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Homesickness: a credible reason for dropping out?
Anyone got any advice on this? It would be much appreciated..
When I left 6th form 2 years ago I decided against going to uni..but with my friends busy with their degrees at different ends of the country and having tolerated a some dead end and low paid jobs I decided I was unfufilled socially and academically and so here I am 2 years later a few months into a degree.
To be honest I didn't know what to expect from the experience of writing essays again and moving away from home, and even the whole clubbing/getting pished scene I left behind.
However I have this gut feeling that this life isn't for me. I feel very homesick and although I can go home every weekend it makes me feel worse..and this affects my motivation for study and makes me feel withdrawn. My other option is to drop out and start again at a London uni at age 21, where I can commute, be in familiar surroundings, save my money and have less of the whole life change thing. I've just spoken to a personal tutor and I got the impression being homesick is no credible excuse...what do you think?
Thanks =)
When I left 6th form 2 years ago I decided against going to uni..but with my friends busy with their degrees at different ends of the country and having tolerated a some dead end and low paid jobs I decided I was unfufilled socially and academically and so here I am 2 years later a few months into a degree.
To be honest I didn't know what to expect from the experience of writing essays again and moving away from home, and even the whole clubbing/getting pished scene I left behind.
However I have this gut feeling that this life isn't for me. I feel very homesick and although I can go home every weekend it makes me feel worse..and this affects my motivation for study and makes me feel withdrawn. My other option is to drop out and start again at a London uni at age 21, where I can commute, be in familiar surroundings, save my money and have less of the whole life change thing. I've just spoken to a personal tutor and I got the impression being homesick is no credible excuse...what do you think?
Thanks =)
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To be honest I don't think it's a credible excuse. I mean are you planning on living with your parents for the rest of your life?
I realise that sounds really harsh, but I think you may need to approach your current surroundings differently. Try experiencing something new, if you sit around in your room all day then no wonder you feel home sick.
Of course, maybe university never was for you, and the only reason you wanted to go in the end was because of passive peer pressure. I'm not a great believer in homesickness to be honest, it's totally natural to miss the security and comfort that home brought, but at the end of the day you've got to try and look forward rather than backward.
I realise that sounds really harsh, but I think you may need to approach your current surroundings differently. Try experiencing something new, if you sit around in your room all day then no wonder you feel home sick.
Of course, maybe university never was for you, and the only reason you wanted to go in the end was because of passive peer pressure. I'm not a great believer in homesickness to be honest, it's totally natural to miss the security and comfort that home brought, but at the end of the day you've got to try and look forward rather than backward.
My advice is stop whining and get out there to find something interesting to do.
Homesickness attacks when all you do is thinking about home and what you'd be doing at home and how things are like at home. It's natural to feel homesick sometimes, but, really, going out, getting busy with work, trying new things...these are all options that are available to you and won't even give you any time to feel homesick.
Now, if you don't like the place you're studying at, that's a different kettle of fish, but as much as you can miss home, just remember you're at uni to work and study and have new experiences, it's not like you're never going to see London again.
Now, if you don't like the place you're studying at, that's a different kettle of fish, but as much as you can miss home, just remember you're at uni to work and study and have new experiences, it's not like you're never going to see London again.
You could also apply to London unis now and by the time you will have offers and have to make a decision, maybe it won't be that bad anymore ? I wouldn't drop out now. I'd try and pull trhough this year and maybe apply for other unis now anyway. You know, I am very scared that I might get extremely homesick. I'll be in a foreign country and won't be able to go home on the weekends. I know it's gonna be tough. But I will just try really hard and not give in. I#m sure you can do it !! Good luck !!
cant believe some people are being such arses in their responses...
First, you need to think about whether this is merely a transition thing or is it actually going to last all year? Its natural when you move away to feel a tad homesick. But like other people have said - going out and making friends is a big part of uni.. do that and see if it helps. Is this because your in halls with people you dont get on with? Or is this because of a deeper problem, like you dont like your course? I think that if the true reason you want to go back is comfort, then you have to be realistic - as others have said here.. you cant live at home forever. When I was at uni I still went home every 4 weeks or so, and most of my friends did the same because it does get a bit overwhelming at times and you need a change of scenery every now and then.
If you really think that this is a serious problem that will last for the rest of your degree, then do something about it. You can either drop out and apply to start afresh next year (deadline looming btw) or complete your year and look into transfering directly into 2nd year at your new uni. Of course, living at home wont solve all your problems. Yes, youll have to pay no rent and enjoy other comforts but you probably wont get a place in halls which means making friends can be hard and in my experience doing work in a home environment is usually very hard.
It was my view that university is about moving away from home and gaining some independence. I specifically didnt apply to any universities within an hour of my home city (Manchester). However, this isnt for everyone I know. Essentially, you need to seriously consider the benefits/disadvantages carefully - but in answer to your question: If you believe your life would be better at home and going to university in London then do that, and dont let some idiot careers person force you into something you dont want.
First, you need to think about whether this is merely a transition thing or is it actually going to last all year? Its natural when you move away to feel a tad homesick. But like other people have said - going out and making friends is a big part of uni.. do that and see if it helps. Is this because your in halls with people you dont get on with? Or is this because of a deeper problem, like you dont like your course? I think that if the true reason you want to go back is comfort, then you have to be realistic - as others have said here.. you cant live at home forever. When I was at uni I still went home every 4 weeks or so, and most of my friends did the same because it does get a bit overwhelming at times and you need a change of scenery every now and then.
