broken friendship

heyy i dunno wat to do :frown:

me and my bestfriend were soo tight...we did everythin together and told each other everythin...just like any other bestfriends would! but thing is lately, things been goin bad coz i havent been allowed out of the house coz its the last year of A levels - important year blah blah! anyway...she was upset coz i was neglectin our friendship...and eventually i began to see less and less of my friends and especially her....and now she absolutely hates me :bawling:

she purposely ignores me....rolls her eyes if i say somethin in the group....looks at me with so much hate :frown:

and says little comments if im near like....'im goin i dnt want to be here coz roz is here....' it really hurts me...i feel so lonely and i dont want to tell any of my other friends.

i really miss her and our friendship...we havent been talking for a month now...

i thought about goin 2 speak 2 her but i dnt think she wants to speak to me...i kno she'll just say theres nothin 2 talk about or shout or somethin....she just hates me so much.

i don't kno what to do...i wish we could be bestfriends again :frown:

she seems to be carryin on life like normal like losin her bestmate wasnt too bad.

any advice anyone pleasee? what should i do?

Reply 1

an Siarach

Well first of all if shes behaving like that she sounds like a total bitch and i would question whether or not shes worth having as a friend. However if you really really want to maintain your friendship just have a proper talk with her and tell her how youre upset etc and how you truly want to remain friends and why youve not been able to socialise as much as youd like etc.

Reply 2

Enchanté

just take her aside and ask her why your friendship has got this much low say that you understand that your saw less of her during your a levels but she cannot balme you for that you need to do well in life just say you do not want that and other stuff to ruin your friendship and want to carry on being best friends tell her you feel upset about this she may feel the same way if not just say what is her problem you have not done anything to offend her so why is being cold on you... to me this friend sounds a bit harsh just because you are tryng to do well hope this helps xxx

Reply 3

rozzy

thanks guys :smile:

i tried talkin 2 her just now over msn coz couldn't take it anymore! she put another persons face on top of mine in this picture we have of each other :frown:

Reply 4

elr_moran

Sometimes you realise that certain people aren't worth it. If I was in your shoes I would probably decide this about this particular girl. You deserve someone far better than her to have as a friend- she obviously meant a lot to you and she's basically slapped you in the face (metaphorically) by putting someone else's photo on top of yours.

A girl I thought was my best friend... well, quite clearly wasn't. I wasted too much time trying to "persuade" her to be my friend again and I realised afterwards that I should have used that time efficiently with my friends who are true friends, and not people like her. Unfortunately, it sounds like you're in a similar position.

However, I do understand how you feel- in my situation I felt awful for months, wanting her to be my friend again- we'd been friends for about 9 years- and I missed the old her, but realised that she had changed.

If you want to try and talk to her, maybe you should. You say you don't want to tell your other friends but surely they've noticed? Try and confide in one of them. I know you don't want to sound like you're talking about her behind her back (you didn't say this, I'm just assuming) but maybe you need some support?

I hope you sort it :smile:

Reply 5

toiletwall

it does sounds a little be strange she is suddenly being odd with you. If you haven't done anything to specifically upset her/ make her jealous, then there is no reason (and only in extreme circumstances within reasons anyway) for her to be treating you so disrespectfully. I can see you cherish your friendship, so the best suggestion is to take her aside and explain to her that it is your fault you cannot see her as much, and you are not using it as an excuse not to see her. She's being very selfish not allowing you to explain, and also extremely hurtful. I hope it doesn't get you down too much, and things work out for you. Good Luck.

Reply 6

Aristogeiton

She's probably annoyed by the fact that you use 'me' instead of 'my', or by your appalling abuse of the English language.

Reply 7

Enchanté

its best to talk to her face to face force her into talking to you say ' I don't know what i am have supposed to ahve done but you're making it clear i ahve done something, so whats so bad that i have done, building up my future? its not my fault if i was studying for exams and saw less of you, but i thought surely of all people you would of understood that' .... well something along those lines xxx

Reply 8

_Jax_

That msn face thing seems crazy stupid to me. Has she got a new best freind or is she hanging out with one of her freinds more and more? (e.g a replacement for you?) if not it sounds like shes just being childish and cross with you. Time heals all. :teeth:

Reply 9

rozzy

yeah...she said i was choosin my educatin over her. and its so silly coz iv been so upset all day haventbeen able to do any work and have a test tomorow! :frown:

thanks elr_moran...yeah i can see your point too. we've been bestfriends for so long now and i cant imagine not bein friends with her....we fight so often but not like this...and im always wanting us to be friends again. i duno...i think maybe im the one thats changed not her tho.

was just talkin on msn and now im crying :frown:

i hate this so much. i dont think she cares at all. its ok becuase she makes friends so easily...i tried 2 reason with her sayin we'll spend more time together and she said that she has to spend time with her new friends now coz they want to spend time with her. she hates me so much and i stil want to be friends. its like life is impty without her.

airstogeiton wat did u mean??

