This discussion is closed.
Peapod
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 16 years ago
#1
Hi
I've already sent this off so I'm just looking for opinions really as I had no guidance writing it as I'm not at college.
I've been rejected from York for psychology and not heard from anywhere else yet - although I only sent it a few weeks ago. I have grades AAAB and A in General Studies

Well, here goes:

Psychology fascinates me as it is a large part of everyday life from reactions to advertising to how you remember what you’ve learnt in an exam to interacting with friends.
I chose to take A Level Psychology because the idea of learning about human behaviour appealed to me. The empirical nature of the subject also attracted me as I had enjoyed my Science GCSE and I felt it was a good balance to my other A Level subjects. I want to continue my study of Psychology as I am still enthusiastic about learning how people will behave in particular environments. I have a passion for investigating how we can find this out and most importantly why people behave in this way. Asking “why” plays a large role in my interest in Psychology as it allows us to try to find out the answer to all the “why” questions prompted by our environment. I also like the fact that Psychology is a challenging science coupled with an academic discipline for which much reading must be done.
In addition to recently watching and enjoying The Human Mind on BBC1 I have read a number of books on Psychology including “Psychology in Perspective” by Nicky Hayes. I found the chapter “The Politics of Nature and Nurture” interesting as it reminded me of part of my A Level course, Individual Differences.
I have also read “Psychology : The Science of Mental Life” by George A. Miller. The chapter “The Mind of a Child” was also of special interest to me as Developmental Psychology is an area I would very much like to go in to in greater depth. I see it as connected to my career aspiration as an educational psychologist. I realise I will have to work very hard to achieve this and I am therefore fully committed to a degree in Psychology.
I enjoyed studying German as it gave me an insight in to a different culture and reaffirmed my desire to travel. I also found that studying a foreign language improved my communication skills and made me more aware of grammar which is beneficial when writing essays. My other A Level subjects, English and Law, were strongly based on essay writing and helped me to develop skills such as evaluation, structuring arguments, using references and including information from a large number of sources. I think these will be invaluable skills when studying Psychology.
Whilst at college I was Assistant Editor of the college magazine. This involved a large amount of responsibility and organisation. We had to hold and attend meetings, design the layout, proof read and edit articles. It was important to meet deadlines and therefore we were required to work successfully as a team. The opportunity to write creatively was what first attracted me to becoming a member of a magazine as this is one of my hobbies. Last year I completed an evening Creative Writing course at a local college which enabled me to meet a wide variety of people whilst furthering my hobby. These two activities played an important role in increasing my self confidence, and, as I enjoyed my class last year, and have an interest in languages, I am now learning Italian one evening a week.
At school I was a senior prefect and I helped at a summer school for younger children. These responsibilities helped me to mature and develop my self-discipline skills which I feel would be important for studying at university.
In addition to this, work experience was an important step in becoming more independent. I have worked in clerical roles at a solicitor’s office, a Magistrates’ Court and the Human Resources department of a large international company. Communication skills, time management and being able to adapt to new environments and learn quickly were all positive attributes I felt I gained from this experience.
I am currently taking a year out to work and I hope that this will help me to face the new challenges university will bring with a mature and focussed attitude. I will enjoy studying a subject I am so enthusiastic about as well as taking full advantage of what university has to offer me as a person.
0
James_W
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#2
Report 16 years ago
#2
Seems very standard, nothing is very grabbing about it.
0
02leah
Badges: 0
#3
Report 16 years ago
#3
well that was encouraging james w! i thought it was good, everything a personal statement should be.
I know there is a need to stand out, be different. but i think the most important thing is to be yourself. so r u (james w) some kinda ps expert? are u an admissions tutor? or just seen loads and loads of them and have decided to pass ur 'all knowing' judgement? just sounds like arrogance to me. mayb i should get some advice from u then?!
0
Ben.S.
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#4
Report 16 years ago
#4
(Original post by 02leah)
well that was encouraging james w! i thought it was good, everything a personal statement should be.
I know there is a need to stand out, be different. but i think the most important thing is to be yourself. so r u (james w) some kinda ps expert? are u an admissions tutor? or just seen loads and loads of them and have decided to pass ur 'all knowing' judgement? just sounds like arrogance to me. mayb i should get some advice from u then?!
He told you the truth! It's bog-standard and not really very interesting. If you were 'being yourself', then you come across as a rather mundane person on paper - ideally that's not the image you want your personal statement to convey. It's not bad, just not paticularly memorable.

Ben
0
Peapod
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#5
Report Thread starter 16 years ago
#5
(Original post by Ben.S.)
He told you the truth!

Ben
If you look, it wasn't me replying to that! But shouldn't the phrase me "box-standard" not "bog-standard"?!

