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Counselling - what should I know?

2

Well, developments have befallen. Ive told people at school and all sorts of help is becoming available. This includes my referral from my school to a local counselling charity. Thing is, Im understandably nervous about it. I know that I go in and talk and they say "how does that make you feel" and I feel better in the end of it. Is there anything I should know about it though?

JR x

Reply 1

*starry_eyed_*

14

just want to say glad you're getting things sorted out :smile:

when you go in there, just talk about anything you want to and don't be afraid that you're talking ubbish or something! their job is to listen so they will! :smile:

Reply 2

Sophdoph

1

I'm in counselling currently. Things to know, erm, well basically they are usually very friendly and you explain your situation and feelings..and they sometimes ask questions about what you have said or ask you to elaborate and things. They don't direct you or anything, it's a very open forum. You can talk about anything, and they really listen carefully..often they'll pick up on things you don't even realise are in your head.

Reply 3

Enchanté

14

*starry_eyed_*

just want to say glad you're getting things sorted out :smile:

when you go in there, just talk about anything you want to and don't be afraid that you're talking ubbish or something! their job is to listen so they will! :smile:

Reply 4

xXMessedUpXx

15

i imagine they'll want to know everything, first time i went i was there for about 2 hours whilst i gave her my life history, they kind of need to know these things so they can help yuo see whats wrong and where they can help.

Its normal to feel nervous at first and you may find you're not that comforatbale talking to them about everything but as you setle it it does become a little easier. that said i hated my counseller with a passion and stoped going waaaaay to early. But try to stick at it. :smile:

sometimes it helps to have someone there who can listen who isn't directly involved and wont tell anyone :smile:

i'm thinking of seeing a counseller (again) soon, and i'm sharing the nerves so you're not on your own *hugs*

Reply 5

sparkly_tiara

2

Hey,

Well, i hope this makes you feel a bit better but i have been having counselling for the past eight months or so and had my last session tonight! Counselling has helped me so much, i don't even know where to begin. Counselling has made me see things in a different light, have allowed me to work through my problems on my own whilst having backup and has been a constant area of support that wasn't going anywhere. I remember my first session, i was petrified so understand your nerves but believe me, it can help and reaching the end of counselling is one of the best feelings in the world! A counsellor wont make you talk about anything you really don't want to until you are ready, you aren't forced into anything and you do have control. Also, if after a few sessions you don't think its working or you dont seem to connect very well with your counsellor, don't be afraid to change your counsellor. The first one i had, i despised with a passion but my second counsellor was the one i stuck with until today and it was entirely different!

Another thing, when i first started counselling i was expecting it to be very personal but i found the distance you have from your counsellor makes it quite impersonal. You may well find that you can be in tears during a session and the counsellor won't hug you or tell you it is going to be alright.... that can be hard, but it helps so much in the long run.

No matter how hard it gets, please try and stick it out. I came close to quitting so many times, so i know what its like but i strongly urge you to never give up. I wish you all the luck in the world, and if you ever need to talk, i am here!

Lou
xxx

Reply 6

AngelofnoColour

14

Counselling was a waste of time for me, they think they give you good advice, when all it is a load of common sense. I know, cos Ive been through counselling for three years and they're crap. If you just wanna get things of your chest or have minor problems its much better chatting to someone who has been through the same stuff as you, or chat to a friend or a family member. If its a major problem, then I'd advise you to pay for a therapist, cos they are well worth it. They dont give you advice, except help you come to terms with your problems and how to get rid of it. there are loads and laods of types of therapies out there. I have been under cognitive behaviour therapy, which I think is great and has helped me loads thos year. Many people have told me I've become a new, more mature and better person. Its really good for depression as thss sort of therapy deals with thoughts and feelings and the root of the problem. I hope everything works out with you mr_jr, if you ever need to chat, I'm always here for you. :smile:

Reply 7

sparkly_tiara

2

I think its interesting that you say counselling is a waste of time. I know that for some people it doesn't work but for me, it was the one thing that did actually work, and i think it is important that people try it if they feel they need it. Also, you said that all counsellors do is give advice that is common sense.... that is very true. However, when something major has happened, i know for a fact that i was not in the right frame of mind at that time and couldn't see things from a rational point of view because i was so upset and devastated. Getting a different opinion on things, from someone completely outside of the situation and who doesn't know you on a personal level can really help.

Lou
xxx

Reply 8

AngelofnoColour

14

sparkly_tiara

I think its interesting that you say counselling is a waste of time. I know that for some people it doesn't work but for me, it was the one thing that did actually work, and i think it is important that people try it if they feel they need it. Also, you said that all counsellors do is give advice that is common sense.... that is very true. However, when something major has happened, i know for a fact that i was not in the right frame of mind at that time and couldn't see things from a rational point of view because i was so upset and devastated. Getting a different opinion on things, from someone completely outside of the situation and who doesn't know you on a personal level can really help.

Lou
xxx

Yes, i understand where you're coming from. Everyone is different, so couselling may suit some and not others. I'm sorry that I said cousnelling is a complete waste of space, cos it isnt, I shud edit that, lol. Counselling gave me a chance to talk about the problem openly, without someone telling me to shut up and stop talking about it all the time. Especially when you're feeling lonely, counselling is great. I was just trying to say, that if its a severe long term problem then seek a professional. the samaritans are good also, lol, I'm advertising here cos I work for the samaritans. :smile:

Reply 9

SexyKe

1

Iv had counselling before and I have to say that my experience wasnt brilliant either. I used to come out feeling more and more upset. Looking back i guess it did get all the bad feelings out of my system but not actually in the sessions so people like my teachers and housemistress (was at boarding school at the time) had to deal with the fallout. I think its a very personal thing; give it a try and if its not for you dont be afraid to say stop. I suffer with depression from time to time but i wouldnt use counselling again; I dont have enough people around me to know that Id come out feeling better; I dont feel that i could just dump on my boyfriend after sessions.

Reply 10

MNBStyle

9

MR_JR

Well, developments have befallen. Ive told people at school and all sorts of help is becoming available. This includes my referral from my school to a local counselling charity. Thing is, Im understandably nervous about it. I know that I go in and talk and they say "how does that make you feel" and I feel better in the end of it. Is there anything I should know about it though?

JR x

No theres nothing you really need to know, its like having a normal conversation about your problems except this person will maybe able to help better.
Dont worry about anything you wont get any surprises

Counselling - what should I know?

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