Boy Trouble!

A boy I know, and quite like, and I don't know what to do about it.

My best friend got very drunk, decided it might be a good idea to tell him. He said he really liked me, but didn't want to ruin anything. Since, we've ended up on a few occasions rather cuddly and holding hands etc etc, however still not kissed. I'e asked him since, and he's told me he's unsure, that its "difficult" but said he did like me as more than a friend. More recently (a few days ago) when I asked him (by text) he said he was just seeing where things went, that he didn't really know how he felt.

I'm so shy around him, because I'm so unsure of him. I never know what he's thinking. We're really good friends though, I get on with him very well, and the time we spend together is so amazing, I don't want to ruin that by making a move unless I know he's interested. Similarly, I don't want to leave it too long because I'm scared it'll mean that any feelings he may have had, he "got bored" of, or just decided I didn't feel the same or something.

Any advice? What do I do? What would be the best/least awkward situation to get him in to make a move? My flatmate reckons get us both wasted and let nature take its course. I'm a little more reluctant with that method. But I am getting a bit impatient now!

(by the way, I realise how unrealistic anything I may post seems, but this isn't my usual TSR name, but people know me on here, and I'd rather hide my identity when it comes to more personal issues!)

Reply 1

sr4470

15

I would definitely avoid the alcohol method. For your own safety, if nothing else.

Reply 2

michelle9876

OP

sr4470

I would definitely avoid the alcohol method. For your own safety, if nothing else.

Own safety in what way? He's not some stranger remember. I know him very well, the only thing he succesfully hides well is his feelings towards me! I'm quite worried he says what he says just to avoid hurting my feelings and upsetting me. But that may be my own paranoia.

Reply 3

sr4470

15

michelle9876

Own safety in what way? He's not some stranger remember. I know him very well, the only thing he succesfully hides well is his feelings towards me! I'm quite worried he says what he says just to avoid hurting my feelings and upsetting me. But that may be my own paranoia.

I never said he'd take advantage, but you dont want "things happening" while you're under the influence...

Reply 4

~NC~

11

I know exactly what you mean, i really like this boy, we are good friends and we email each other every day. He doesnt know i like him but i want to know whether he likes me or not! He has been sending mixed signals out, sometimes he treats me normally but sometimes he hugs me and acts really affectionately.
With you, he may just be sorting his feelings out, personally id give him a week or two and perhaps ask him again, try and ask him face to face becasue you can look at his body signals for help. Good luck :smile:

Ps, definatly dont go with the alcohol!

Reply 5

michelle9876

OP

Nutchopper

I know exactly what you mean, i really like this boy, we are good friends and we email each other every day. He doesnt know i like him but i want to know whether he likes me or not! He has been sending mixed signals out, sometimes he treats me normally but sometimes he hugs me and acts really affectionately.
With you, he may just be sorting his feelings out, personally id give him a week or two and perhaps ask him again, try and ask him face to face becasue you can look at his body signals for help. Good luck :smile:

Ps, definatly dont go with the alcohol!

Haha, but its the way you loose your inhibitions with alcohol and can actually say stuff without being scared. I really don't think I'd have the guts to tell him face to face whilst completely sober. Not just yet.

Boys eh?! Too difficult to work out. I suppose normalness and sometimes overly affectionate is much better to them just suddenly going cold on you. Thing is, I can be with him like I am with other male friends, however, with the others, theres a different kind of atmosphere.

My flatmate has made the comment that if she walks into a room with us, she feels she should just get up and leave because it feels as though she's interupting something, that theres so much sexual tension there. I'm not entirely sure, but then I don't want to believe anything that might not be true!

And just to clear up the above comment: If I was drunk, with him especially, it might give me the guts to kiss him, but that'd be it. I have more self control, and I know hiim too well to rush anything!

Good luck with your guy NutChopper. I'm sure everythign will turn out for the best :smile:

and if they don't, you can have a bit of fun on the way!

Reply 6

~NC~

11

Lol thanks, i suppose alcohol does have its benefits!!! Lol good luck to you too, there is obviously something meant to be happening between you two :p:

Lol we both need all the luck possible :smile:

Reply 7

Skerem

Best way is to go about it in a sensible way - please don't take the alcoholic way - you may do something complete funky and stupid, and the final results may be the complete opposite of what you were thinking.

