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take a chance or play safe?!

Reply 20

pggirl

Tell her!! You got nothing to lose and something to gain!! If she says no, life still goes on!!!

Reply 21

goonerjack

Well I was in this situation about this time last year, in the end i just told her, and it pretty much put the friendship to an end, was just way too awkward... but about a year on things started to get better and at the moment we get on just like we did before

so i reckon you definitely have to say something - better to regret something you said than regret not saying it!

Reply 22

jovialtom

OP

2

ok, just to make things a bit more complicated....

say that i technically have a gf at the moment, but she lives in Malaysia and i am not likely to see her again... (i studied over there for a year). I know i should end things between us because theres no point in us going out any more. But i can't face doing it at the moment because i know she will take it really badly and i'm worried about what she might do... My 'friend' knows about all of this...

Argh soooo complicated! is honesty really the best policy?
Tom

Reply 23

iceman_jondoe

18

jovialtom

...imagine you really liked one of your best mates, i mean 'really' liked them, but your afraid that if you tell them how you feel you could ruin everything that you have together.... either by them saying that they dont feel the same way, or if you started going out and things don't work out...

would you take the chance and tell them how you felt or just keep quiet and hope the feelings go away....

:frown:

YEah tell them nothing wrong i that

Reply 24

MNBStyle

9

emilymckay90

Well personally I've had a mate who I didn't fancy ask me out and asked a mate out who didn't fancy me. I'm best friends with both of them now. And I also asked out a mate who fancies me and... it's all good!
I think you should tell her.

And thats coming from a school girl, so your odds are good mate.
Its all down to how mature the other person is thoe

Reply 25

MNBStyle

9

emilymckay90

Even better because when I got asked out and didn't fancy the person and when I asked out the person who didn't fancy me I was only 12 years old. Actually, looking back on it, it's surprising how mature everyone was about it...

Thank you for that lovely story :p:

Still thats kids for ya

Reply 26

MNBStyle

9

emilymckay90

Haha (damn, I can't think of a good comeback!)

Thats because i always win arguments haha :p:

Reply 27

MNBStyle

9

emilymckay90

hmm... that's what I used to think.

Well done! :congrats:

Cheers

and thank you 4 being such a good sport :p:

Reply 28

Hashshashin

13

A (male) friend of mine did this with a (female) friend of mine, they were both friends but one day out of the blue he asked her out. She proceeded to ignore him for at least 3 months, and even now at least six months on they just aren't the same - she's always bitching about him and he gets really depressed around her.

However, I'm inclined to believe this was just the particular girls immature attitude, I say go for it if you think your friendship is strong enough to take it (and if it isn't, why on earth were you friends in the first place?)

Reply 29

The Mudman

10

jovialtom

ok, just to make things a bit more complicated....

say that i technically have a gf at the moment, but she lives in Malaysia and i am not likely to see her again... (i studied over there for a year). I know i should end things between us because theres no point in us going out any more. But i can't face doing it at the moment because i know she will take it really badly and i'm worried about what she might do... My 'friend' knows about all of this...

Argh soooo complicated! is honesty really the best policy?
Tom

Ooooh, now that makes things a bit different... Havent come across this situation myself, but Id say try not to make it look like youre using your friend as a back-up plan. I know youre not, but it could appear that way. End things with the girl in Malaysia. It will be tough, no doubt, but ultimately (not wanting to sound harsh) its holding you both back, and its not fair on either of you. You say youre worried about what she might do, is that as in hurting herself? At least end things with the Malaysian girl before you tell your friend your feelings, but still let her know. Id want to try and get a womans perspective on what her reaction would be. If she feels the same as you, theres probably going to be no problem. If she doesnt, you were going to end it with the other girl anyway, so its not like youve done it just for her...

Reply 30

miss_buttercup

tell them! i fancied the pants of my best mate and it turned out he fancied me too. we've now been together for 2 and half years and i love him to pieces!xx

Reply 31

robc2

13

Take the chance! You may well find that they feel the same

take a chance or play safe?!

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