Thanks all three for your comments.
Standard is actually reassuring. I didn't want to risk trying to stand out at the expense of sounding like a [email protected]
I was being myself in respect to that is how I would write a formal document.
Thing is, what do you do to stand out? There isn't much which wouldn't backfire unless you happen to be an olympian or the PMs son.
I think senior prefect and editor are alright achievements fo rme - I just needed reassuance there wasn't something drastically wrong with it!
0
Ben.S.
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#6
Report 16 years ago
#6
(Original post by Peapod)
If you look, it wasn't me replying to that! But shouldn't the phrase me "box-standard" not "bog-standard"?!

Thanks all three for your comments.
Standard is actually reassuring. I didn't want to risk trying to stand out at the expense of sounding like a [email protected]
I was being myself in respect to that is how I would write a formal document.
Thing is, what do you do to stand out? There isn't much which wouldn't backfire unless you happen to be an olympian or the PMs son.
I think senior prefect and editor are alright achievements fo rme - I just needed reassuance there wasn't something drastically wrong with it!
Bog-standard is fine. There's nothing wrong with it in the sense that the spelling is sound (I assume - I got bored about half way through). One thing, though: subject names like 'psychology' shouldn't be capitalised.

Ben
0
Peapod
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#7
Report Thread starter 16 years ago
#7
(Original post by Ben.S.)
(I assume - I got bored about half way through).

Ben
Thanks!!
Well the capital letters are on advice of my english teacher and tutor so I'd rather rely on them than a stranger, no offence!
0
Ben.S.
Badges: 2
Rep:
?
#8
Report 16 years ago
#8
(Original post by Peapod)
Thanks!!
Well the capital letters are on advice of my english teacher and tutor so I'd rather rely on them than a stranger, no offence!
Oh, OK. That doesn't quite tally with what you said before:

'I had no guidance writing it as I'm not at college.'

You shouldn't capitalise them.

Ben
0
Peapod
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#9
Report Thread starter 16 years ago
#9
(Original post by Ben.S.)
Oh, OK. That doesn't quite tally with what you said before:

'I had no guidance writing it as I'm not at college.'

You shouldn't capitalise them.

Ben
I'm not at college but it went through them en route to UCAS.
0
James_W
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#10
Report 16 years ago
#10
(Original post by 02leah)
well that was encouraging james w! i thought it was good, everything a personal statement should be.
I know there is a need to stand out, be different. but i think the most important thing is to be yourself. so r u (james w) some kinda ps expert? are u an admissions tutor? or just seen loads and loads of them and have decided to pass ur 'all knowing' judgement? just sounds like arrogance to me. mayb i should get some advice from u then?!
Oh, I didn't realise this thread is only for PS Experts and Admissions Tutors. Surely someone saying that the statement is great, is automatically an admissions tutor then? Now hush up you absolute ****tard.
0
Adam®
Badges: 0
#11
Report 16 years ago
#11
sounds similar to a m8's of mine, which i suppose is a complement since his was good, but most ps sound similar, heck even mine sounded similar and im applying for Eng, general style of a ps:

Oh i love my subjects
Oh and ive got extra curricular activites which express my love
And i love u and ur uni so plz let me through those pearly gates.


Ps: James u wanna relax a bit? u seem to get wound up a bit easy.
0
viviki
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#12
Report 16 years ago
#12
The punctuation isnt right in all places dont know whether that is because you have typed it up in a rush. I agree that its a pretty standard statement but that doesnt mean that it wont secure you a place, being cautious is sometimes the way to go.
0
riffraff
Badges: 1
Rep:
?
#13
Report 16 years ago
#13
there are only so many variances on the formula mentioned earlier. with so many applicants, any PS is going to sound standard. i shouldn't worry
0
llama boy
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#14
Report 16 years ago
#14
You don't actually mention anything about what you are doing in your gap year.

Which comes across as a bit curious.
0
claire1985
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#15
Report 16 years ago
#15
(Original post by Ben.S.)
Bog-standard is fine. There's nothing wrong with it in the sense that the spelling is sound (I assume - I got bored about half way through). One thing, though: subject names like 'psychology' shouldn't be capitalised.

Ben
Yes they should be capitalised. In my PS i capitalised 'History' when i was talking about the subject, left it in lowers when i was talking about the concept
0
Peapod
Badges: 0
Rep:
?
#16
Report Thread starter 16 years ago
#16
(Original post by llama boy)
You don't actually mention anything about what you are doing in your gap year.

Which comes across as a bit curious.
I say that I'm taking a year out to work, and if they look in the employment section they'll see what I'm doing - seemed a bit silly to repeat something which wasn't interesting.
I am just working to make money to try and see me through uni.
0
X
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

University open days

  • Sheffield Hallam University
    Get into Teaching in South Yorkshire Undergraduate
    Wed, 26 Feb '20
  • The University of Law
    Solicitor Series: Assessing Trainee Skills – LPC, GDL and MA Law - London Moorgate campus Postgraduate
    Wed, 26 Feb '20
  • University of East Anglia
    PGCE Open day Postgraduate
    Sat, 29 Feb '20

People at uni: do initiations (like heavy drinking) put you off joining sports societies?

Yes (530)
66.75%
No (264)
33.25%

Watched Threads

View All