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Too shy and no confidence when it comes to girls... Watch

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    #1

    Hey people,

    I have a serious problem when it comes to girls. I see girls when im just out casually shopping or whatever, at the pub, clubbing etc. I feel so worried to the pit of my stomach when a mate goes ''chat to her'' because i have no idea what to do or say or anything!

    I also seem to have high standards as in I will only find a girl attractive if shes extremely pretty, but with that in mind its pointless to say as i wouldnt have the courage to talk to them anyway.

    I'm 21 soon and im still a virgin and ive been told im a good looking guy, i just think its my major lack of confidence...

    Just wish I could feel more confident for a change or know what it feels like to try and chat up girls as i just dont hav eit in me to do this...
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    Saying hi and a wink will do.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey people,

    I have a serious problem when it comes to girls. I see girls when im just out casually shopping or whatever, at the pub, clubbing etc. I feel so worried to the pit of my stomach when a mate goes ''chat to her'' because i have no idea what to do or say or anything!

    I also seem to have high standards as in I will only find a girl attractive if shes extremely pretty, but with that in mind its pointless to say as i wouldnt have the courage to talk to them anyway.

    I'm 21 soon and im still a virgin and ive been told im a good looking guy, i just think its my major lack of confidence...

    Just wish I could feel more confident for a change or know what it feels like to try and chat up girls as i just dont hav eit in me to do this...
    the bold bit is the reason why you're suffering.
    I'm not saying go and find a female version of Shrek and go out with her..
    but drop the standards a bit.
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    (Original post by HotIce)
    Saying hi and a wink will do.
    If only it was that easy lol
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    If only it was that easy lol
    It is you have nothing to lose
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    Dr Addzter's prescription:

    http://www.charlottemagazine.com/Blo...-Beer/beer.jpg
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    (Original post by HotIce)
    Saying hi and a wink will do.
    this.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ive been told im a good looking guy.
    I hate to be the one to tell you, but you're probably not as attractive as you think.
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    (Original post by Menakshelatte)
    a female version of Shrek
    Fiona?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey people,

    I have a serious problem when it comes to girls. I see girls when im just out casually shopping or whatever, at the pub, clubbing etc. I feel so worried to the pit of my stomach when a mate goes ''chat to her'' because i have no idea what to do or say or anything!

    I also seem to have high standards as in I will only find a girl attractive if shes extremely pretty, but with that in mind its pointless to say as i wouldnt have the courage to talk to them anyway.

    I'm 21 soon and im still a virgin and ive been told im a good looking guy, i just think its my major lack of confidence...

    Just wish I could feel more confident for a change or know what it feels like to try and chat up girls as i just dont hav eit in me to do this...
    well it depends whether you want a relationship with a girl or you just want to have sex with her.
    if you want to have sex, act confident and forward, wink, whatever you like.
    if you want a relationship then act like you're friends. just start chatting about things that interest you. if they don't interest her, chances are she's not the one for you anyway.

    i know loads of guys like you. think about it - the worst that can happen is they say no!
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by lovely_me)
    I hate to be the one to tell you, but you're probably not as attractive as you think.
    I've been told this, I don't think this... I meant im not an uggo like David Gest or something
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Just wish I could feel more confident for a change or know what it feels like to try and chat up girls as i just dont hav eit in me to do this...
    Good way to boost your confidence is be sure with yourself that you look good, like get a nice haircut or some new clothes that you feel comfortable and happy in.

    When you've done this you should be more confident with yourself so you can focus more on talking to the girl than thinking to yourself if you look bad or not.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey people,

    I have a serious problem when it comes to girls. I see girls when im just out casually shopping or whatever, at the pub, clubbing etc. I feel so worried to the pit of my stomach when a mate goes ''chat to her'' because i have no idea what to do or say or anything!

    I also seem to have high standards as in I will only find a girl attractive if shes extremely pretty, but with that in mind its pointless to say as i wouldnt have the courage to talk to them anyway.

    I'm 21 soon and im still a virgin and ive been told im a good looking guy, i just think its my major lack of confidence...

