The Student Room Group

14 yr old girl, 30yr old man

My cousin Sarah has just found out that her daughter Ang has slept with a 30year old man (Ang is 14). This man is really creeepy n a proper chav like man. So obviosuly sarah is both really upset and angry about the situation. Ang wont talk to her mum about it, so im gona try & talk to Ang instead.
How the hell do i go about it!, i dont wanna fall out with ang, i wanna be someone she can trust and help her, but how do i go about it!
Please anyone help me,pwease :frown: i hate seeing sarah like this, shes in a right old state

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Reply 1
the police will be interested, providing "ang" is actually telling the truth.
Reply 2
she wasnt telling anything, her mum read text messages off her phone, then confronted ang about it, she had to admit it because it wasnt worth lying about, im not really bothered with the police at this stage, i just want Ang sorted
Reply 3
It's freaky posting that here.
Perhaps ask why she did this? How did the man influence her?

I think she is in severe need of attention and love. Is her father in the picture? If so, I feel that he could have a very helpful impact. If he is not/is a jerk, that may be a root to the problem.
Reply 5
Well i was thinking of this, but theres nothing i can think of, she has a perfect family life, she adores both her parents, and they both adore her
Are you sure it is "perfect"? Sometimes the most destructive families have a perfect facade.

Or maybe not. Perhaps it was an act of rebellion.
Reply 7
Or maybe not. Perhaps it was an act of rebellion.

Now that could be a possibilty, im with them alot, and i hardly see them argue or sad or anything. Me and Sarah are like best mates and tell each other everything (hense why i know this) so if there were problems id most likly know about them. But what the hell has she got to rebel about????

Im gonna go to bed anyway, read up on the thread tomrow, thank you for all your help :biggrin::biggrin:
Reply 8
what the hell...alarm the police.....the 30yr old should be sent to jail for all i care....don't worry about hurting anyones feeling, just do the right thing....and well just have sit down with 'ang' and be there for her!
Reply 9
eurgh thats just wrong.
does you friend actually really like? cos maybe she could be doing it for attention. i dunno
Reply 10
Yes she was probably taken advantage of [I don't mean rape]. I think in legal terms if a man over 16 sleeps with someone under 14, even if there is consent to sex, it is classed as rape regardless.

But whatever, I agree that a 14 yr old girl/30 yr old man isn't the best of setups, in fact I'd say it's just plain wrong.
Perfectionism and precieved falsehood.

Rather common. Hey, the entire 60's was a rebellion of the "perfect" post-war era.

You are welcome BTW :smile:
Reply 12
technik
the police will be interested, providing "ang" is actually telling the truth.

I agree with technik, if this guy is as creepy as you make out then you should tell the police, if not for ang's sake then for the safety of other young vunerable girls.
As for talking to ang, just ask her why and how she ended up with this man in the first place, and explain to her the risks of things like this like say if she got pregnant etc and how that guy wouldnt of hung around if she did get pregnant.
And if she makes out your having ago just tell her its because you care and you are older so you know what men are like better than her.
Reply 13
I may have missed it, but is this girl on the pill? If not, hopefully the man is using a condom.

Tell her that this guy is only using her sex, he doesn't care if she gets pregnant, he has no respect for her. Tell her if she refuses sex with him twice, he'll dump her. Tell her that if he wears a condom, it may break, he may have HIV, and not to put his penis in her mouth. This whole thing is sickening
That really is disgusting.
Reply 15
I don't think it's right at all, but I don't think anyone should go to the police. Ang won't want to talk to anyone if you get the police involved. I think the first thing you should attempt to sort out is whether she's using protection. You shouldn't lie to her, but I also think that you should try to put aside the fact that the man is 30 years old. Simply give her advice about having sex as you would do if she was having sex with someone her own age. Obviously she will experience bad emotions, if not now, in the future, but bringing everything up with her right now will just push her away. I suggest you take it one thing at a time. Try not to judge her, she obviously has her reasons for what she did.
I hope that wasn't too confusing, and good luck!
Reply 16
Beekeeper
That really is disgusting.

agreed
over anything this should be a police matter - at 14 years of age it should always be considered as taken advantage, as sex at that age is a predatory act that the majority of people are simply not ready for emotionally.
Reply 17
red_roadkill
I think in legal terms if a man over 16 sleeps with someone under 14, even if there is consent to sex, it is classed as rape regardless.
'tis indeed. If a 16+ has sex with someone who is underage, it is treated as rape irrespective of whether the underage person consented to the sex.
I don't know nor care much about many legal things, but that is something that I do remember, for some odd reason...

Anyway, I'd do as MNBStyle says
Reply 18
Pedofil!! Call the POLICE!!!!
Reply 19
pggirl
Pedofil!! Call the POLICE!!!!
"Pedofil"? I think you mean "paedophile"...