I mean, she hasn't actually done anything wrong, there has been nothing sexual uttered, nothing sexual done, indeed just an agreement that we want to get together. But I just feel betrayed.

    I found out because I happened to stumble upon a blog of hers, mentioning me, and her boyfriend in the same post...

    How do I proceed? I mean, I like her alot, and if she leaves him and is serious about me, then all is good...
    But i'm confused.

    Please help
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    Lure her in with custard creams, sorry m8 I'm not very good with relationships hehe.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Did you stalk her digital footprint? Tsk tsk.

    What exactly did she say about him in her blog anyway? If she went on about how lush he is then you should start looking elsewhere, mate.
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    Let her make up her own decision, give her a bit of time.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by uninspirational)
    Did you stalk her digital footprint? Tsk tsk.

    What exactly did she say about him in her blog anyway? If she went on about how lush he is then you should start looking elsewhere, mate.
    It wasn't exactly stalking, I was bored so googled her name.... we've all done that...right?

    And no, the post suggested they were going to 'talk' about things, though i'm not sure what these things were, yet this was a few weeks back, and I am not sure whether these talks have gone ahead, or anything really, i'm pretty much blind on this one.

    And they have a long distance relationship, and i'm sure many people know how they can make a person feel.
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It wasn't exactly stalking, I was bored so googled her name.... we've all done that...right?

    And no, the post suggested they were going to 'talk' about things, though i'm not sure what these things were, yet this was a few weeks back, and I am not sure whether these talks have gone ahead, or anything really, i'm pretty much blind on this one.

    And they have a long distance relationship, and i'm sure many people know how they can make a person feel.
    Haha, true, guilty as charged.

    Tbf, my current relationship was LDR for 2 years and I have no clue 'how they can make a person feel'. I know plenty of people who were in LDR's and cheated but expected pity because they were 'lonely' or 'had needs'. It's like an excuse to have someone for emotional stimulation, and somebody else for the more physical side. And if she didn't break it off with him, and she's waiting until you guys are geographically closer, guess which one that makes you.

    Imo you won't know what's going on until you ask her... but It'd be hard to explain why you searched her online, haha .
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    If she didn't tell you then what makes you think she won't leave you for someone else? She's already lied to you. Not a great start to a relationship :/
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by hg345)
    If she didn't tell you then what makes you think she won't leave you for someone else? She's already lied to you. Not a great start to a relationship :/
    Now I agree with your analysis of the situation, but in my foolish assumption, I just assumed she didn't have a boyfriend. At no point has she 'lied' to me. Sure one could argue that what she has done is not in good taste, but if you were in a serious relationship, which is LDR, you cannot just break it off just like that.

    I am somewhat trying to plays devils advocate, since Hopefully it will stimulate people, in actuallity, I don't have a clu what i'm saying or doing right not
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Why did you have to go on her blog to find this out anyway? Some trust issues here.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    Well obviously she couldn't tell him about her boyfriend, he'd have run for the hills, and life's really too short to chase dragons like relationship integrity.

    I'd have done the same thing as her if I was insecure out of relationships and thinking of ending it with my boyfriend.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    How can this boyfriend be 'secret', if you know he exists?
    :facepalm2:
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Roo Bix)
    Why did you have to go on her blog to find this out anyway? Some trust issues here.
    It's not like I read her emails or anything... she put it on the internet for all to see... and it wasn't like I was looking for information, I just thought it'd be interesting.
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    It's not like I read her emails or anything... she put it on the internet for all to see... and it wasn't like I was looking for information, I just thought it'd be interesting.
    No, this isn't to make you feel like you're some stalker. It's to make you think about how you had to find this out through her blog, and not out of her own mouth.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Roo Bix)
    No, this isn't to make you feel like you're some stalker. It's to make you think about how you had to find this out through her blog, and not out of her own mouth.
    Ahh I see, that makes more sense Though I just asked her "how long was it since your last boyfriend" and she admited to was still in a relationship, but she is ending it. So thats good enough for me!
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ahh I see, that makes more sense Though I just asked her "how long was it since your last boyfriend" and she admited to was still in a relationship, but she is ending it. So thats good enough for me!
    Well that's a little more positive, could be just that she was planning to break up with him for you. But still keep your wits about, that still doesn't explain why she didn't mention it before.
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    Not much you can do if she has a boyfriend.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: December 29, 2010
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Did TEF Bronze Award affect your UCAS choices?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.