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what do you do when you feel used/lied to/led on (long post) watch

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    #1

    Hi,

    I've known this girl for years and years, but there was a long period when I never really spoke to her as she started uni in a different town.

    However in the summer we started talking again, I started to get pretty deep feelings for her pretty quickly and she knew, I saw her about once every three days and things were going really well.

    I thought that she felt the same, as she was always asking me to do things, and was always being flirty, we even slept together.

    Then at the start of september work/uni started so we only really saw each other about once every three weeks. So from towards the end of september I didnt really speak to her again till mid october, I felt quite annoyed that she hadnt asked to see me more, she did text me quite frequently but when ever I asked her do anything she kind of just ignored it.

    We went out with a few friends in october things were going ok, then she just walks off with this random guy , was confusing, didnt know if she was looking for a b/f a new guy to see or just socialising, but I was pretty annoyed so I walked home after a while and didnt speak to her for a week.

    After I calmed down I appoligised and we met up again a few weeks later in november, this was for a friends birthday so we went out for a meal just a few of us, I held back a bit, I wasnt being flirty, I didnt pay for her meals like I would have done previously, just treated her as a normal friend. Then we were leaving and she told me to text her so I did, saying thanks for coming and asked her if she wanted to do something, she said she did but would be busy so we agreed to wait till i come back from holiday which would have been end of november/start of december.

    Again she never wanted to meet up when I asked her, she was always like im busy, but never arranged another time, so I thought Im not going to text her anymore, im not gonna try, so after she said she was busy at the end of november I left it, didnt text her, nothing. then about 2-3 weeks later, she texts me saying lets do something on christmas eve.

    To me christmas eve is like one of the most important nights of the year, its the night when you go out with your really close friends or family or what ever. So when she said she wanted to be with me on christmas eve I thought it was because she liked me, so I changed my plans so she could come out with my friends. But again i kept back abit, treated it as if she was just a friend, wasnt paying for her drinks all night, wasnt sitting there playing with her hair or holding her hands or anything like i previously would have and seemed to go ok. As we got drunker she seemed to get a bit more flirty, putting her hand on my leg when she was talking to me, sitting really close to me so my arm was like behind her back, and the bottom of her leg was over mine etc.

    Then when I was walking back to the table she was sat at she stood up and walked towards me saying her lifts here now then hugged me, I said ill walk her to her car, she smiled and walked out and then said shed text me. She text me a few hours later saying thanks for taking her out and she had a really good night.

    On boxing day, I text her saying she can come out with me whenever she wants, and asked her how she was/what shes doing etc. She answed the questions really brefly and shorlty. I was thinking dont you care about me, arent you going to ask how I am or what im doing or anything.

    I really wanted to know what was happening between us, she hardly ever wants to see me or makes an effort to see me, but when ever I tell her I want to see her shes like OK! soon because im busy, and makes out she really wants to, then texts me after saying she has a good time being with me etc.

    So I text her, saying you dont feel that way bout me do you, she just replied with sorry. I wanted more than just sorry, so said is that all you have to say, expecting her to say what she felt, or why she didnt want a relationship with me, she just said I enjoy being with you and like seeing you, i dont know what else to say.

    I was thinking that still didnt answer the question so text her asking why wouldnt you want a relationship with me, but she never responded.

    And now here I am. The thing is, im not annoyed that she doesnt want to be in a relationship with me, its the fact that she lead me on for months and months, she knew how I felt from the start, and I just feel like every little thing she tried to use me to get something out of, like she only came out with me when she had nobody else, or she wanted me to buy something. I wouldnt usually just meet a random girl and pay for them to go out somewhere, but I had previously known this girl for years so thought I could trust her.

    And now even when Im asking her how she feels about me, she just cant be honest and say I dont like you that way, and tell me whats wrong with me. Shes tries to lead me on even more by saying she likes being with me, and avoiding telling me she doesnt like me the way I like her, and she wont tell me why she doesnt want a relationship with me.

    Im just really annoyed and feel really angry that I wasted so much time on somebody that was supposed to be my friend, and she just doesnt seem to care how it makes me feel.

    Now all I can think about is how I wish she could be in my position, and she can see how it feels.


    Sorry about the long post, . Thanks for any help.
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    Let go and move on. The best revenge is having a life of your own and finding happiness again without her.
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    TL DR.

    Move on.
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    I realise how the anger I feel is the result of non self acceptance when it comes to making a mistake, the wrong decision or being manipulated or cheated. That I am always worthy of love by both myself and others.

    Nah that doesnt really happen, I just like to sound smart, I normally get angry and resentful and bitter and thats normal then I start to think about depending on myself a bit more for the love I need.
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    There are lots of people in this world that use other people for self validation/gratification/pleasure/ getting themselves further in life. You need to be able to identify these people and not let them push you under the water in order for them to reach the top. I was in the same position as you, I had a friend (this is going to sound ridiculous) who used to facebook wall me all the time as she knew I would write back on her wall, so she would look more popular. She would want to arrange things and go out just so she could change her fb status to ''oh went to ____ last night got soooooo drunk'' .She then got a job and now dropped me and hangs around with all the girls from her work. Block, delete, move on . And its what you have to do in real life too.
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    (Original post by Yawn11)
    TL DR.

    Move on.
    TL DR? :confused:
 
 
 
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