boring friends

Besides...if you perceive someone as 'boring', then fine, thats your problem, at your end, let him/her/them be 'boring', they have the right to be 'boring' or 'otherwise'...but to tell him/her/them of it? I think thats disgusting and if i heard someone say that to someone else, i'd be utterly appalled - its disgraceful.

I can recollect an example from yr11 of school - it stuck with me because it felt disgusting at the time. A girl had written in my book that i was funny, something along the lines of making a fool out of myself in class, answering questions wrongly despite enthusiasm to volunteer my hand and answer questions, usually in french class...this leaving book was full of memoirs and so on, collect bits in it prior to leaving high school...my friend at the time was on my school bus, began reading some of the comments outloud to a group of us, he read that particular one...and mumbled "Hmm...you're not that funny...." - i just feel if you hold such offensive opinions, keep them to yourselves...i think Mill's 'Harm' principle goes along such a line.

My friends are great, but theres one problem - its really hard to get them to go out at weekends! They all have excuses, like 'Ive got too much work to do' or 'I dont have any money!'. Some just say, 'I cant be bothered!'
Its kinda depressing, because it stops me going out if i dont have anyone to go with!
Anyone got any suggestions as to how to make them more enthusiastic??

Hehe, you sound like such a geek.
I love you!

Wizard, I will point out that my post describing what happened was a brief overview of what had happened. I don't want to expand on this too much, but I will point out some facts.
I've been friends with him for 8 and a bit years and am one of his best friends.
I said it in the aim to help him - he's a computer games addict with few real friends who is clearly unhappy with his life.
He'd been talking to me for about 2 hours about computer games, and quite frankly I had more pressing things on my mind with counselling a friend.
He misconstrued what my aim was and retaliated, somewhat unfairly, citing a lot of consequences to problems that I've had in life, such as major depression due to the death of my mum, but he failed to realise what the cause for the problems were - mainly because he never asks.
I've left it open for him to apologise to me, but so far, he's declined. Even though he's been set straight on a lot of the untruths he used in his retaliation, he refuses to apologise just to save face. THAT is arrogance.

Many people that know me well will realise that I am a kind and helpful person. As you will see from my sig, I regularly counsel people on their problems. But if theres a problem, I'll tell them. With my mate - there was clearly a problem and I felt that he needed to realise what he was doing to himself. I'm sure he wants a girlfriend but lets face it... playing on Everquest II all day isn't going to get him anywhere... apart from with an elf.

So before you start slating me, please, make sure you get the facts before you make judgement.

Oh and incidently, I don't understand the people who claim not to like pubs. Isn't that roughly saying you don't like sitting around talking to your friends? Pubs vary very little, it is the company that makes things exciting.

Ok thats fine...i did say in my first post, comments were based on that little bit, you hadnt provided the facts/situation till now - so you're friend is far too self-indulgent and selfish then...you did leave yourself open for criticism based on that post i edited, but having now known the back ground, fair enough...

Surely it depends on the situation. If you are trying to help the friend an do what is best for them then I don't think its bad. Its like would you tell a friend if you knew they were being cheated on? sometimes the truth hurts but it is for their own good.

I also don't think its a case of being arrogant. Surely if a friend doesnt go out or whatever then it is only right to help them to stop being like that. I used to be like that. I didnt used to go out at all because I was too shy and well... boring. I didnt want to be like that! Its the way I was. But thanks to some close friends they helped me out and offered me a lifeline to be more sociable. I owe them everything. So I think to call someone arrogant and disgusting is more than a little harsh based on the scanty facts that you/ we know.

Yeah... I'm sorry, I see your point, I hardly put it across very well hehe.

I disagree I'm afraid. Not wanting to go out and get drunk, or watch your friends get drunk is hardly the same as being cheated on. Not follwing what is seen as the social norm is hardly something that someone needs "helping out of" by their friends? If they don't enjoy it, I'd say that's their choice and doesn't really affect anyone but them, so why do they need to be given a lecturing and shoving towards a pub to "sort them out" if that isn't what they want to do in the first place?

Yeah, I was thinking just pubs and things and speaking from my own experience. I don't like going out that often and if my friends tried to make me go "for my own good", I wouldn't be too happy being made to do something I didn't want to.

In your situation/example, you're right, a helpful shove or guidance in the right direction is always helpful, if that's what the friend is looking for. Applying your solution to MadVlad's friend may not be the best approach though, I guess we were looking at it from two different angles!