Not being able to come

I'm sorry this is another thread about not being able to come.
Me and bf have been having sex for bout 3/4 months now. I still haven't come yet, what else can we do to help me come? what are we doing wrong?
it's kinda putting a strain on our sex life. i sometimes get upset cos i can't come, and now, he's getting more upset that i don't come and thinking it's something to do with him, but it can't be right?
we just bought some sex toys, ie the rabbit, which we tried last nite, but i dunno, it kinda freaked me out a bit...and i was thinking i don't want my first time to come to be with something that not my bf.
can any1 help?
xxxx

Reply 1

adamu

Its in your head - perhaps you were nervous the first time and so it didnt happen and then you thought there was something wrong and now you dwell on it too much. You need to relax, this is most certainly psychological. Completely relax, dont think about it at all, keep your mind on something else (something naughty perhaps?) and importantly dont tense up! If you think that your not gonna come then you wont, its that simple. This is a common problem and neither you or your boyfriend are to blame, make sure HE knows that otherwise it will effect him very badly.

Try it out! Hope it works out for you.
Best of luck, Ad

Reply 2

SamTheMan

17

Don't worry. Although it's not something girls admit to eachother openly, a lot of girls your age (I'm assuming 17, 18) have never orgasmed, especially with a guy. You'd be surprised at the number who have never achieved that...

Just relax and practice by yourself a bit so you really know what you like and always remember to tell him what you like. If you don't communicate and feel comfortable, it's going to be difficult. There's no secret.

And at least this guy actually cares whether you do or not (although it can sometimes be about pride with us guys) and isn't thinking only about himself.

Reply 3

fairycakes

OP

12

thanx for ure replies guys
but i was thinking also we must be doing sometime not quite right, cos sometimes i don't feel anything at all while we are making love. i mean before we do it i'm so horny and really want to do it, but wen we're actually doing it i don't feel any good feelings. i mean i like doing it in the sense that i like feeling close to him and i love him and stuff, but most of the time i don't really feel any good feelings like he's feeling at all...is that psychological too?
is there nething else we could try?

Reply 4

jb_sweden

Perhaps you're lacking communication on what feels comfortable and pleasant? No woman is the same, there's no standard formula for success. It's all individual. So, if you don't communicate well enough with him, there's really no way for him to know what to do - except trying to notice your reactions during IC, which me not always be that easy, especially if you're acting pleased while not being pleased.

I.e.: try improve the communication.

however, it could be more likely that the problem has to do with your mental approach; I think you are way to stressed and upset about whole thing. Perhaps you could try relax more? Are you having satisfactory foreplay? Is the enviroment satisfactory?

Reply 5

Drogue

19

fairycakes

thanx for ure replies guys
but i was thinking also we must be doing sometime not quite right, cos sometimes i don't feel anything at all while we are making love. i mean before we do it i'm so horny and really want to do it, but wen we're actually doing it i don't feel any good feelings. i mean i like doing it in the sense that i like feeling close to him and i love him and stuff, but most of the time i don't really feel any good feelings like he's feeling at all...is that psychological too?
is there nething else we could try?

Are yo doing anything other than sex? Very few girls can come purely from sex, especially for the first time. You need to try things that give the clit direct stimulation, either with his fingers or his tongue/lips. And if you don't like the idea of coming without him, you could ask him to use the rabbit on you?

Reply 6

jayne87

8

i have the same problem but i havent had sex its just from playing around with my bf

Reply 7

Michelle2

3

I wouldn't get too worried about not being able to physically feel your boyfriend . The vagina only has internal nerve endings for the first 2 or 3 inches, otherwise childbirth would be evn more painful than it already is! Coming during intercourse is, as Drogue said, more difficult than being able to come through oral or manual stimulation of the clitoris, and some women never manage it. At your age there is still plenty of time to experiement and every chance that one day you will acheive orgasm through penetration. For the time being, enjoy manual and oral clitoral stimulation and see what happens with that, and try experimenting with different positions (woman on top is supposed to allow the woman tp come more easily). Good luck!

Not being able to come

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