Excitement v. stability

My friend and I just sucessfully matchmade one of our best friends with another of our friends from my college who she's liked for ages. Its really exciting and I'm really happy for them.

But I'm finding myself slightly jealous of the initial excitement you get at the beginning of a new relationship. I'm in a loving, stable relationship and we're really happy. But I kinda miss the buzz you get at the beginning.

Just reread that. Sorry, its a real non-problem! Just I can't be the only one. I'm sure other people have felt this way. Which do you prefer, the beginning, or the feelings of stability and comitment you get a year or so on? i know there are good bits to both.

Reply 1

SunburnedCactus

Bit of swinging injects zest into any relationship! :smile:

Reply 2

Talya

I dunno. I more feel sorry for the people who pretend they are eternally in that initial stage, but are really very unhappy and know their partner doesn't really want to commit.

Yup. That is sad.

(Not me though :eek:

)

I don't miss it. I love my boyfriend and hope I am with him for the rest of my life. I still feel elated when I see him and hug him and other things :biggrin:

Why are you all puking?! :mad:

Reply 3

randdom

Hmmm that is a difficult one. I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 and a half years now and the intia excitement has worn off. For me though while the intialy excitement is good the love and comitment I have with him now is so much better. Just because you aren't in that initial phase doesn't mean you have to miss out on the excitement. Me and my boyfriend still have fun and I really don't feel that i am missing out.

Reply 4

saz_1989

Go out on dates and do the type of things you do at the start. Me and my boyfriend have been the same since the start so I guess we just won't lose the buzz :smile:

Reply 5

ciara

Well, I admit I really love that bit at the start, nothing beats it. Like, before you're even going out. Looking back it seems so obvious you liked each other but at the time it was all nervy and exciting. However, I think if I kept dumping long term boyfriends just to get to experience the excitement of starting new relationships then the new relationships would kind of..lose their excitement. Because I'd know if it did work out I'd always get bored eventually and dump them to get a new relationship etc..you know?

Having said that, now my boyfriend and I are hours apart it is more exciting in a way. We know we're going to see each other in a month or whatever, and it's all exciting and weird when you do see each other again! Although obviously I'm not suggesting you move to be miles away from your boyfriend (maybe you are already, I don't know).

Cxx

Reply 6

The Albatross

oh yeah, lol there's no problems with me and my bf. Its wonderful being with him, and I still look at him and think wow, how lucky i am. Its not that we've lost the buzz, just that the buzz is of a different variety. I am only saying all this becuse I enjoyed the initial buzz - i mean doesn't everyone!? But the feelings you get at this stage are richer I think - less surface excitement, and more of a deep down knowledge that you understand and love each other so much.

Thanks for some interesting points of view.

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