The Student Room Group

Girlfriend Problems

Hi everyone, this is my first post on here. Its a very long story so im gonna try and keep it short. Bsaically I ve been seein this girl since the beginning of spetember, were both 2nd year students and are at the same uni. We ve known each otha since the begining of january now. This makes it quite complicated cos when we first met we were kinda seein each otha, but called it off after a few weeks (around end of feb) because she didnt want a relationship. After easter we met up n spent the night 2getha, but still decided 2 be friends after. Between this time and mid july we stayed friends n met up every now and again. We both met up in summer in manchester (where were at uni) n she made a move, we spent the 2getha again. gradually things got more serious as we met up a couple more times over summer... I hope ur all keeping up wiv me lol.

Anyway we properly started seein each other when we both started our second year and been 2getha for 2months now. But there are a few problems. I like her a lot and shes obviously reaveled this about me, but we barely see each other. She lives a 10minute walk away and we only see each other a few times a week at most. We ve spent the night togehter 6 times i think aswell in the 2months. I ve said a few times that its frustrating me a bit but she has a go at me and tells me to stop arguing wiv her, altho im not. She is busy at uni and works hard, so i do understand y we cant see each other at times, but for example, we ll go a couple of days without seein each other and on a night when im free i ll txt her to see if shes busy. She ll reply saying that she jus wants a quite night in with no company becuase shes tired, which annoys me. They'll be other times where we havnt spent the night 2getha for several days and when were both free she ll say that she just wants an early night. Whenever i question her she has a go asking why i dont believe her. I was thinking that it ll get better and we ll start seeing more of each other, but last week we almost split with her saying that shes never gonna have more time for me etc. Things are ok now and cos i really like her im gonna try and accept the fact that we cant see each other as much as i wud like. Advice from my mates is that i shud end it cos she shud want to see me and make time for me, which at times she obviously doesn't, but at times i think that it might just be me making to much of a fuss.... Wot do u guys think to this? Is it jus me or is it a bit out of order? Sorry bout the long thread!
Reply 1
for what its worth, i don't think she's really looking for a relationship, they sound like excuses to me.
Perhaps you should break it up and move on, unless she really is the love of your life, in which case keep trying, but it sounds like she isn't.
Hmmm, its a difficult one....
Well, I can only say that while your girlfriend is perfectly entitled to want some time alone (I have said this to my boyfriend when I genuinely just want some time out, its not that I don't want to see him but I just want some me time, and he does take it personally, so you're not alone!) However, you are also fine to want to see more of your girlfriend if you want to - bearing in mind your workload/time with mates and other things, and I can understand why you feel frustrated, particularly if you only live 10minutes away from each other. Maybe gently raise the issue with her - no accusations i.e why don't you want to see me etc, that will make the situation worse, and stay calm, she may just open up to you. If you dont get a satisfactory result, maybe then discuss where your relatiosnship is going i.e is it going to continue/more contact/same situation. If you then dont arrive at a satisfactory conclusion, then maybe consider ending it, after all, you're at uni and life is too short.
Up to you, no doubt you will get conflicting advice on here, but go with what feels right to you. Do you like this girl enough to make the effort at resolving things?
Good luck with it :smile:
Reply 3
cajacko2
Hi everyone, this is my first post on here. Its a very long story so im gonna try and keep it short. Bsaically I ve been seein this girl since the beginning of spetember, were both 2nd year students and are at the same uni. We ve known each otha since the begining of january now. This makes it quite complicated cos when we first met we were kinda seein each otha, but called it off after a few weeks (around end of feb) because she didnt want a relationship. After easter we met up n spent the night 2getha, but still decided 2 be friends after. Between this time and mid july we stayed friends n met up every now and again. We both met up in summer in manchester (where were at uni) n she made a move, we spent the 2getha again. gradually things got more serious as we met up a couple more times over summer... I hope ur all keeping up wiv me lol.