Reply 10

zhivago

She is an utter tit. She's obviously hurting too, but she's acting like a prick. Tell her so, and if she doesn't grow up and realise that she's losing you as a friend she isn't worth it.

Reply 11

rozzy

_Jax_

yes to everythin u just said. she has tons of bestfriends and she's hangin out with them more and more...thats why she doesnt care if she loses me....im just one of the many bestfriends she has (altho she says im her best best friend)

i just called her aswel (how desperate do i sound....tryin 2 talk on msn and then her goin offline in a huff and then me ringin her 2 come online again to sort it out)

i duno if time will heal it and i dnt kno if i want it to be healed....thers a part of me that just wants to be friends again and then thers another part that cant take anymore tears and hurt from her anymore. :frown:

--------------

zhivago

She is an utter tit. She's obviously hurting too, but she's acting like a prick. Tell her so, and if she doesn't grow up and realise that she's losing you as a friend she isn't worth it.

lol!! thanks i like ur post! straight to the point :biggrin:

lol i dnt think i have that confidence 2 say that 2 her! she'll probz say im the prick for sayin that 2 her!!

Reply 12

Aristogeiton

rozzy

airstogeiton wat did u mean??

Is that meant to be that funny?

(If not, that's exactly what I mean!)

Reply 13

rozzy

Aristogeiton

Is that meant to be that funny?

(If not, that's exactly what I mean!)

huhh!!! im still confused!!! wat are u talkin about?!! :p:

umm are u talking about my typing? because it's a little in text talk??

Reply 14

Aristogeiton

oh dear God...

nevermind.

Reply 15

Lorzy

Rozzy, I know you're older than I was when this happened to me, but let me tell you my story.
My 'best friend' and I lived across the road from each other, our families were friends and we went to school together, I befriended her when she was the new girl. Everything was completely fine between us, then the day after my 13th birthday, she told me that she didn't want to be best friends anymore. She said that she could be my best friend, but I wouldn't be hers.

This turned my world upside down, she made friends with the 'populars' and it used to hurt me to hear them calling her their best friend- I felt like I had no one, we were so close and I used to tell her everything.

However, everything worked out great. I looked around me and realised how great my other friends were. I also started a new interest and found my bestest best friend in the world ever!

I know that when you get let down by somebody you thought you knew that it is the most upsetting feeling in the world, but maybe let go of her and look at the friends that you DO have and who DO appreciate you, and she'll realise that she's been evil!

Nowadays, my ex best friend and I are good friends...everything happens for a reason, maybe you're meant to make new friends!

Chin up Rozzy, it'll be ok

Reply 16

Laursy

in sitations like that you reliase who your real friends are, i have been though the exact same thing as you really recently i fell out with a friend made up with her again ad then she distanced herself frome me and didn;t speck to me because she got a new bloke, and i have no bloke, job or money or car for that matter so she thought she would rub it in my face and call me all the names under the sun!!

i just chose to ignore her in the end or well ignore it in the end
and get on with my life act like it isn;t borthering me, we both are mates with my best friend and she doesn;t like the way this other one has been treating me,

honestly hun you get on with your life you don;t want any unessasary stress before you A levels, if she is respectable she can wait or speck to you when you are in your group, sounds imature to me but she is your mate..!!

Reply 17

Little Girl Red

Hey Rozzy
I've had a really stressful situation with my entire group of friends from school including one best friend who just treated me badly. We used to be really close and tell each other everything and stuff like that and then she really changed and became quite manipulative and spiteful and stuff. She told a lot of lies about me to my friends in school and it really upset me at the time. I would spend hours on msn to her or texting her or ringing her apologising over and over and saying how things were all my fault. I think she found it funny to be honest, to see me basically grovelling.
Do you know what? I am so much better off without her. Now that we are at different unis, I don't miss her anymore. I have such better friends now.
I know it hurts (i honestly do, i know how much it hurts) but appreciate your other friends, find some new clubs or whatever to join, and just don't lose your pride. Whatever you do, just keep your chin up. In the long run, this WILL be okay. I mean, you're off to university next year and you will make completely new friends there adn look back on this and think "I am so much better off without her".

Reply 18

Laursy

I am so much better off without her. Now that we are at different unis, I don't miss her anymore. I have such better friends now.

i bet that made you reliase you were stronger then you thought, im school i used to cry falling out with people, most of them were shallow when i ran out of money and haven't bothered, i reliased i was strong by not letting it upset me and moving on, not biting back at them because that is excatly what they want you to do, simply rise above it and you will find you are better off without bitter and spiteful people in your life!!