Boyfriend doesn't seem to think my orgasm is important...

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He's sounds like a boring **** in bed who doesn't give a crap about you.

Next time you guys have sex, stop about 3-4 minutes, before he's come. If he complains you can tell him that's how you always feel. Then tell him to **** off.

Original post by Anonymous

Start very obviously faking early, about 2 minutes in. When you're done, tell him to get out, your done, and give him a hug.

Guys learn quickest this way.

These two are also very good.

Reply 21

Tom360

Talk to him about it and get him to google ways to last longer.

Also, foreplay.

Reply 22

Anonymous #4

Hello again everyone!
I'm seeing my boyfriend tomorrow, but I'm not sure if we will get any alone time!
I hope we do..and I hope things go well (if you know what I mean...)

Anyone have any advice on how I can talk to him about spending more time on foreplay?

Reply 23

Tom360

Ask for more? It's not that difficult.

Reply 24

Anonymous #4

I will try to talk to him about it...but I know that he won't be happy! (Which could cause the opposite effect of what I want!)

Reply 25

Clumsy_Chemist

Original post by Anonymous

I will try to talk to him about it...but I know that he won't be happy! (Which could cause the opposite effect of what I want!)

Well at the moment you aren't happy, he has to listen to you or he's too selfish to be worth bothering with?

Reply 26

Tom360

I can't think of any guy who wouldn't make some serious changes if his girlfriend told him she wasn't enjoying sex.

Reply 27

Anonymous #4

Original post by Clumsy_Chemist

Well at the moment you aren't happy, he has to listen to you or he's too selfish to be worth bothering with?

I know, I know...But he really isn't selfish in other aspects of our relationship! I will definitely talk to him tomorrow, if we get alone time!
I'm sure I'll end up being horny at some point tomorrow so I'll see if I get the opportunity to bring up the conversation!

Change boyfriends

You need to ditch him. Get a guy who is bothered if you enjoy sex or not.

Reply 30

Sky_Dream

Stop before he's about to cum, and say 'sex is more about the journey than the destination.'

Reply 31

Anonymous #4

Hi again,
I didn't get to talk to my bf about my problem the other day :frown:

He came over yesterday afternoon and then slept over at my house last night...but still no orgasms for me :frown:

Instead of coming onto him like I usually do, I decided to play it cool by just being friendly and kind. I hoped that he would eventually get horny and start coming onto me, but he didn't. We didn't have sex or even kiss a lot, which has made me feel rubbish and unattractive!

So we have now gone from having unsatisfying sex (for me!)...to no sex at all.

I think he tried to make a funny dig at me this morning. We were talking about drinking hot tea...and he said that I don't swallow and raised his eyebrows. So I gave him a little hint by replying 'well you never let me get close enough to you for that.'

Now I don't know if I'm just over-reacting because my pill is making me hormonal!

I'm going out with him and a few mates tonights for some drinks. Shall I try to tackle the conversation tonight (after a few drinks) or do I just grin and bare it?!

Reply 32

KJ_the_crazy_chick

Original post by Anonymous

Hi again,
I didn't get to talk to my bf about my problem the other day :frown:

He came over yesterday afternoon and then slept over at my house last night...but still no orgasms for me :frown:

Next time you want him to come on to you act more flirty and be more direct with your intentions.

Talk to him about after a few drinks in private. You should not put up with it at all. Sex is about giving not just taking. He should be concerned that you don't orgasm.

Good luck x :smile:

Reply 33

Anonymous #4

Original post by KJ_the_crazy_chick

Thanks a lot for the advice! x

Reply 34

KJ_the_crazy_chick

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks a lot for the advice! x

It is okay. I hope it works out for you and he realises how selfish he is being. x

Reply 35

Silver fern

Look, when you have sex with someone, whether it's a one night stand or a long-term relationship, you need to take the other person's wellbeing into consideration - hell, that's what makes sex so nice, it's two (or more) people having a good time together - otherwise you're just using their body, and it's not on, you may as well use your hand if the only person's orgasm you care about is your own. I've had one boyfriend who didn't give a toss about my needs during sex - he didn't stay a boyfriend for long.

Reply 36

Darkages

hi,

try positions where he is standing...that usually helps..

or ask him to tell you when he is about to come..then stop..take a breather..

or shag once..get it out of your system..wait a few hours and do it again..an average young man should be able to 'recharge' within 2 to 3 hours..

tell him in no uncertain terms your sexual fulfillment is impt too..

but if he if good to you in many other was..sexual happiness is achievable..just be open with him..but not patronising, spiteful or mean...

men are usually always conscious of their performance in bed and it will hit him hard and consequently worsen your sex life..all the best!!

Reply 37

Jimmy McNulty

I think from a practical perspective you need to help him learn to last longer, 6 minutes or whatever is frankly pathetic and any guy can do a lot better than that. I'm sure you know the tips and techniques a guy can use to delay orgasm (it's not that difficult with practice) so maybe go through these with him in a positive way.

If he really won't fulfill you even after you explain things to him carefully, and it just isn't important to him, you'll have to weigh up whether the rest of the relationship makes it worth staying with him, and if not, move on!

By not talking to him about it that's kind of unfair - he should have the chance to know clearly how you feel, what he can do about it and have the chance to change.

Reply 38

Anonymous #1

Original post by Jimmy McNulty

I did explain how I felt though.

I told him it was important to me to have an orgasm, and he said perhaps he needed to try to last longer. I told him I'd like to experiment with other positions, but that in these it might take me a lot longer to orgasm, and that it was very important to me that I DID orgasm. I also said that I understood sometimes that he didn't 'help me out' afterwards if I hadn't cum, because he was in a hurry to get to work, and I didn't ALWAYS mind if I didn't get an orgasm, but many other times it left me frustrated and that I'd like it if he at least asked me if there was anything he could do for me.

The only net result of that conversation was that I didn't orgasm 3 out of the next 4 times we had sex, and he didn't acknowledge that fact or offer to do anything else for me sexually any of those times. And each of those times I didn't orgasm because he insisted on having sex in other positions or starting off with foreplay on him and not me (despite me having pointed out that he couldn't last long enough for me to orgasm in these positions, AND him knowing that I couldn't ever orgasm in at least one of them).

So I felt like he ignored the rest of the conversation, and only listened to the "it would be nice to be able to do different positions" bit, tuning the rest out. I felt really resentful. One of the times I didn't orgasm I told him straight away that I had been within seconds, but he never offered to help me out.

We've only had sex once since then, and I did orgasm. He lasted for longer than usual, because he was obviously TRYING to (he never does this usually) - he was stopping when he was on the edge etc. He seemed determined to make me cum, even though I'd told him that I was very tired (early hours of the morning) and this time I wasn't bothered about having one.

I feel like this was his way of "making up" to me... I've noticed before that if I haven't had an orgasm three or four times in a row, he tries to "make up" for it by giving me unasked for oral sex, without getting anything back himself, a couple of days later. Unfortunately, I'm not keen on oral, which he knows, so can't understand why he does this. It DOESN'T make up for it, because what I want is to orgasm at the time.

Beginning to wonder if he has some thing against touching me once he's had his fun. My ex always used to do stuff for me afterwards but this guy won't, and I refuse to have it before because it makes intercourse uncomfortable and unpleasant for me.

Reply 39

Freud

Put up a sign above the bed with both your names on it and tally underneath the names when either of you orgasm. Maybe he'll be shamed into taking some action