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Getting depressed about the future

I already feel like a loser for writing about this on an internet forum...

I'm a 20 year old guy. I've got no brothers or sisters, and I'm not close to anyone in my generation of our family. If the generations above me all died off tomorrow then I would have no family.

I've also never had a girlfriend. I've not really come close if I'm honest. Sure, I've fancied people but it's never working out, almost always because the person's not at all interested.

To get some impression of what people think of me, I remember when I was about 14, the film "The 40 Year Old Virgin" came out. The running joke in one of my "friendship" groups was that that would be me one day. I don't think much has changed. I'm still that skinny fugly geek who's the butt of people's jokes.

I'm not too bothered about not having had a girlfriend by itself, what scares me so much more is the (highly likely) possibility of never finding anyone, and therefore being completely alone in the future if I live long enough. I won't have anyone to come home to, I won't even have extended family to share Christmas with. What kind of life is that?

It's upset me so much that I can't even function properly these days. I don't know what to do. :frown: Help?

I've tried speaking to friends about this but it's just made me even more upset.
Come over to Ahmayreeca !
You'll hit it off cause of your accent !
seriouslyyy
Surely all of this is motivation to prove people, and most importantly, yourself wrong? Talk to a trusting friend. Better out than in and all that. You can change yourself into a better person. We all feel like you currently do at some point in our lives. I promise you, you CAN prove yourself wrong. Go out there and make yourself into the person you want to be.
I've been in a very similar position to you. In many ways, especially mentality-wise, I'm still there. But you have to try and concentrate on what is important to you. Do you have a hobby that you enjoy? Perhaps you could try councelling.
As for your having never had a girlfriend, I know I'm probably just an anonymous blogger right now, but my advise is don't you worry and don't you hurry. Relationships that are genuinely meaningful don't just HAPPEN in a flash of lightning. I should imagine you are quite sexually and emotionally frustrated. Try not to be. It will happen for you in time. Just be patient. The world is a big place and life is long. Just try to relax and centre yourself.
Original post by nintendolad
Surely all of this is motivation to prove people, and most importantly, yourself wrong? Talk to a trusting friend. Better out than in and all that. You can change yourself into a better person. We all feel like you currently do at some point in our lives. I promise you, you CAN prove yourself wrong. Go out there and make yourself into the person you want to be.


This. This, this, this, this. Why the hell are you letting yourself go down so easily? I'll give you a prime example - me.

Over these holidays I wanted to really revise all my 4 modules this term. As it turns out, I've only done one (albeit, very well) and I'm just going to do a second one and start on the other two next term. Life didn't turn out how I planned it to, but I'm readjusting and making sure that I still reach my end goal.

Prove them wrong. Everyone. My GCSE Maths teacher told both my parents and myself that A-Level Mathematics or Physics would be out of my reach, yet here I am doing a Maths degree in my second year. Did that come out of self pity and worrying about the future? **** no, it came from working a little, enjoying what I do and enjoying where I'm headed.

I may not know where I'm headed, and you don't either, but hell, you can have fun getting there, can't you?

I have no brothers or sisters either. I don't get on with most of my siblings in my generation because they're either not old enough yet, or I don't have enough of them. Does that get me down? Erm, no. Future's going to be fun, mate. You've got no clue what's going to happen, and expecting something to happen is like pretending something happened in the past. You just can't do it.
(edited 13 years ago)
I'm also 20 and have been single for 4 years. I absolutely hate it.

If I'm being honest, I'd rather be in your position. When you know exactly what you're missing, it makes years of being single soo much worse... seriously, you've got no idea just how desperate I am for a blow job.
Original post by Peachykeen09
Come over to Ahmayreeca !
You'll hit it off cause of your accent !
seriouslyyy


really???

are british accents really that "desired" in the US?
Reply 7
Avatar for lesbionic
lesbionic
Original post by Peachykeen09
Come over to Ahmayreeca !
You'll hit it off cause of your accent !
seriouslyyy


It's funny the same things doesn't happen when Americans come to UK...It's actually quite a turn off for a lot of people... strange!
Reply 8
Avatar for nai_
nai_
Seriously, you might think you won't ever find a girlfriend but I promise you that you will find someone. Geeks make the BEST boyfriends, and skinny geeks are all the rage :smile: If you're a nice person then nothing is stopping you, even if you look like Quasimodo (which Im sure you don't), even the very ugliest people manage to find someone to love them!

I also think you are looking way way too far into the future! I'm guilty myself of over-thinking things and trying to meticulously plan my life but this is really not the way to go. Don't worry about what happens when all your family die!! Just focus on making the best out of life now, make good friends (maybe not one's that take the piss out of you?) and meet new people.

I'm sure you're a lovely guy so maybe make a new years resolution to be more confident and see your good bits?

I hope this helps you even just a weeny bit
Original post by infernalcradle
really???

are british accents really that "desired" in the US?


Yes, it's pretty hysterical how crazy they get. :rolleyes:
We had a british actor come to our school but he was speaking with an american accent and no one gave a damn. after the play he talked with his regular british accent, ohh boyyy. :laugh:
Original post by lesbionic
It's funny the same things doesn't happen when Americans come to UK...It's actually quite a turn off for a lot of people... strange!


cause we sound stoopid :ahee:
Reply 11
Avatar for arabie
arabie
10
Original post by lesbionic
It's funny the same things doesn't happen when Americans come to UK...It's actually quite a turn off for a lot of people... strange!


hell no. i love american accents.

op - if you've already lived out this future of yours in your mind so many times, you're just living towards that future tbh. live TODAY.
Original post by lesbionic
It's funny the same things doesn't happen when Americans come to UK...It's actually quite a turn off for a lot of people... strange!

I seriously disagree, American accents are immense.
Reply 13
Avatar for lesbionic
lesbionic
Original post by Mister Bean
I seriously disagree, American accents are immense.


Well I ''seriously'' think you're entitled to your immense opinions, doood.
Original post by lesbionic
Well I ''seriously'' think you're entitled to your immense opinions, doood.
Immense point, dood.
Original post by Peachykeen09
Yes, it's pretty hysterical how crazy they get. :rolleyes:
We had a british actor come to our school but he was speaking with an american accent and no one gave a damn. after the play he talked with his regular british accent, ohh boyyy. :laugh:


in that case....methinks I need to emigrate to h-america

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