If you really think that this is a serious problem that will last for the rest of your degree, then do something about it. You can either drop out and apply to start afresh next year (deadline looming btw) or complete your year and look into transfering directly into 2nd year at your new uni. Of course, living at home wont solve all your problems. Yes, youll have to pay no rent and enjoy other comforts but you probably wont get a place in halls which means making friends can be hard and in my experience doing work in a home environment is usually very hard.
It was my view that university is about moving away from home and gaining some independence. I specifically didnt apply to any universities within an hour of my home city (Manchester). However, this isnt for everyone I know. Essentially, you need to seriously consider the benefits/disadvantages carefully - but in answer to your question: If you believe your life would be better at home and going to university in London then do that, and dont let some idiot careers person force you into something you dont want.
my first thought is no cause i think that if you want something bad enough you can handle beeing homesick. have you thought about if the problem is what you are reading and not that you are homesick. you say you can't studdy because of it, but if you find something interesting you become more comfortable with your situation and the feeling to go home won't take over your life. i think that you should think about if you are reading a degree that you are really interested and make your decision from that.
I'm not sure
Obviousley it has been a big change in your life. uni has affected me in the fact its kinda re-triggered my depression, and yes there have been times i've wanted to give up. I'm tempted to say stick at it. but there again if you believe this is the right thing to do and you wont regret it later in life..well then give it up. its up to you really
Obviousley it has been a big change in your life. uni has affected me in the fact its kinda re-triggered my depression, and yes there have been times i've wanted to give up. I'm tempted to say stick at it. but there again if you believe this is the right thing to do and you wont regret it later in life..well then give it up. its up to you really
If you are going home every weekend, it is probably making your homesickness ten times worse, as you won't be getting so involved with university life. Stick it out until at least Christmas, and try not to go home so much.
I was very homesick, I managed by coming home every weekend, even midweek for a night where I could manage it, but I stuck it out and its ok now. The lifestyle was not, and still is not, me - but if the course is good for you, it will be worth it.
If you're still unhappy after the first year, move back and commute. You can apply now and keep your options open and make a decision nearer the time.
Good luck
If you're still unhappy after the first year, move back and commute. You can apply now and keep your options open and make a decision nearer the time.
Good luck
I don't feel homesick, but I do appreciate where you are coming from - I took a gap year, and worked a winter season, which was fantastic.
I'm now in the position where I'm on a course I don't particularly enjoy, and I'm beginning to think that uni is one of the most over-hyped things on earth... At the moment, it's really winding me up, as this time last year, I'd be getting ready to head out to the mountains to work and ski for five months in a French resort. Frankly, there's no way in hell that anything could compare to that for me, and I find myself with the overwhelming desire to drop out, and go back out to France for the winter.
I now have no option but to work through this crap phase and deal with my issues rather than running away from them. I'll probably end up doing this course for a year, change to something else, and feel a lot better. But at the moment, maybe I do feel homesick - just not homesick in the traditional sense, I guess.
I'm now in the position where I'm on a course I don't particularly enjoy, and I'm beginning to think that uni is one of the most over-hyped things on earth... At the moment, it's really winding me up, as this time last year, I'd be getting ready to head out to the mountains to work and ski for five months in a French resort. Frankly, there's no way in hell that anything could compare to that for me, and I find myself with the overwhelming desire to drop out, and go back out to France for the winter.
I now have no option but to work through this crap phase and deal with my issues rather than running away from them. I'll probably end up doing this course for a year, change to something else, and feel a lot better. But at the moment, maybe I do feel homesick - just not homesick in the traditional sense, I guess.
I took a gap year too. One of the positive things about it was that I got sick of being at home 
Yeah, that's exactly it... I hated being at home once I got back from my gap year, that's about the best part of uni for me - not having to live at home!
why did you not go for the whole london uni thing in the first place?it seems to offer a much more appropriate situation for you and you seem considerably more taken with the idea.....
If you try to make new friends where you are, and actively work at feeling at home - you WILL get over it eventually. If you make where you are feel like home, you can't feel homesick when you're there. I think everyone feels homesick at some point, to different degrees and for different amounts of time. So even if it's lasted a while - I'm fairly confident that if you want to get over it, you will. The problem is that because you're feeling bad, you aren't trying as hard as you otherwise would to make yourself feel at home. I'd suggest that the nostalgic feelings about your old home are making you not really WANT to feel at home in a new place.
If the University and the course are right for you - then homesickness IS NOT a credible reason for leaving.
Sorry if this has been said earlier in the thread - I couldn't be bothered reading the whole thing.
If the University and the course are right for you - then homesickness IS NOT a credible reason for leaving.
Sorry if this has been said earlier in the thread - I couldn't be bothered reading the whole thing.
No, homesickness is NOT a good enough reason. What is the point of dropping out of uni because you miss home, when you have to leave sometime anyway? 
Homesickness is something that most people think is in the head, but if you get to the point that you are so unhappy your work is suffering it may then be the time to think about what other options you have. There is no point in doing something that is making you feel depressed etc, just think about what is best for you.
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