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Sex Drive Ruining R-Ship Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    My sex drive has always been insanely high. It's caused problems in past relationships, but I never really cared much because I didn't care about the person I was with. Now I DO care. My desire for sex is much higher than my partner's (especially due to a lot of stress my partner is going through). It has caused us to argue and it makes my partner feel inadequate and makes me feel unwanted. My partner feels offended when I masturbate as well. Sex is important to me, but not more important to me than my partner is, but I can't change how much I desire it!

    What can I do? I strongly feel there is something wrong with me because of my extremely high desire for sex and because of the way I feel when I don't get off. I get really frustrated, aggravated, and moody. It feels like withdrawal symptoms.

    Note: Gender was intentionally left out. Please do not ask me whether I am a male or female. I do not think it matters.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    when I don't get off
    Ur male.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    bump, any suggestions about what I could/should do?

    @anttooking, I bet you think you're so smart. But you're not. Sometimes girls get off. I realize you may not know this because it's never happened in your sexual history, but it can happen.
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    It was very funny actually, A girl would never say 'Get off' so it just made me laugh. I am sorry for the offense
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My sex drive has always been insanely high. It's caused problems in past relationships, but I never really cared much because I didn't care about the person I was with. Now I DO care. My desire for sex is much higher than my partner's (especially due to a lot of stress my partner is going through). It has caused us to argue and it makes my partner feel inadequate and makes me feel unwanted. My partner feels offended when I masturbate as well. Sex is important to me, but not more important to me than my partner is, but I can't change how much I desire it!

    What can I do? I strongly feel there is something wrong with me because of my extremely high desire for sex and because of the way I feel when I don't get off. I get really frustrated, aggravated, and moody. It feels like withdrawal symptoms.

    Note: Gender was intentionally left out. Please do not ask me whether I am a male or female. I do not think it matters.
    It may be that you are just sexually incompatible in terms of sex drive with your partner.

    I'm a girl, my ex was ALWAYS up for sex, he wanted it several times a day. If I gave him a quick kiss or hug, he got an erection. If I bent over to pick something up, he got an erection. Fortunately, I wasn't offended, I actually found it flattering, and my sex drive is very high so we were well matched. Even if I wasn't in the mood, he'd always at least get oral sex. I know his high sex drive had caused problems in his previous relationship, though, because he felt hurt and rejected when she didn't respond to him.

    Now I find it very difficult with my current boyfriend. He says he is as interested in sex as the next man, but truth is he doesn't see sex as a priority. He thinks it is ok to limit it to a quickie last thing at night or first thing in the morning a couple of times a week, and he never initiates or acknowledges me as a sexual being at other times - all I get is affection. I feel hurt and rejected, and like he isn't interested in satisfying my needs. I've talked to him about it, but it falls on deaf ears. Yes, my relationship with him is more important than just the sex, but I feel angry and resentful and to be honest masturbation just doesn't cut it.

    I don't really know what to suggest, one of you has to compromise and at the moment it sounds like it is you. I certainly feel it is me that compromises in my relationship - I think it is normally the person with the higher sex drive that is forced to compromise, because somehow it is seen as ok to ask someone who wants sex to go without it but not ok to expect someone not that up for it to do it for their partner.

    It may be that ultimately your higher need for sex will have a negative impact on the relationship. I am not sure I could cope with the lack of sex/lack of effort he puts into sex for the rest of my life...



    Why does saying "get off" suggest a guy? I'm a girl and I certainly get off and I wouldn't see that a a term only for guys.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    But is there something wrong with me? I really, really feel there is... It doesn't even have to be anything sexual. He just walks up the stairs and I'm instantly ready to ravage him. If he touches my hand the right way, I'm soaking through my panties. We AREN'T a new relationship, so I don't understand why this is happening. I expected it to go away eventually once I got over the "new love" feelings. My sexual relationships with other men never lasted long enough for me to see if the intense sexual desires would fade with time.

    (Btw, I am a girl.. Got too complicated trying to be genderless.)

    It's not only that I want sex much more often than anyone I have EVER met, but that the desire for it is so intense. If you're a smoker and you've ever gone a significant amount of time without nicotine, it's a lot like that. I can't be satisfied either. Last night we had great sex and we did it until I pretty much passed out from exhaustion. But as soon as I woke up in the middle of the night to use the toilet, and I came back to bed and saw him laying there all cute and sexy-like, it hit me again. I don't know what to do.. I want the feelings to stop because it hurts him that he can't give me sex as much as I appear to need it. And it frustrates me and leaves me feeling like I'm unwanted and unsatisfied when I don't get enough sex.

