The Student Room Group

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Reply 1
yes.
this is my opinion do not slate me for it,BUT

if you know you're going to be together forever, what's the rush?
a lot changes you know...you'll change, he'll change and if you're lucky you'll stay together, but more often than not, the changes take you in different directions.
Personally, I think that 16/17 is old enougth, but that requires parental consent. This is just my opinion.
Reply 3
how on earth can you say you want to be with someone forever when you're 16?! At that age you change your mind so rapidly about everything and you have a LOT of growing up to do.
Fleece
how on earth can you say you want to be with someone forever when you're 16?! At that age you change your mind so rapidly about everything and you have a LOT of growing up to do.

It depends on the couple. Not everyone changes their mind.
Reply 5
If you really love each other then wait.

I know how you feel, I'm getting married next year.

But wait. You do a surprising amount of growing up between 18 and 20 so why not wait until you are 20/21?

If you're going to spend the rest of your life with this person then just get used to being comfortable with them. Theres no rush, you have the rest of your lives together. Just take it slow and start saving up for the wedding of your dreams in a few years.
Reply 6
No thats true AndrewsJoseph but once you get to at least 20 you'll understand just how big a difference 3 years makes and how much growing up you did. that's not meant to be patronising in any way, but it's just the truth.
Well in response to the comment "what's the rush" (which by the way is fair enough), I guess I should point out here that we're both strong christians and don't believe in sex before marriage. I will just make the point VERY strongly that we would not in any way be getting married for sex, however our moral/biblical views and things mean that we see living together etc without being married morally wrong according to the bible (I'm not trying to preach at you here, just explain myself a bit better, I'm not condemning anybody don't worry).
Reply 8
so what is better in the eyes of christianity? Getting married young so you're not being morally wrong...or getting divorced at 30?
I'd suggest waiting a bit. You're going to have to live with your wedding photos for the rest of your life, and you'll get a bit more adult-looking in just the space from 18 to 21 or 22.
Fleece
No thats true AndrewsJoseph but once you get to at least 20 you'll understand just how big a difference 3 years makes and how much growing up you did. that's not meant to be patronising in any way, but it's just the truth.

I agree to some extent, and seeing as I'm only 17 myself you may be correct. mabye my views will change before I'm 20. But at the moment, I see nothing wrong with marrying young.
so what is better in the eyes of christianity? Getting married young so you're not being morally wrong...or getting divorced at 30?


no, neither... just getting married to the right person and staying married to them, working through problems and stuff.

i guess if i had to choose then the answer would be maybe getting married young, because in the bible it says that sexual immorality is sinning against your body and against God who made you in his image, however other types of sin means like sinning against other which you can make right both with other people and with god. however sinning against yourself is harder to make right (although god will of course forgive you if you repent). plus the bible says that there are reasons for certain types of divorce and stuff (for instance, abuse).
Have to agree with Fleece here, I did a lot of growing up after 17.
Reply 13
Fleece
yes.
this is my opinion do not slate me for it,BUT

if you know you're going to be together forever, what's the rush?
a lot changes you know...you'll change, he'll change and if you're lucky you'll stay together, but more often than not, the changes take you in different directions.


I agree :smile:

Personally I wouldn't get married right now, despite having been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years (he's 20 in January). We're both so young and have so much more to do before settling down! I've just started uni and he's a 2nd year, and although our unis are quite close together our lives are so different at the moment it just wouldn't be practical.

My parents' example doesn't exactly fill me with confidence about young marriages, either. They married when Mum was 18 and Dad was 19. They were divorced at 32 due to boredom! I'm not saying this will be the case with everyone, but if you've only been with that one person throughout your youth, its only natural to want to see what else is out there!
Reply 14
cant you be together and not have sex and not be married?! If you're that committed to your religion and each other?

Sometimes it's not possible to stay married to someone and work through problems.
Yeah, we are doing that but we just feel that we want to get married.
Reply 16
AndrewsJoseph
I agree to some extent, and seeing as I'm only 17 myself you may be correct. mabye my views will change before I'm 20. But at the moment, I see nothing wrong with marrying young.


I reckon you'll change a lot between 17 and 20. I'm sure everyone does. Just thinking about how much my boyfriend and I have changed since we first got together, its easy to see how different we are. For example, at 16 he said he didn't know if he'd ever want to marry, he didn't see the point as its just a piece of paper. Now, though, he'd love to one day!

People's opinions and values are changing all the time, and its an important thing to keep in mind when you're in a serious relationship at such a young age.
18 months is not a long time. Have you ever lived together? Unless you have personal beliefs that prevent you from doing such I would recommend this as a step to take before marriage.
the whole living together thing is a bit of a no-no. However we are currently in the same halls of residence which means that we are practically living together as it is, plus we have seen each other almost (literally) every single day for the last 2 years (at our worst and at our best). We have also been on extended camps and things together, away for holidays etc. We were best friends before we got together and whilst we have changed since that time, we have changed together without stopping loving each other.
Reply 19
but you will change even more undoubtedly...when i think how much i changed from 18 to 20 its unbelievable.
Im not saying it cant possibly work, but understand that things DO change.