You could always talk to him through internet like MSN...or something, it's always easier to talk on the internet than in real person.

Reply 8

Evenstar

13

michelle9876

A boy I know, and quite like, and I don't know what to do about it.

My best friend got very drunk, decided it might be a good idea to tell him. He said he really liked me, but didn't want to ruin anything. Since, we've ended up on a few occasions rather cuddly and holding hands etc etc, however still not kissed. I'e asked him since, and he's told me he's unsure, that its "difficult" but said he did like me as more than a friend. More recently (a few days ago) when I asked him (by text) he said he was just seeing where things went, that he didn't really know how he felt.

I'm so shy around him, because I'm so unsure of him. I never know what he's thinking. We're really good friends though, I get on with him very well, and the time we spend together is so amazing, I don't want to ruin that by making a move unless I know he's interested. Similarly, I don't want to leave it too long because I'm scared it'll mean that any feelings he may have had, he "got bored" of, or just decided I didn't feel the same or something.

Any advice? What do I do? What would be the best/least awkward situation to get him in to make a move? My flatmate reckons get us both wasted and let nature take its course. I'm a little more reluctant with that method. But I am getting a bit impatient now!

(by the way, I realise how unrealistic anything I may post seems, but this isn't my usual TSR name, but people know me on here, and I'd rather hide my identity when it comes to more personal issues!)

If he really likes you then why isn't he saying so? Seems to me that the ball's in his court - he knows you like him, surely if he felt the same he'd have jumped at the chance to get with you? I'm not trying to upset you, to the contrary I don't want you to get hurt by a guy who doesn't seem to know what he wants. xx

Reply 9

michelle9876

OP

I sort of want more people with the opinion you have. But.. Everyone, almost, seems to be telling me the opposite. That he's just shy, and give him time etc etc. He said he'd give me a ring later, and if I'm still up, come see me. He's more brave when he's been drinking, so maybe he'll admit something?! I've also had a few tonight, and whereas I'm in control of myself, I think if I saw him I might be able to say something.

Thing is, talking over MSN, or text is harder than face to face. Saying anything about my feelings toward him at all are difficult. I'm so scared I'm going to ruin everything if I let something happen, but at the same time, I'm so scared that by not letting anything happen I could be missing out on something with him that could be absolutely amazing.

Hohum. I suppose asking for advice here is a bit silly, as noone really knows him or the situation, no matter how much I can describe it!

But still. Ideas of situations it might be good to get him in and make it easier would be appreciated :wink:

Reply 10

Laursy

10

guys are very good about hiding their feelings!!

i like this guy and aparently the wa he was with me he liked me becuase he has been majorly hurt in the past don't trust anyone etc etc and was the most respectable bloke i have met!!

hes all i think about but i know nothing will come of it!

i think you should wait for him to tell you he likes you but if you are like you say worried his feelings migt be going,

or the drunk approach could be good in some situations! as you get drunk and tell him, then you can't say you remember nothing about it if it is bad (but its quite imature)

go the mature choice and i hope everything works out for you!!

Reply 11

michelle9876

OP

Aww no

Something might come of it? Be the girl he learns to trust! Just... Spend a lot of time with him. Do subtle things that means he really can trust you, like if you say you'll ring him, or if you say you'll meet him, then do. Boys seem to like the flattery of knowing you'll do stuff for them if theyve been hurt before, or so I've found. You just have to keep at it! Although, yeah, nothing may come of it. Giving up now though means you don't even give yourself a chance!

Reply 12

HearTheThunder

17

michelle9876

A boy I know, and quite like, and I don't know what to do about it.

I can see him from my window.

Reply 13

sierraleone

I went out with a good mate for a few months and it ended pretty badly. Although I still see her a lot and we're definately still friends, I'd rather have avoided the whole thing now.

If you're just looking for a bit of fun, go for some other bloke I reckon.

p.s everyone's urging you against alcohol. Get your mate drunk instead.

Boy Trouble!

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