    I really don't think it's him. He gives me sex plenty and it's good sex. I have no complaints about the quality or his performance. I just want a way to decrease my drive for sex or better coping mechanisms to deal with the intense desires.
    • #2
    #2

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But is there something wrong with me? I really, really feel there is... It doesn't even have to be anything sexual. He just walks up the stairs and I'm instantly ready to ravage him. If he touches my hand the right way, I'm soaking through my panties. We AREN'T a new relationship, so I don't understand why this is happening. I expected it to go away eventually once I got over the "new love" feelings. My sexual relationships with other men never lasted long enough for me to see if the intense sexual desires would fade with time.

    (Btw, I am a girl.. Got too complicated trying to be genderless.)

    It's not only that I want sex much more often than anyone I have EVER met, but that the desire for it is so intense. If you're a smoker and you've ever gone a significant amount of time without nicotine, it's a lot like that. I can't be satisfied either. Last night we had great sex and we did it until I pretty much passed out from exhaustion. But as soon as I woke up in the middle of the night to use the toilet, and I came back to bed and saw him laying there all cute and sexy-like, it hit me again. I don't know what to do.. I want the feelings to stop because it hurts him that he can't give me sex as much as I appear to need it. And it frustrates me and leaves me feeling like I'm unwanted and unsatisfied when I don't get enough sex.

    I really don't think it's him. He gives me sex plenty and it's good sex. I have no complaints about the quality or his performance. I just want a way to decrease my drive for sex or better coping mechanisms to deal with the intense desires.
    I know what you mean. I am sexually aware of my boyfriend at all times - when he is cooking, when we are out shopping, just all the time. I am physically obsessed with him, I want him all the time, and we've been together a year. He actually laughs at me which for some reason I find a bit hurtful

    Don't really know what to suggest...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I know what you mean. I am sexually aware of my boyfriend at all times - when he is cooking, when we are out shopping, just all the time. I am physically obsessed with him, I want him all the time, and we've been together a year. He actually laughs at me which for some reason I find a bit hurtful

    Don't really know what to suggest...
    Do you find it hard to be faithful at all? I thought maybe I just had what they call "sex addiction" but all the people who relate to that seem to be characterised by a lack of ability to be with one person or enjoy frequent anonymous sex.

    Would you mind talking to me in PMs about this or something sometime?
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    he doesn't see sex as a priority. He thinks it is ok to limit it to a quickie last thing at night or first thing in the morning a couple of times a week, and he never initiates or acknowledges me as a sexual being at other times - all I get is affection. I feel hurt and rejected, and like he isn't interested in satisfying my needs. I've talked to him about it, but it falls on deaf ears. Yes, my relationship with him is more important than just the sex, but I feel angry and resentful and to be honest masturbation just doesn't cut it.
    I feel like I am in the same situation as you!!
    I'm in a new relationship with a guy who has liked me for 2 years.

    At first he seemed to have a high sex drive, like me. But now that we have spent more time together over the Christmas holidays, he has become less sexual.
    I try to wear sexy underwear and surprise him sometimes in the hope that he will get really turned on and have to 'have me there and then', but sometimes he just gives me a quick kiss or says he's tired or makes a comment about my high sex drive. This makes me feel angry at myself as well as him..because I feel like we should know each other well enough by now to understand each other's needs.

    Because he liked me for so long, I'm worried that I'm not living up to his expectations.
    I try to be cute and sweet, but my high sex drive is a big part of who I am, and it makes me worried that I'm not good enough for him.

    We do have sex a few times a week, but this situation has made me so paranoid that I become nervous during sex..which makes it a lot less enjoyable because I can't 'let go'.

    I love him very much, and I see this relationship and a long-term thing...but I don't want to constantly be worrying that I'm not what he wants.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I try to be cute and sweet, but my high sex drive is a big part of who I am, and it makes me worried that he's not good enough for me.
    FYP
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by trooper6)
    FYP
    But he IS good enough for me! He buys me nice things and takes me out for meals..and I really love him.
    But my high sex drive obviously scares him, because it's even getting to the point where he knows I'm horny, but won't touch me or have sex with me.
    He is very affectionate. He cuddles me, kisses me and tells me how much he loves me. But i get so sexually frustrated that I end up being moody and quiet with him.
    What can I do to make myself less sexual and happier with the situation?
    Please help.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But is there something wrong with me? I really, really feel there is... It doesn't even have to be anything sexual. He just walks up the stairs and I'm instantly ready to ravage him. If he touches my hand the right way, I'm soaking through my panties. We AREN'T a new relationship, so I don't understand why this is happening. I expected it to go away eventually once I got over the "new love" feelings. My sexual relationships with other men never lasted long enough for me to see if the intense sexual desires would fade with time.