Anyway we properly started seein each other when we both started our second year and been 2getha for 2months now. But there are a few problems. I like her a lot and shes obviously reaveled this about me, but we barely see each other. She lives a 10minute walk away and we only see each other a few times a week at most. We ve spent the night togehter 6 times i think aswell in the 2months. I ve said a few times that its frustrating me a bit but she has a go at me and tells me to stop arguing wiv her, altho im not. She is busy at uni and works hard, so i do understand y we cant see each other at times, but for example, we ll go a couple of days without seein each other and on a night when im free i ll txt her to see if shes busy. She ll reply saying that she jus wants a quite night in with no company becuase shes tired, which annoys me. They'll be other times where we havnt spent the night 2getha for several days and when were both free she ll say that she just wants an early night. Whenever i question her she has a go asking why i dont believe her. I was thinking that it ll get better and we ll start seeing more of each other, but last week we almost split with her saying that shes never gonna have more time for me etc. Things are ok now and cos i really like her im gonna try and accept the fact that we cant see each other as much as i wud like. Advice from my mates is that i shud end it cos she shud want to see me and make time for me, which at times she obviously doesn't, but at times i think that it might just be me making to much of a fuss.... Wot do u guys think to this? Is it jus me or is it a bit out of order? Sorry bout the long thread!


i think you need to seriously consider how much she means to you. it sounds to me like she is stringing you along a bit, maybe she has lost interest or isnt as committed as you to this relationship? she might well be telling the truth, and needs time to herself, which is something that isnt likely to change any time soon!! if you are getting upset about this (as it would appear you are, seeking help and all) then it might be time to consider ending it. then again you could try and talk about it with her, but she could definitly take it the wrong way.

either way good luck :rolleyes:
Reply 4
cheers guys for your advice. anyway it hasnt gone well at all as i ended it today. i obviously feel gutted and well down that it hasnt worked. Basically wot happened was what follows.... i was accepting the fact that i wouldnt be able to see her as much as wanted n i saw her last nite. we was out having a drink with her brother n when he left she went to the toilet. she took her time cos she was quite drunk lol! Anyway i sneeked a look at her mobile, which i feel bad about, but what i saw wasnt good. This guy had been texting her. A few txts worried me.. saying "i miss snuggles and kisses," "I ll need to spend all day in bed with u to recover" and "of course i ll come back to see you." Also from one txt it showed that they met up on tues, a day when she said she was busy so she couldnt do anything with me. I obviously confronted her, but she was more annoyed wiv the fact that i looked at her phone and that i didnt trust her, which is understandable, but how can i after reading messages like that? Anyway she said that this guy, who is mates with two of her housemates and apparantly her mate from wot she says, is jus like tht and tht she was jokin with him about stuff and thats why he said those things. It made it crap cos it was her birthday and it completely ruined my time wiv her and it nade ne feel so bad. Anyway... it was also revealed tht on the tues he went round hers. She said nothing happened, but its annoyin tht she said couldnt do anything with me cos she had plans, which were cancelled in the end, but instead of doing something wiv me she asked this guy to come around.

All of this added on top of the stuff mentioned in my first post meant that i had to end it as i couldnt take it. She thinks shes right and that she has made an effort over the past two months and that we saw each other another enough and that i was stressing her out a lot. I thnk i was a bit harsh, maybe, but im not sure? Also im starting to regret it a bit n thnk tht i was maybe a bit wrong.
Reply 5
Was the relationship in its current form making you happy? Seems not.

Are you therefore better off without her? Seems so.
Reply 6
maybe she is just worried that if you spend to much time together then she will start backing off,

but then again it sounds lik maybe she has a proeblem with cominment you need to sit down and talk about it properly and make her see you aren;t having a go at her you obviously care about her alot maybe she has trust issues or some kind of problem getting to close to people (lot of people do)
Reply 7
ZigZag
Was the relationship in its current form making you happy? Seems not.

Are you therefore better off without her? Seems so.


Hmm, I agree here, you'll be better off now without her, though i'm sorry you had to find out about her other guy the way you did... :frown: