Moving on

I don't want to go into too much detail here, but I could do with some advice. I split up with my boyfriend a month ago, to go to uni. I have spent most of the time since then wishing we were still together, and at first it looked like it was going to be possible that something might happen, but I've come to the decision that enough is enough: I'm not going to get back together with him, so I should stop thinking about it.

Does anyone have any advice as to how I might start to move on? Plenty of people have told me that I've got to start beating myself up about it, and they're right, I know. The break-up wasn't my fault, and there's nothing I can do about it. I understand and accept this, but still I think about us and wonder if there's any chance. How might I be able to get over him?

Reply 1

Fruit-cake

9

you havent actually mentioned here exactly why you broke up...have you spoken to him about getting back together? who ended it? maybe he would like to get back together aswell.

if you want to move on, i know it sounds cliched but it will take time. just make a conscious effort not to think about it and keep yourself busy.

Reply 2

Apricot Fairy

16

Where is he at uni? What was the breakup like?

Reply 3

Feefifofum

OP

16

mini_munchkin

you havent actually mentioned here exactly why you broke up...have you spoken to him about getting back together? who ended it? maybe he would like to get back together aswell.

if you want to move on, i know it sounds cliched but it will take time. just make a conscious effort not to think about it and keep yourself busy.

We broke up beacuse we were going to different unis, and have no time to travel to see each other. Then in the holidays too I'm going to have to work, so there really is not time. I haven't spoken to him about getting back together, apart from one drunken text message that I apologised for the next day. It wasn't even specifically saying that we should get back together either, just a general rant at him, for something I really don't want to get into, and is irrelevant to this. I don't know if he wants to get together or not, but in a way I'd rather not ask, it would bring up a whole load of issues.

I know time is a greath healer, but I've been having a REALLY rough time recently, and it's been getting me down. And I've already been making a conscious effort, but everything seems to remind me of him.
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susiemakemeblue

Where is he at uni? What was the breakup like?

He's at Cambridge. The break up was all v amicable, and at the time I felt OK with it, it's just since I've been thinking about it and regret it.

Reply 4

Sarzy

Feefifofum

We broke up beacuse we were going to different unis, and have no time to travel to see each other. Then in the holidays too I'm going to have to work, so there really is not time. I haven't spoken to him about getting back together, apart from one drunken text message that I apologised for the next day. It wasn't even specifically saying that we should get back together either, just a general rant at him, for something I really don't want to get into, and is irrelevant to this. I don't know if he wants to get together or not, but in a way I'd rather not ask, it would bring up a whole load of issues.

I know time is a greath healer, but I've been having a REALLY rough time recently, and it's been getting me down. And I've already been making a conscious effort, but everything seems to remind me of him.
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He's at Cambridge. The break up was all v amicable, and at the time I felt OK with it, it's just since I've been thinking about it and regret it.

I'm kind of going through something similar, only we split up because of the state of the relationship not because of being apart etc. He also has a new girlfriend which so basically there's really hardly any chance of us getting back together. The problem is that at the time it feels like the right thing, but after a while you can only think of the good things that you miss. As much as I've told myself that me and my ex could be an exception, going back to someone you've split with really is a bad idea. If you haven't split because you are driving each other mad, then it is probably harder to get over them. Basically you just have to carry on with life,...try and go on some dates etc. Rebounds are never good but if you start dating a guy you like, and feelings develop then that generally erases the longing to be back with your ex. I've been on a date and am liking a few guys,...it is certainly helping.

Moving on

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