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Is my boyfriend in the wrong (cheating?) Watch

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    A few days ago my boyfriend went on a night out with his friends and basically got too close for (my) comfort with another girl.

    I had to find out through my friends who saw him, I didn't find out from him. They told me they saw him outside the club with a girl locked in his arms for a good 20 minutes, so close in fact that she was inside his jacket and he had zipped it up (the zip being all the way round her back, so it was like the two were literally squeezed together).

    I confronted him and he said it did happen but his explanation was:
    It was a really freezing night and they were waiting for a taxi, she was wearing a short sleeveless dress and was really cold so he offered his jacket. She saw that he only had a t-shirt on underneath so she told him to keep it on and instead suggested the way I've described above.

    I'm really upset by this, the thought of another girl that close to him for so long and him letting her do it is just making me sick to the gut. He said he was just wanting to do the right thing and not let her freeze, and that he couldn't say no to her suggestion he'd have felt really rude.

    The thing is, my friends say they were doing it in an intimate way, getting really cosy and cuddling like a couple. This just breaks my heart, but he's not even acknowledging this as an issue as he feels he didn't do anything wrong.

    Am I being unreasonable here?? I mean how would you feel if your partner did the same? It's really upsetting me and his response to this makes me feel like I'M the crazy one to be making this an issue
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    Ask him how he would feel if you did that with another bloke
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    Id feel bad because its an emotional issue, but at the same time i would forgive them because logically they did the right thing. But it all depends on the context, couldnt she have waited inside, lent her the jacket, etc etc if there were other options he should have used them.
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    I don't think you're being unreasonable, that's the sort of thing a couple do. In the same way as holding hands isn't sexual, or snuggling up on a sofa, it's still behaviour which is associated with love, trust, security, etc.

    In my opinion, any guy doing what you described would be fully aware that he wasn't just doing a favour.
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    (Original post by Silver fern)
    Ask him how he would feel if you did that with another bloke
    This. I'm pretty certain I'd find that upsetting too. When it comes to relationships, I always think 'if I wouldn't want him to be doing it, I shouldn't do it myself' and I doubt he'd want you snuggling up to another guy.
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    Honestly, Id be a bit upset about this too =/ maybe explain to him how it makes you feel and hopefully he'll understand, its not worth ending the relationship for, but it is an issue if you feel that it is
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    It's not cheating just weird
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    Nothing wrong with it if it was freezing tbh, but if they were cuddling and stuff, well thats weird.
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    How godamn selfish of you!! Imagine if your boyfriend hadn't offered to let the girl inside his jacket and she ended up getting hypothermia? How would you feel then...oh I know, you'd probably end up crying on here instead saying that your boyfriend is a cold and heartless person and ask for our advice on whether you should dump him or not.
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    (Original post by Silver fern)
    Ask him how he would feel if you did that with another bloke
    Nah, this will just lead to him saying "it's fine because I trust you', which will probably cause more problems. There's clearly a lack of trust there as it is.

    (Original post by rhinger)
    You're not being unreasonable, your boyfriend is just a bit of a coward to not tell you what really happened. I wouldn't entrust him to keep you safe at night.

    A bit is perhaps an understatement...
    Why would you be a coward for not telling your girlfriend!? He didn't really do anything wrong. I can understand a girlfriend being a little worried by it, but I'd be annoyed that my girlfriend was getting VERY jealous and upset. He doesn't feel like he did anything wrong because he thinks you should trust him more. To be fair, it is SO cold outside. Let him off, and try to trust him a bit more.
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    it depends how close they were (friendship wise, not literally)
    if i were him i'd do that for my friends probably
    if anything it sounds more like she likes him than he likes her, but if they're friends probably not this either
    if i was him i wouldn't feel i had done anything wrong, but if i was you i would feel that he had
    not really helpful
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    (Original post by logical ad)
    I don't think you're being unreasonable, that's the sort of thing a couple do. In the same way as holding hands isn't sexual, or snuggling up on a sofa, it's still behaviour which is associated with love, trust, security, etc.

    In my opinion, any guy doing what you described would be fully aware that he wasn't just doing a favour.
    This is good advice. But on the other hand I do that with my male friends all the time and I don't fancy them one bit and it's really because I'm cold and I don't want them to get cold either.
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    (Original post by rhinger)
    So if your girlfriend starts cuddling a guy she's just met at the club for 20 minutes, citing the reason that she was feeling cold, you will not suspect her at all?

    I'm not a fan of relationships, but you're a bit farfetched.
    That's not the situation, because it wasn't the partner who was cold. It was just a guy doing the honourable thing and rather than freezing himself by giving her the jacket, made sure both people were warm.

    I'd almost expect my girlfriend to want me to be a gentleman, rather than just stand there. It is a little odd, but it's hardly the end of the world. I wouldn't date a girl I couldn't trust completely, so it's not really an issue for me.
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    Tell him to bend over then,...KICK HIM IN THE BALLS AS HARD AS YOUR SOUL AND STRENGTH CAN POSSIBLY LET YOU!
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    (Original post by rhinger)
    So if your girlfriend starts cuddling a guy she's just met at the club for 20 minutes, citing the reason that she was feeling cold, you will not suspect her at all?

    I'm not a fan of relationships, but you're a bit farfetched.
    Where does it say he had just met the girl?
    For all we know, the girl could have been a really good friend.
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    It's a bit of a grey area this one, maybe he was just cuddling her to keep her warm, I guess I would be a bit miffed though all the same.
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    I wouldn't be very happy about it but it's not the end of the world, certainly not that big an issue.
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    I would feel uncomfortable about that but I guess he's just wanting to do the right thing, especially if the girl is a friend of his.
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    (Original post by sabinex)
    A few days ago my boyfriend went on a night out with his friends and basically got too close for (my) comfort with another girl.
    I'm more relaxed than most when it comes to this kind of thing and I'm more than reasonable, so I can tell you that you're definitely not being unreasonable. It's happened to me, and when she told me to keep it, I insisted she have it. I don't see why he couldn't have done that.. but I don't really have enough information to judge. Maybe he made a bad call, he was drunk, or whatever, but what it comes down to is that he kind of wanted it to happen. Would he have done it if he thought the girl was ugly? No.
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    he might be saying the truth,
    but if I faced a similar situation when attached to someone I would give her the the jacket and be cold myself,.. I wouldn't agree to sharing the jacket...
 
 
 
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