    (Btw, I am a girl.. Got too complicated trying to be genderless.)

    It's not only that I want sex much more often than anyone I have EVER met, but that the desire for it is so intense. If you're a smoker and you've ever gone a significant amount of time without nicotine, it's a lot like that. I can't be satisfied either. Last night we had great sex and we did it until I pretty much passed out from exhaustion. But as soon as I woke up in the middle of the night to use the toilet, and I came back to bed and saw him laying there all cute and sexy-like, it hit me again. I don't know what to do.. I want the feelings to stop because it hurts him that he can't give me sex as much as I appear to need it. And it frustrates me and leaves me feeling like I'm unwanted and unsatisfied when I don't get enough sex.

    I really don't think it's him. He gives me sex plenty and it's good sex. I have no complaints about the quality or his performance. I just want a way to decrease my drive for sex or better coping mechanisms to deal with the intense desires.
    I don't think there's anything wrong with you... I perhaps am not quite as horny as you, but I'm certainly very sexually aware of my boyfriend... we'll have fantastic sex and then (like you said) I'll see him or kiss him and then I'll really want him. I'm not sure what to suggest, because the way I deal with it is just accepting that I can't physically expect him to constantly be able to have sex, and that I wouldn't be able to physically cope with loads and loads and loads of sex (however much I like the idea ). However, I don't get moody, nor do I usually see it as a rejection... I don't think it's necessarily being so turned on around him that's your problem, I think the problem is more your reaction and feelings upon being aroused and your boyfriend not being ... if that make sense? Unfortunately I can't offer any advice, but it's not completely abnormal for you to be so turned on at all
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    Nymphomaniac?

    Put Bromide in your tea, perhaps. :awesome:
    • #4
    #4

    I have the same problem, but didn't realise girls get it too! Incompatible sex drives suck, hopefully accepting rejection comes with practice
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I have the same problem, but didn't realise girls get it too! Incompatible sex drives suck, hopefully accepting rejection comes with practice
    Maybe it shouldn't be about accepting rejection...it should be about both partners learning to compromise.
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Maybe it shouldn't be about accepting rejection...it should be about both partners learning to compromise.
    That's an interesting idea - us "eager beavers" (as my girlfriend calls me) can compromise by accepting less sex than we'd like, but is it ok to get someone who isn't really in the mood to raise their sex drive in return?
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    That's an interesting idea - us "eager beavers" (as my girlfriend calls me) can compromise by accepting less sex than we'd like, but is it ok to get someone who isn't really in the mood to raise their sex drive in return?
    I understand what you mean. I suppose I hadn't thought of it like that.
    But then it isn't much of a compromise, is it?
    My sex drive is a big part of who I am, and at the moment I am trying to compromise...but now it seems like me and my boyfriend are having no sex at all!
    I do love him, and besides the issue of sex, our relationship seems great.
    I just don’t know how long I can keep up the facade of enjoying the (non)sexual aspect of our relationship.
    • #4
    #4

    Aren't you being a bit harsh saying you don't enjoy the non-sexual at all? I know what you mean, I'd say my relationship is otherwise awesome and this problem is annoying. How would you approach getting a real compromise?
    • #3
    #3

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Aren't you being a bit harsh saying you don't enjoy the non-sexual at all? I know what you mean, I'd say my relationship is otherwise awesome and this problem is annoying. How would you approach getting a real compromise?
    Ok, I do enjoy some parts of the sexual side, and I definitely enjoy the other parts of our relationship, but I can feel myself getting increasingly frustrated with the situation and taking it out on my boyfriend by being quiet and moody.
    I'm not sure a real compromise can really work
    • #4
    #4

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Ok, I do enjoy some parts of the sexual side, and I definitely enjoy the other parts of our relationship, but I can feel myself getting increasingly frustrated with the situation and taking it out on my boyfriend by being quiet and moody.
    I'm not sure a real compromise can really work
    I've got to say, you have to make the effort to not do the quiet and moody thing, it'll make your boyfriend feel **** (Y) I did it on a few occasions without realising and just got moaned at
 
 
 
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