    Just wish I could feel more confident for a change or know what it feels like to try and chat up girls as i just dont hav eit in me to do this...
    I have the same problem...

    I guess you just have to do it...
    After the first experience it will become easier...

    Have the same problem...

    I guess you just have to do it... After the first
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    (Original post by lovely_me)
    Fiona?
    lol yep
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    [QUOTE=ollie82;29096065]well it depends whether you want a relationship with a girl or you just want to have sex with her.if you want to have sex, act confident and forward, wink, whatever you like.
    if you want a relationship then act like you're friends. just start chatting about things that interest you. if they don't interest her, chances are she's not the one for you anyway.

    Yeah I get what you mean... I just see my mates and it seems so easy for them ... but when you see people in couples it does feel so depressing sometimes lol. Basically I just wanna feel like a regular guy, whatever that means lol
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    Winking? Really? Always seemed a bit pervy to me, what are girls' views?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey people,

    I have a serious problem when it comes to girls. I see girls when im just out casually shopping or whatever, at the pub, clubbing etc. I feel so worried to the pit of my stomach when a mate goes ''chat to her'' because i have no idea what to do or say or anything!

    I also seem to have high standards as in I will only find a girl attractive if shes extremely pretty, but with that in mind its pointless to say as i wouldnt have the courage to talk to them anyway.

    I'm 21 soon and im still a virgin and ive been told im a good looking guy, i just think its my major lack of confidence...

    Just wish I could feel more confident for a change or know what it feels like to try and chat up girls as i just dont hav eit in me to do this...
    Hmm, I can sympathise! I also find it incredibly hard to actually just go up to girls and talk to them, the only time I'll do so is when I'm really drunk and that's hardly attractive. I just seem to have a mental block about it, even if I want to, I just...can't and even then, I don't know what to say. Talk about the weather? Booooring.
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    Well, I dont know but when a guy comes up to me and tells me he wants my number i find it really annoying
    So dont just go up to a girl and ask for her number, I think most girls find that arrogant

    Maybe just ask her something like last week I was in Waterstones and I picked up this book and the guy next to me had the same one and so we sort of started chatting and it sort of lead on from there
    So maybe find something mutual which admittedly is a bit difficult
    Also its much easier when you are in a club as some girls are obviously waiting to be chatted up or a bar is a better place its less loud and more for socialising

    Anyways good luck
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by lovely_me)
    I hate to be the one to tell you, but you're probably not as attractive as you think.
    Stupid response...

    OP I'm 18 and the same as you. Often left kicking myself cos I was too shy to start a conversation or something.
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    [QUOTE=Anonymous;29096405]
    (Original post by ollie82)
    well it depends whether you want a relationship with a girl or you just want to have sex with her.if you want to have sex, act confident and forward, wink, whatever you like.
    if you want a relationship then act like you're friends. just start chatting about things that interest you. if they don't interest her, chances are she's not the one for you anyway.

    Yeah I get what you mean... I just see my mates and it seems so easy for them ... but when you see people in couples it does feel so depressing sometimes lol. Basically I just wanna feel like a regular guy, whatever that means lol
    well, what's a regular guy?! my boyfriend is 21 and it took a lot out of him just to ask me out! i've been out with 'regular guys' but i wasn't interested. i like it that my bf's a bit different.

    what do you want? getting with girls for the sake of it isn't all its cracked up to be. and if you're shy it'll probably make you feel rubbish if you just go for a quickie. you seem like a nice enough guy, so don't make yourself look like an idiot!

    have you got any friends who are girls? if you just spend time hanging out with them as friends, then at least you'll get used to talking to girls and how you should/shouldn't act. ask a girl you like if she'd like to meet up sometime. don't do something boring where you won't be able to do anything. cinema is always an awful first date, cause you can't get to know each other. parks are always great cause there's plenty to look at when things are awkward and there's always a cafe when you get hungry.

    i can't speak for all girls but i like it when a guy acts like he trusts me and wants to get to know me. and the best thing a guy can do is be a good cook. learn to cook a good meal and you're more than likely in! altho check if she's veggie first!

    how old are you?
 
 
 
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