The Student Room Group
Reply 1
yeh but he's your boyfriend. Not hers. if anything he'll probably get sick of seeing her all the time, and would make him miss you more. And probably by spending time with her he'll realise he has somethign better and special elsewhere.
Reply 2
dont feel jealous, he's yours :biggrin:
Reply 3
See I know I'm being stupid because she's got a boyfriend and he spends his spare time with me but my mind won't stop 'playing tricks'.
I understand these things are tough. I'd feel odd about it too, but I bet he loves you lots,
Reply 5
clairey87
See I know I'm being stupid because she's got a boyfriend and he spends his spare time with me but my mind won't stop 'playing tricks'.


see you have to think to yourself if you don't stop thinking liek that it might cause a split between you and your bf, and thats the last thing you want. Just keep yourself occupied. and when u spend time with him im sure it makes u feel very happy, and vice versa. Just remember that wehn he's with you he's also very happy.
you have to have faith.
Reply 6
Lol we're at the same university and I know it's only until we get our own place together. I just keep telling myself that I'm being silly. Will it get easier with time?
Reply 7
clairey87
Lol we're at the same university and I know it's only until we get our own place together. I just keep telling myself that I'm being silly. Will it get easier with time?

OMG!
ur at the same uni? what u got to worry about! silly! just relax. and smile :-)
why dont u call him im sure it will make u feel better.
Reply 8
Why are you at the same uni and not living together?

Me and my boyfriend can't... But we practically do anyway.
Reply 9
I sometimes felt the same (and very rarely feel twinges of jealousy), but if you carry on like it you will ruin your relationship. Just understand that it's only work. Yeah, it's a bit :frown: when someone else is spending more time with your bf than you (and those little niggly doubts can't help but creep in every now and then) but you have to understand that he would appreciate a single hour with you FAR more than 100 with anyone else. Is this a lack of self esteem perhaps? Are you secure in the fact you deserve and love each other and aren't looking for anyone else outside your relationship? Has the relationship been going on for very long (because I think you get more comfy in your status as 'meant to be' as time goes on). Does he make enough efforts to show you he remembers you?

Jealousy does stem from the fear that your man is going to be taken away or your relationship is threatened by someone else. If this isn't a reality then it's irrational and destructive. It's hard when there's a whole part of his life you're not involved in (and, in my case, don't understand in the slightest :redface: ) but that's what makes a relationship interesting.

When you fee jealous make a conscious effort to think of those things he does for you, all the time he's spent with you, how much he shows you he loves you. You really have to work at eradicating jealousy, but once you've been doing it for a while it becomes second nature and you start to worry less about any "threats" you've fabricated.

edit: also do more extra-curriculars so you have things to talk about too and so you don't feel like it's him always with the interesting and jealous-making experiences
Reply 10
We're in halls...different ones but we're moving in together for next year
Has anything ever happened between them? Is there some history you've posted on here before that I haven't heard about?

I just don't get why it's a problem.
Reply 12
No I'm just a very insecure person having been cheated on by the majority of my exes. I don't know if it's got anything to do with my depo-prova....I've had every other side-effect under the sun!
--------------
Oh well I guess I'll just hope that it will pass with time
Reply 13
clairey87

Oh well I guess I'll just hope that it will pass with time

Like I said just above, it doesn't work like that. You have to make a proper effort to change the way you're thinking otherwise you will carry on with this irrational and destructive way of thinking! You need to rationalise yourself by blocking out the nonsense and concentrating on the facts - that he loves you!
Hmm...

Ok, I'm going to state the obvious here. Please don't feel patronised, because that's not what I'm trying to do. There are billions of people in the world, and about 50% of them are female. Wherever your boyfriend goes in life, he will come into contact with other women. Many of them will be in his age range, and many of them will be attractive. You are never going to be the only girl in his life.

However, you are his girlfriend. He wouldn't be with you if he didn't want you. Trust me, if a guy decides he doesn't want to be in a relationship any more, he generally doesn't waste any time getting out of it. Yes, some guys cheat, and if you've had personal experience of this then it's hardly surprising that you're insecure. But there are also many guys who don't cheat, and by the law of averages, not every man you have a relationship with will cheat on you. So just trust your boyfriend. If you ever feel jealous of another girl who is in his life, like his flatmate, try making friends with her. If you become friends with her, the chances are she would feel too guilty for doing anything with your boyfriend.

My male flatmate is very fit, but he has a girlfriend of four years. Before she came to visit, I was pretty jealous, and thinking, "Oh, he's just started uni. They're bound to split up soon!"

Now I've met her, because she stayed with us last weekend, and even if he was prepared to cheat on her, it wouldn't be with me, because it would be cheating on someone I met and liked a lot, and my conscience wouldn't allow it.